Thursday, February 6, 2025

Palestinian-American VS. Palestinian Reaction to Trump


This distinction is very interesting to watch, because it gives us a glimpse into one of our biggest flaws/darkest parts of human nature, despite the fact that it's initially done innocently, in good - but blind - faith.


And it's not just how much belief "trumps" fact, but how irrationally far people will actually go to avoid experiencing "buyer's remorse" and cognitive dissonance, over something or someone they believed in/trusted/voted for  ...  how far they will go to avoid to ever admitting they're wrong, especially when the stakes are this high.


Though Palestinians themselves are expressing shock and alarm at Trump's words of taking over the Gaza strip and concerned by Trump taking sides, interestingly, Palestinian-Americans who voted for Trump are simply dismissing his words as "all talk."

(Interestingly, that's the same reason they gave for NOT voting for Harris.)


In reading the NYT today on this subject, several people were quoted from Hamtramck area of Detroit, which is almost exclusively Palestinian-American and voted for Trump, despite Harris meeting with them specifically during her campaign.


Their responses ranged from "It's all talk" and "MAGA supports us on other issues with which we align."


???

Like what?

Women's issues and anti-LGBTQ stances?

Most of them feared/scapegoated/hated Jewish people, long before they hated you?  😂

Erm - the enemy of your enemy is not necessarily your friend.


Okay - even if it doesn't happen, which we already knew was highly unlikely - you know what's NOT all talk?


The fact that Trump very clearly and publicly took sides with Netanyahu/Israel's government in literally kicking you out. 

The fact that Trump just tried to give $1 billion worth of bombs and other military aid to Israel, but was blocked by Congress. 

The fact that Trump stood on that stage with Israel's Netanyahu, grinning like a Cheshire cat - but no Palestinian leader will ever stand on that stage next to him while he's in office. 


Now, don't get it twisted ...

I need to clearly state - again - that I do NOT take sides - I am neither for nor against Israel OR Palestine.

And just because I can't stand Netanyahu doesn't mean I'm anti-Semitic, either.

There's a difference between disliking someone's current government leadership versus their country's people or their faith.


I suspect those in power know this, but it better suits their purpose to call people who disagree with their political leader's choices, "Anti-Semitic."


Heck, most of my Jewish friends and neighbors, practicing or not, can't stand Netanyahu either, and it has nothing to do with his race or his faith - as an individual, he's just an a-hole!  😂


What Hamas did on October 7, 2023, was horrific and pure terrorism - and it was inexcusable.


However, their behavior doesn't exist in a vacuum, either.


Because Israel, especially under Netanyahu leadership, has done some pretty horrific things to them as well, including torture, trying to bully them out, both before and especially after, October 7th.

Also, this has gone on between them for centuries, and though we should always denounce terrorism, we should also not take sides - if we're going to get involved at all, we should help negotiate for peace.


Speaking of liking a race or faith, but disliking a country's leader, I'm a practicing Christian and a proud American, but I am disgusted by Trump for many reasons, but especially for helping to push Christian Nationalism, for 3 reasons:


1)    One of the things I'm proudest of, in this country, was that we were the very first country to separate church and state, after asylum seekers escaped religious persecution in other countries to build this country.  
We then do NOT turn right around and demand everyone practice just Christianity, especially just one interpretation of the bible, and call anyone who doesn't unChristian or unAmerican.  

 

2)    Jesus said (Matthew 7:15-16) 
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits.
I see absolutely zero "good fruit" evidence that Trump is a practicing Christian; in fact, quite the opposite. 
Trump's fruit is rotten and bitter - it tastes like fear, hatred, vindictiveness, power abuse, war-mongering, arrogance and greed - all things that Christ literally preached against.  
I suspect he's using Christianity to gain support for himself, like he is the Palestinian-Americans, but he has no actual loyalty to anyone but himself.  

