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*** PLEASE NOTE *** I use no other social media, and my comment section here remains closed due to chronic harassment/repeat impersonations by a certain individual. Also, I rarely comment anywhere; when I do, only from this blog as "Chrysalis" or with my real name from email (see correct spelling my profile). If there is ever any question as to legitimacy, please contact myself or Mark via email or phone.


Monday, April 6, 2020

PS - On That Note, Let's Play The Song :)

(Edited)

As mentioned, I plan on re-posting this song when it falls off the main page, during this time :)

After reading the below post, my husband's reaction is different than mine (we both have PTSD, which has some commonalities, but manifests in different ways.)

We both go on autopilot, think through it, become super resourceful in survival mode - but his manifests as a general distrust of everyone, whereas mine is fairly specific regarding types of personalities.  (With his being a former Army ranger from Detroit, his general distrust makes sense).

So he loved what she had to say, other than the part about interconnectivity and finding connection with each other.  


Mark:  "I'm in ranger mode - I'm walking down the street looking at everyone like they could kill me, even if they don't mean to.  That false sense of American invincibility can kill us all, but she wants to bring us closer together."
Me: "And that's okay to feel that way, it makes sense with your background.  However, I don't think she means physically, I think she means emotionally connected to each other, to give and receive more love and that our lives have meaning." 
"Because the fact is, none of us are perfect or are handling this perfectly, there's no guidebook.  We all suffer from a little bit of that American invincibility at times, it's part of our culture.  Especially soldiers.  I mean, there's you and two of our former neighbors, going into work still (well, if you get called in), like it's the tough and brave thing to do, like soldiers.  The only difference is, you have an diligent wife who has learned how to be resourceful during hard times lol. You're welcome ;) lol.  Actually, you can think MY PTSD for that resourcefulness thing lol."
"But take it from me, there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity I've never quite mastered lol. Make sure you don't follow suit."  
  "Some of these people do know the seriousness of it, but most of them, they just have to earn a living, Mark.  They're not trying to be negligent or in denial, they just don't have any other choice, and it's their employers in denial and not providing proper protection. " 
"I think what Dr. Bowler is saying is that if nothing else, we need to judge less and recognize that we're all vulnerable and there's a commonality we can find in that, and be supportive of one another." 
" And you know, despite harping at me about giving stuff away, in the end, you'd still save as many as you could, if it came down to it, whether they ever realized it or thanked you either, just like me, because that's just who we are, like it or not."
Mark: "I don't know about that.  Would  I go back and do it all again to save these people who voted for a selfish dictatorial and delusional monster, who the most communist-behaving person they could've found by the supposed anti-communist party?  No, I don't think I would.  Because you know, after this thing is over, we're going to go right back to stabbing each other in the back over politics, money, and power, victim-blaming the poor, lack of compassion, selfishness, racism, all of it.  Nothing will change."
Me:  "Some will, some won't.  People are all different.  Some will remember what it was like to live in fear of loss of life, loved ones, financial stability.  Others won't.  They may not want to revisit negative emotions because it scares them, or perhaps they imagine themselves better, stronger people because they survived/sailed through it, instead of just incredibly fortunate." 
"I think what Dr. Bowler is saying, though, is to focus on the angels in the situation, not the a-holes." 
"But if you're not in that place, not ready, and you need to feel this way to feel safe, that's okay.  We're all different and handle this differently, and that should be okay as long as it doesn't make other people unsafe."

It's a balance - ways of finding light and hope (that don't demand positivity in other people to make us comfortable), but also don't ignore reality/negative feelings that crop up, they're natural and normal and those feelings will pass (and they help us avoid the "American delusion of invincibility" trap).

Regardless, if you are in need of a little light and hope today, here's Dr. Bowler's final words in that article again, followed by the song again, which essentially says the same thing:


"The trick is to find meaning without being taught a lesson. A pandemic is not a judgment, and it will not discriminate between the deserving and the undeserving. I think moments like this reveal to me God’s unbelievable love for us.

The second I see all these nurses and doctors going out there trying to save somebody else’s life, I realized it’s such a window into how gorgeous it is to be a human being. And the more we see fragility, sometimes the more we understand what an incredible miracle it is to have been created at all. So I think just having a higher and higher view of our gorgeous and terrible humanity.

We’re learning right now in isolation what interdependence feels like and what a gift it is, and the more we’re apart the more we realize how much we need each other. We’re allowed to be like beautifully, stupidly needy right now. We’re allowed to FaceTime people and be like, I feel like a mess, and all I want to do is be loved.

I’ve been thinking about how this is happening in an increasingly secular America, and how there are people who have these deep resources in their religious communities and there are others who don’t. What if you are someone right now who doesn’t pray?

For me part of the joy of prayer is having abandoned the formula. I have no expectation that prayer works in a direct way. But I do hope that every person, religious or not, feels the permission to say, “I’m at the edge of what I know. And in the face of the sea of abyss, someone out there please show me love.”


Because that’s to me the only thing that fills up the darkness. It’s somehow in there, the feeling that I am not for no reason. And that doesn’t mean anything better is going to happen to me, but in the meantime that I will know that we all are deeply and profoundly loved. That’s my hope for everybody.
___________________________________

Repost

... okay, don't roll your eyes - yes, it's a Contemporary Christian song -  but actually OK musicians and not total cheese.  


It's about how God doesn't always save us, but he's still right here with us, until the very end - and how you can see him in the situation, if you look in the right places.

The video helps,  depicting 3 people's stories - a man who was laid off during the recession, a young woman who's husband left her, and on older lady who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  

A a total stranger leaves them each a box with a single firework in it, with instructions to set it off at midnight - which  creates a collective firework display - and they suddenly realize, they're not alone - they're all struggling, in different ways, together  :)

I thought maybe others might need this song, right now, too, for different reasons?

It's called "Light Up the Sky" by "The Afters" - lyrics are below.  The lyricist says he wrote it during the worst time of his life, unable to see God around him, when he prayed that he could feel God near.  Just then, an unpredicted, popup thunderstorm came up and it wasn't until later, that was an answered prayer, lightning up the sky in a beautiful fireworks show for him :)





 Lyrics: 


When I'm feeling all alone
There's so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It's falling on my skin
Oh God will you come close?


Light light light up the sky
You light up up the sky to show me
That you are with me
I -I-I can't deny
No, I can't deny
That you are right here with me!


You've opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That you are with me

When stars are hiding the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining

When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood you're rushing in
Your love is rushing in


Light light light up the sky
You light up up the sky to show me
That you are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny
That you are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That you are with me


So I run, straight into your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show your love, there's nothing
You won't do
(you won't do)


Light light light up the sky
You light up up the sky to show me
you are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny
That you are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That you are with me


_______________________


Romans 8:38-39  (NIV) 


"38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."





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