 

3)   From my perspective - not that I claim to have interpreted the bible correctly,  but that's precisely my point, we can't be sure anyone has - Trump and other self-proposed Christians have failed to read the bible cohesively, noting the progression towards human maturity over time and how they perceived, interpreted and experienced God. 
My evidence is the OT versus the NT, particularly Christ himself repeatedly encouraging us to mature away from merciless religious law into God's law based on loving they neighbor. 
And Christ encouraged us to continue this progression towards maturity as a society - not cling to and stagnate in previous immature human misunderstandings!
More importantly, many Christians have not just innocently misinterpreted scripture, as we all can -  they've intentionally perverted it for their own selfish, greedy gain (and some Muslim and Jewish leaders have done the same).


So Palestinian-Americans/Muslims, if you imagine that you and MAGA and ever truly "aligned" on whatever issues you're talking about?

Think again.

Because although they're equal-opportunity fearers, scapegoaters, and haters of anyone not exactly like them - including over half of them also fearing/scapegoating/blaming Jews - they especially hate Muslims after 9/11.


Living in a red state for the last 30 years, I can promise you that.


They're just using you and your vote.


And if you think that supporting them will eventually lead to changing their minds about your race/religion overall?

Again, think again.

The most you can hope for with people who fear and hate just about everyone not exactly like themselves is that they may put you, personally, as an individual, in the same "exception to the stereotype rule" they do with people of color and Latinos who support Trump.


Do NOT confuse that with changing their minds about your race or religion overall, or imagine they actually trust you or that they see you as an equal. 

Do NOT imagine they wouldn't call ICE or the police on you, too, in a heartbeat, knowing you're legal, just out of political-media induced paranoia.

It never ceases to amaze me how people refuse to see what's right in front of their faces in favor of their owns beliefs, religious or otherwise, as well as to avoid their own cognitive dissonance.


Palestinian-Americans, I'm talking to you ...

Jewish-Americans, I'm talking to you, too ....

Fellow Christian Americans, particularly Evangelical ones, I'm talking to you.

Latino Americans, I'm talking to you.

Middle and Working-Class Americans, I'm talking to you.

People who buy Trump these for $10, then try to cash them for $1,000 at the bank or use them to purchase items, I'm talking to you. 




Please hear me when I warn you that there are very clear red flags that Trump demands loyalty to himself, but has no true loyalty to anyone but himself. 


People who believe/trust blindly, minimizing and dismiss very clear red flags rather than addressing them, are likely in for a world of hurt later.



Trump isn't going to save you - he doesn't really care about you OR your causes, or even that we can't afford groceries - as evidenced by wanting to spend our money on absurd things like Greenland, the Panama Canal, and the Gaza Strip.


All he cares about is prime real estate for his own personal benefit rather than this country (or any country), corporate and government power abuse, and his own glory.


And as far as God and your faith saving you?

Does God save/rescue us from the consequences of our own poor choices?


(Not usually - I can testify to that one myself.)


And with this overly nationalistic and isolationist path the world is on, has anyone thought that if we truly do that, then no one truly has any allies if/when we need them? 


Let's stop being so short-sighted, so blindly loyal, and start paying more attention to red flags without immediately dismissing them.


As for my other thoughts on Trump's personal Gaza fantasy, see my post the moment he said it, 2 posts below. 



Wednesday, February 5, 2025

If I Had Money, I Would NOT ... 😂


I don't know about you, but I needed a laugh. 

Last night, after I wrote that post, I decided as long as we were living in La-La Land about the Gaza Strip, as long as we were escaping reality, why not look at houses I will never afford in my lifetime? ðŸ˜‚


Speaking of La-La land, I decided to check out LA, just to see how much they were overcharging for what. 

Good Lord,  I couldn't help but notice that the fact that people have money doesn't mean they can can buy good taste.


Don't forget, as I've said before, there are only 2 things I'm snobby about - film and architecture - because if you have that kind of money to make either, don't be just throwing up crap in our faces, assaulting our senses, and expecting us to buy. 

Oh, but they do. 


So I decided to start a new series "If I Had Money, I Would NOT ..."

Los Angeles, Volume I


Bear in mind, I will begin with fairly mild tackiness which gets progressively bizarre, until I end with a home that might need its own on trigger warning  ðŸ˜‚

AND they are all legit for sale on Zillow and Realtor.com, right now, at a cost of $10 million to $40 million dollars - what sweet deals! 


So here we go - if I had money and could buy a home in LA, I would NOT ...

Stick a giant plastic pink ice cream cone in the foyer to break the endless monotony of black and white Las Vegas hotel decor. 




I think they're trying to make a statement, but what? 


"Black and white is all the LA rage, right now, and I know this all looks sterile and stern, but we're  actually really fun people - see?"


I guess it could be worse - because here's another similar home without it.



The Spanish staircase at least has a wee bit of dramatic design flare,  yes ...

... but what's that circle in the center for?

Is it for a table with flowers, but you decided you wanted people to feel as intimidated as possible instead of welcome?

Or is it where you make the peasants stand, pull a lever, and drop them to the shark tank for your own amusement?

(And no, actually, it's not because the owners have moved out - the other rooms still have furniture.)


But back to my point, if I had money and lived in LA, I would NOT ... 


Take beautiful, historical 1920s and 1930s historical Hollywood homes and do the following dastardly things to them, such as ... 


Paint my 1936 historical LA Spanish Colonial Revival, once owned by Golden-Age movie moguls, and paint it a color somewhere between lavender and  Pepto-Bismol pink. 




Buy a stunning, original 1925 LA Spanish Colonial Revival, national historical landmark home like this, but paint it from its original white or eggshell, to a strange sort of mustard yellow ... 




... and then pretend it's Asian and Middle Eastern instead ... 













Wow. Just ... wow.  


Holy cultural (mis)appropriation, Batman!

You've somehow simultaneously misunderstood and insulted at  LEAST 4 completely different cultures at once!

That's dang near sacrilege.


Now, I'm all for eclectic, but all of those things not only have  absolutely nothing associated with the Spanish Colonial build of the home, but they don't even go with each other!


Same.  I would not buy a tile-roof, 1930 Spanish Colonial villa like this ... and then ... 





... do whatever this is to it ...





(I'm still trying to figure out what those 2 giant, gaudy gold statues even are.)


Similarly, I would not take a beautiful, 1925 LA Tudor Revival Mansion like this ... 




And pretend it's a modern NYC loft?




That little plastic table in the foyer corner as the focal point really sets it off, right? 

Oh dear. 

No, no ... 






Still no ... 







HELL no ... 





Or take a 1929 Classic Beverly Hills Traditional - almost as iconic as the California Bungalow or the Spanish Revivals of LA of that era ...





And pretend it's modern, installing ceiling lights and furniture and art that not only don't go with each other, but actually clash! 

I mean, who chose this, a color-blind person?





I just ... ?

No.

And what did you do with all of those amazing wood and built-ins, in their kitchens - replace them with a fast-food restaurant theme?






And I don't even have words for whatever this is ... 





Now, let's go back modern.  I guess.

I would not ... 

Buy an authentic, mid-century modern, classic Beverly Hills movie-star pool home like this ... and then ...





Get rid of all of those great wood built-ins those homes originally came with, paint the remaining wood white, and fill it with Value City Furniture?

To include a new cheap wood bookshelf, which not only doesn't match now, but you already had one built in, which you apparently removed!





If I had money, I would not ...

Bring a bit of the Old South to LA, reminding everyone of slavery,  by building a replica of a Southern plantation!





Build a lovely modern Spanish Colonial Revival home in 2002 like this, and then ...




... stick a giant bright yellow sculpture of a gift bag in my foyer and call it "art!"





(The little hutch built especially to hold the old classic 1950s gas pump totally makes up for it, though, doesn't it?)  🤣


I would not ... 

Paint my shoddily built, lopsided-roofed, wooden house a terra cotta color, pretend it's adobe, and try to charge 15 million for it! 





Similarly, I would not paint my stucco house terra cotta, pretend it's adobe, and stick a large rusting pipe in my yard and call it "art."




Oh, but wait there's more fun inside ...





So let me get this straight - you wanted it to look like Spanish-Native American on the outside, but your foyer hall to look like an Egyptian tomb?

I don't even know what to say about this room, nor what its purpose is.





What the actual F*@% is that?

Is that an alien Romeo climbing up to a Juliet balcony indoors or ... ?

Never mind, I don't care, I've lost interest.


Back to things I would not, in another home ... 

Buy an otherwise lovely, modern Spanish Colonial beach home, but get wallpaper with giant gold roses and ugly, uncomfortable, cheap purple furniture with white plastic trim, which I was probably overcharged for ...





Maybe it looks better from another angle?



Yeah, no.


I would not ... 


Build a house that screams "cult compound" .... 




And turn what actually are amazing interior-design elements into some sort of mausoleum, with a giant picture of that Grudge girl as the focal point!




It makes a statement, all right -  "I want you to be sad - Zen sad, but still very, very sad."


Similarly, I would not ... 

Build a house that screams either another cult compound or in which someone could manufacturer military weaponry ... 











And here it is folks!

The actual room where they either design weapons of mass destruction or perform labotomies as part of their cult rituals? 




Wow, I feel so warm and cozy now.


I would not ...


Build this, for any rational reason.




Build a house that could actually injure me, just trying to enter it ... 




Inviting!

Especially the red demon man chair to lay on by the pool!

I'm not a fan of Le Corbusier anyway, but even he would say "WTF?"

At least his structure and flow made  sense and didn't look cheap.



What IS this room, anyway, the torture chamber?





And lastly - trigger alert and the one that takes the cake - The Strip Club/Torture Dungeon house.

I would not ...

Take my perfectly good Malibu Beach home ... 







And apparently let Diddy design it for his freak-offs?





The staircase leading to hell?




Note the actual stripper pole in the room ...







Hey, I know - let's all sit in Hell's lava hot tub, likely filled with everyone in LA's body fluids - fun!




I don't even want to know what goes on in each of those little offside rooms.  




What does the industrial red light mean, that it's a red-light district or that she's been successfully sold to a Russian oligarch?

And I wonder how many women were  Ruphyed and abducted here?

Good Lord, what kind of misogynistic human trafficker would want to buy it, and then have to pay good money to have a haz-mat team come in and fumigate it!


Like I said, money doesn't always buy good taste - or a conscience?!?




Tuesday, February 4, 2025

Trump - Alongside Netanyahu - Just Proposed the U.S. Take Ownership of the Gaza Strip ... AND ...

 

... he also said the Palestinians should leave, and be "relocated to countries with humanitarian hearts."


Oh?

Where exactly is THAT for Palestinians?

Especially since you just cast out asylum-seekers, as well as just put Elon Musk and Marco Rubio in charge of gutting our USAID program?

(Jimmy Carter is rolling in his grave, right now.)


And with whose money and military are we taking over the Gaza strip and WHY?


The Gaza strip has no resources we need - there's not even oil there.

It's just premier real estate, a watering-hole oasis in the middle of the desert, which both religious groups want.


We can't even afford our own groceries, but this a-hole wants to own the Gaza Strip using our tax money so that he can, what - build a new shrine hotel to himself or what?


Oh, hell, yeah ... sign us up to vacay at the Trump Hotel on the U.S-owned Gaza beach,  so we can get pipe-bombed or Molotov cocktailed! 

Let's go party like it's 1939  at thew new "Riviera of the Middle East" and pretend like Jewish hostages weren't taken, raped and killed and that hospitals weren't blown own, killing Palestinian children in the process.

What's next, we turn Southern former-slaveholding plantations and concentration camps into Trump theme parks and hotels?

Woo hoooooo, partayyy!


That has GOT to be one of the top 5 dumbest, delusional, inappropriate, insensitive things he's ever said, and he says a lot of dumb, delusional, inappropriate and insensitive things.


So ... this is a religious-based territorial fight between them that has gone on for centuries that we have absolutely no business getting involved in, other than to help mediate/negotiate for peace!


But you know who does own the majority of actual oil fields in the Middle East that we lease from?

Palestinians.

(Oil leasing rights which we likely just lost completely.)


Exactly how many fights is he picking at the expense of our young people's lives?

And for what?

New Trump hotels on the Gaza strip, his own glory, and some truly insane attempt at world dominance, starting with  takeover of questionably-resourced land when we can't even afford our groceries?


Over my dead body, will he use our tax money and the young lives in our military to take over and own the Gaza strip (so he can build new hotels?)  OR Greenland OR the Panama Canal, and I mean that.

Now that is the first time I've ever said anything like that, that I'd die first, but I mean it - enough is enough!

Because this crazy MF and his socially irresponsible, chronic diarrhea of the mouth is gonna get us 9/11-ed again!

(But don't forget, Palestinian-Americans - we told you so -  but you juuuusssst wouldn't listen and voted for Trump anyway. )


And with that, the snake-oil salesman/con man has already surpassed being worse than even I thought he would be as President and it's not even been a month!


God help us all now - Christians, Muslims, and Jews alike - and I mean that.

(Except God, can you close your ears for a sec, while I say that Trump - and his little Russian-style U.S "Broligarchy" - can kiss my descended-from-Polish-Irish-Scottish-British asylum-seeking/illegal-immigrant-natural-born-American arse.)




Monday, February 3, 2025

And Lastly, Despite Everything ...

 

...  I still CHOOSE to believe what Sunita from India once told me.


"When life gives you a big slap in the face, God grants you 10,000 other little prayers/wishes - but will you be too focused on the big slap to notice?"


I have a wonderful husband now, good friends, good neighbors, good in-laws, and I only communicate with the saner and/or well-therapized members of my family, all of whom listen, respect what I have to say and believe what I say and vice versa, and I'm super grateful for that.


I'm also grateful for little kindnesses shown me during those "slaps," never overlooking the angels that still do exist,  despite a world clearly full of assholes. 


Like the woman in the story I told below, I have accepted that I will never get admissions or apologies, I may never see truth revealed or justice served,  there may never be karma -  but it doesn't matter.

Because also like her, I realize that focusing on wishing for justice or for karma to catch up with people only keeps you tied to them, trapped in the pain they caused - it can make you so bitter that you become just like the people that wronged you.

Because in the end, it's not about what happens to them, what they've learned, and their soul - it's about what happens to you, what you've learned and your soul. 


Will you catch their bitterness disease or will you refuse to stay tied to them and move on?

Happiness really is a conscious choice.

As for me, I consciously CHOOSE to focus on, and be grateful for, those little prayers answered along the way 😊


I also believe in this verse ... 


Genesis 50:20

"What was done to me was meant for evil (selfishness), but God, in turn, meant it for good, for the saving of many lives."


These words were uttered by Joseph to his family, who threw him in a pit, lied about it, left him for dead, and then while he was in that  powerless state, he was falsely accused by someone whose advances he rejected.

20 years later, he'd become the king's steward, and during a famine, provided for the same family who had done these things.


You get a sense that they weren't really going to be a close family again, and I say that for 2 reasons: 


The first reason is, since they didn't recognize him and he wanted to see the whole family again -  including little brother, Benjamin, whom he'd never seen -  he hid a silver cup in the nastiest brother's bag, then accused them of theft.

He did both to mess with them a little and have a good reason for the guards to transport the entire family back within the safety and provision of the king, at the expense of the kingdom, rather than his family. 

When they arrived, he revealed his identity, cleared them of theft charges, and then uttered those words above. 


(Thr false accusation part is NOT cool and something I'd never do,  but you get why he did it.)


The second reason is because though some brothers apologized, the main ringleaders never did, still justifying what they had done, (and we can assume the other brothers not mentioned were on the fence about it).

Safe distance from that kind of bitterness/toxicity for your own safety is just wise.  😉


Nevertheless, he brought himself to do what they could not - and in doing so, he ensured the survival of all 12 sons of Jacob, which would become the 12 tribes of Israel - from one of which Jesus himself descended (Judah).


Because sometimes?

You gotta exemplify what the right thing to do is, when the people around you can't/wont bring themselves to do it 😉


Feel what you need to feel, for as long as you need to, but don't wallow in your suffering, lest you become just as bitter as those who wronged you. 

That, too, is a choice.  

You can become bitter about your own suffering - OR - you can use your story to try to make the world a better place, end others suffering and exemplify what you'd like to see, so that one day, no one will ever have to suffer as you/others did.






Sunday, February 2, 2025

PS - A True Cautionary Tale/The Worst Case Scenario ...



I really don't like to think about/remember that time in my life that I mentioned below, when Domestic Violence sent me to a group therapy "boot camp" for survivors during the daytime, on a weekend, 15 years ago.  

The "boot camp" group therapy was for women who had been abused by their partners, as well as anyone who had been sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, and/or stalked/cyberbullied.


But current and recent events, including the DEI removals, have triggered that memory, and I felt I needed to add this story of a worst-case example of the direction we're heading as a society.


That is because I'm not sure if people realize this, but along with removal of DEI programs and protection comes removing protections for things like whistleblower protection from retaliation, protection from sexual assault/harassment/stalking,  as well as protection from discrimination and harassment/bullying, for whatever reason - race, religion, gender, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, age, or just because you're different than the others, for better or worse. 


In fact, Trump already tried to remove sexual assault/harassment  protection for women in the military in 2016.


And to top it all off, South-African, Nazi-saluting billionaire, Elon Musk -  already born into wealth before his car company - voted for by no one into a new office that wasn't congressionally approved, himself disallowed constitutionally from ever being President -  has just been given the keys to the US Treasury, and thus our social security and Medicare programs by Trump - in blatant defiance of our U.S. Constitution - and the supposed GOP "patriots" actually applaud it?!?


If we continue to believe lies told by billionaire power-abusers that there's no need for these provisions and protections, even those civil rights provided for within our constitution - and that anyone who claims there is need is the liar - then we will lose funding for these provisions and protections, and thus, they will be lost completely and very difficult to get back again.


 Now, back to this "boot camp," there was one woman who spoke to us whose story I will never forget - and I feel terrible because I can't remember her name for the life of me, despite having a really good memory.  😢

I remember Bonnie (post below) and some other people, but I can't remember her name, isn't that odd?


So the facilitator wheeled her in to speak to us in a wheelchair with oxygen, dying of Stage IV lung cancer at the age of 47, but looking 20 years older than that.


Just 3 years prior, in Florida, she had been living with her husband and 3 children in Florida. 

Her husband got drunk and began beating her again, in front of her in-laws and children, who literally cheered him on, so said the police who arrived later.


She hadn't been able to leave previously because she had no family, no job, and no money, and was disallowed friendships, even at church.  He had total control of all communication outside of the home, all communication had to go through him.


If she left, she didn't know how she could provide for her children (whom he didn't beat - yet).


But what she did do finally is talk to a DV counselor on the sly, who advised her to have a "Go bag" - and if this happened again, leave to a hidden DV shelter, taking her kids if she could.


She escaped his hold, ran, grabbed the trash bag full of clothes, toiletries, and the cab card the social worker gave her, and ran out of the house - but he caught up with her - and dragged her back inside the house - by her hair. 

Once inside, he knocked out most of her teeth and broke over 14 bones, 2 of her bones literally sticking through her skin - right in front of his parents and their 3 children.


A neighbor saw her being dragged back inside by her hair and had called the police.


When police arrived, despite her nearly bleeding out on the floor, everyone - including the in-laws and children - blamed her. 

In fact, her abuser tried to use the scratches on his face and the skin under her nails as "proof" that she attacked him and was abusing him, and he was simply defending himself, using the fact that he never beat anyone else as proof. 



Incredibly, the extremely dysfunctional/sick family still backed him, saying she attacked him, and that if she was gone from their lives and dead, all would be well.

They didn't do this out of fear of him - as the children weren't beaten (yet, but he would go on to later -  his parents lived with him and he couldn't justify it as easily).

They did so because he had scapegoated and blamed her as deserving it because she was the root of all the family's ills and  and that all their problems would go away if she did, they'd all be better off if she was dead.


However, the police, not being complete idiots, knew the scratches on his face were self-defense wounds - and she was a bloody mess on the floor with 14 broken bones, missing teeth.

The police told the DV social workers that they were floored with how sick and brainwashed this family actually was.


The truth was right in front of their faces, but they instead chose to believe their version of reality, their father's version - that she deserved it, she was the cause of all of their ills, and she should be beaten and killed.

Why?

Because that's all their psyches would allow - otherwise, what would it mean about them for going along with it?


So the police took her to the hidden women's shelter, who moved her here to  a shelter in the foothills of Eastern Kentucky, in hiding. 

She and the social workers tried to convince her children to come with her, as the shelter had room for them, but they refused to go - still dysfunctional-family brainwashed that everything was her fault and she'd brought it on herself - plus they'd have a house on the beach in Florida, rather than  living in a shelter in the foothills of Kentucky.


Being that she moved from the state, she tried to press charges, but didn't get very far, despite the police testifying on her behalf.

He owned a small construction company, with which he ignored building codes despite hurricanes, bribed local officials to look the other way, overcharged poor people for repairs after hurricanes, and  then either didn't do the work at or did shoddy repair.

So he had money, lawyers, and local public officials on his side, whereas she had an appointed DV Legal Aid attorney and nothing, with no social support. 


In the end, he got anger-management classes and 6 months in jail, and still, a family and community in Florida, who still believed he was the innocent victim and she was just crazy.

No one ever suggested to him to go to therapy, and even if they did, he wouldn't go or stay in therapy  - because in his mind, there's nothing wrong with him.



For the next two years, she wrote her children, called them, sent cards and gifts on their birthdays - but they either wouldn't respond, or when they did, had to defend herself from new false accusations, they name-called her just like he did, told her to STFU and F off, and ordered her to never call them again -  so she stopped, not wanting to upset them or put them in the middle further, waited, and prayed. 


One year after that, she was now dying of Stage IV lung cancer - and her children wanted nothing to do with her, despite Child Welfare being called on the dad for now beating the oldest daughter. 


She worked on bettering herself, stabilizing herself, healing. 

She went to therapy, recognized that she was already raised in an abusive family, had previous abusive relationships out of familiarity and brainwashed to believe she deserved it, and learned that she never really learned to recognize appropriate boundaries, as well as what it was about herself that drew these people to her like a dinner bell. 

She learned how to better recognize the red flags and avoid sharks, rather than trying to swim  with them in the water while bleeding. 

She learned better coping skills with her hair-trigger emotions as a result of trauma. 


She cleaned the shelter in which she lived in gratitude, became a mentor to new entrants, and a honorary aunt and grandmother to all the children and a good babysitter when they went on job interviews, etc. 

Then DV got her a small apartment and a part-time job at a grocery store, with her earning "Employee of the Month" several times.


And yet despite the therapy, despite doing everything she could to  work on herself, to improve herself  - her wounds, inside and out, including the grief about her children, never truly healed - she just learned to live with the pain and focus on gratitude and held out in silent hope.


Then I heard that she died 3 months later - never seeing her children again, nor did they attend her memorial 😢


The kids were still brainwashed by rich daddy, now singing the false song that she "abandoned" them, despite it being their choice to stay with him, despite the known risk of her life, and despite the social workers being there every step of the way, telling the children themselves they could come. 

In fact, the police, the social workers, everyone tried to tell them the truth, but they literally put their hands over their ears. 


And the sad truth in fact is this - statistically, groups who are that dysfunctional, that brainwashed, that group-sick, will never snap out of it - too scary for the psyche, what they went along with, so they need to justify it.

As proof of this, on a larger societal scale, Nazis went to their graves still believing that torturing and killing Jews was justified. 



Now - if you still don't see the connection to DEI and the direction we're heading in, here it is.

Here we go again, we have learned nothing from history.

 We live in a society that scapegoat/blames all their ills on the people who actually have the least amount of power.

We live in a society that "punches down" their frustrations on powerless people, because they can, and then flips any self-defense or their righteous anger back on them as the abuser.

 We live in a society who is currently scapegoating/blaming poor, traumatized  immigrants for all our problems, particularly  if they have darker skin -  despite the fact that our own Irish, Scottish, and Italian relatives were treated this way, and most of them were NOT legal.

We live  in a society that removes federal and state protections from the poorest and and the most powerless.

We live in a society that makes people's poverty and suffering their own fault and about "not working hard enough," despite the lowest paying jobs actually being the most physically demanding.

We do all of this rather than even acknowledge these are systemic problems and that America is  NOT the land of equal opportunity for all and that many of us weren't born into the same opportunities.


So we tell them to "stop being a snowflake" and "weak," to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps themselves without help" and to "go to therapy/get help" rudely and then walk away -  without lifting a finger to actually help them.

Matthew 23:4:

"For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers."


All of this blaming and deciding who's "deserving" thereby relieves us of any responsibility for helping anyone struggling. 


And we do all of this ignoring that no one - and I truly mean no one - is truly self-made.

Whether public or private assistance, somebody helped you/supported you, financially or otherwise, whether you want to admit that or not - from your parents paying for college or grants/loans, to your first boss taking a chance on an inexperienced you.


Even though we liberals like to believe we're better, we, and  sometimes therapists themselves,  advise  victims to go to therapy to "learn how to cope better," and how to figure out how to better themselves, how to prevent themselves from being a victim again, rather than  confronting/addressing the power-abusers that got them there.

And again, with as helpful as the suggestion of therapy can be for wounded, victimized people - none of it will actually solve the problem- and is still a form of victim-blaming. 


I guess because viewing people struggling or wounded makes us uncomfortable.  

It forces us to think about our own vulnerabilities, when we like to pretend they're not there, and our own vulnerability disgusts us. 

So we tend to view people struggling as weak, rather than wounded.


All of this rather than truly addressing the real problem in society -  the mental health of power abusers who victimize, whom we misperceive as stronger, saner and more stable, especially if they have money.

In this way, the only people carrying around consequences, shame, and end up in therapy are the victims - the abusers receive little or no consequences at all, never go to therapy or stay in therapy (because in their minds, there's nothing wrong with them, they are the victim), and so they go on to victimize again



But back to this woman, despite all of this, here she was, now with dentures, paid for by donations, smiling.

Despite her story making me question God myself, she was grateful to God that someone heard her and that she stopped believing her own brainwashing that she was at fault. 

She started to believe now that whatever her flaws, his army of enablers telling her it was her fault -  his abuse of her was NOT her fault - and it didn't matter how many people believed otherwise; though there is strength in numbers, there isn't always truth - mob rule doesn't make the mob right.


In fact, she had more hope than any of us, she put us to shame.

She had to stop sometimes, due to shortness of breath, and the social worker filled us in on the rest of the story, verified by the police reports and court records and being with her trying to reach  out to her children. 

We could all see the visible scars on her face, her arms and legs, it was hard to look at - and there wasn't a dry eye in the house when she was done speaking.

She was truly amazing, an inspiration - which is why they chose her to speak to us. ðŸ¥² 


Stories of injustice to that degree literally make us wonder where God is, don't they, or karma?

In fact, perhaps that's why I can't remember her name - we don't like to think about stories about injustice, like that, without happy endings.

Though she was inspirational, her story still ended badly - no happy ending for her, and that's hard to process, the lack of justice or mercy in this woman's life.

In fact, there are even worse stories, where people walk right through EPOs and kill their victims, though, aren't there?'


But I guess the saddest part of her story is that she survived all of that, but cancer killed her just 3 years later, when just 10 years later, Keytruda immunotherapy might've saved her life (but she probably couldn't afford it anyway.)

Yes, she likely brought cancer on herself with her smoking - if nicotine addiction is her worst flaw, then so be it - she'd been shamed and punished enough.

And yet her gratitude for what little mercy she did receive before she died made a lasting impression I will never forget. 


In fact, considering my story,  I almost felt like I shouldn't be there. 


But as my DV counselor reminded me, don't minimize your own pain, don't gaslight yourself - there IS a common thread, though different levels - which is why we all were there.  There was a part of her in all of us there, that weekend. 


Point being,  snap out of it, America -  God forbid you step out of your own often petty problems to help someone else. 

Do we really want to go even further backwards into a societal mentality that blames people who are actually the most powerless for its own systemic problems and dysfunction?

The worst societal case example of this is, of course, is Fascism/Nazism.

Tell yourselves whatever you like to justify it, but the truth is, we're dancing dangerously close to the devil on that mentality, folks.