Best Advice for 2025 - From NYT Readers

The following pearls of wisdom were given by NYT readers when asked by columnist, Melissa Kirsch.

(Don't worry, most of them won't be turned into a corny meme - you might even find one or two useful/helpful?)

“We are all juggling so many balls. Differentiate between glass balls and rubber balls — and don’t be afraid to drop the rubber balls” - uncited (author shared from the prior year). 

"Do something today your tomorrow self will thank you for." — Ava Shaffer, Cincinnati 

"The real game doesn’t start until the fourth quarter. I take it to mean that you are never out of time, and it is never too late to make a comeback." — Annelise Medina, Los Angeles 

"People who avoid their own feelings will neglect yours." — Jennifer Pagliaroli, Bethlehem, Pa.

"If you have a plant with mealy bugs, spray it with rubbing alcohol." — Joli Holmberg, Minneapolis 

"Even one step a day gets you 365 steps farther in a year." — Andie Daniels, Charlottesville, Va. 

"It could be great?" — Angela Southern, Pflugerville, Tex. 

“Shake the tree,” my mom advised. “You never know what will fall out.” Put another way: It never hurts to ask. I shook the tree this year and some great things came about: a new mentor, a penalty waived for a late submission, a free plate of zeppoles. — Jennifer Suzukawa-Tseng, New York City 

"Attend funerals for relatives of people you don’t know really well. It is the kindest thing you can do for an acquaintance." — John Immerwahr, Bryn Mawr, Pa. 

"Stop thinking about your problems and make someone else happy. "— Sonja Jewell, Leesburg, Va. 

"Don’t just put things back. Put them away." — Tracie McGinnity, Rochester, N.Y. 

"If you’re worried about something that really doesn’t matter and you know eventually you’ll say, “Who cares?,” why not just go straight to “Who cares?” — Kimberly Andersen, Old Bridge, N.J. 

"Instead of trying harder, try softer." — Martha Bonnie, Phoenix 

"Everything is better after you stretch." — Tal Hadani-Pease, Sherman, Conn. 

"If you’re going to procrastinate, do something you enjoy." — El’isha Allen, Abu Dhabi, U.A.E. 

"It’s never too late to have a good day." — Carolyn Kettler, Kansas City, Mo. 

"Go to the doctor!" — Amy Henning, Palatine, Ill. 

"The only time you should look in someone else’s bowl is to see if they have enough." — Jess Wehmeier, Indianapolis 

"Love shows up." — Kathy Fry, Grosse Pointe, Mich. 

"Some seasons you produce fruit, some seasons you prune, and some seasons you let your roots grow deep." — Jonathan Berry, Berea, Ky. 

"When someone is interpreting your behavior or actions without a spirit of openness, de-escalate the conflict by saying, “I would appreciate it if you could be more generous with me.” It really works and leads to conversation, not argument. — Kate Fessler, St. Paul 

"Use up everything in your freezer." — Tess Hartman, Kennett Square, Pa. 

"The world is run by those who show up." — April Conway, Reno, Nev. 

"Retire as soon as you can. Time will always be your most valuable asset." — Julie Drew, Akron, Ohio 

"Get off Tinder." — Will Boone, New York City 

"If you’re unhappy, do something about it. If you are happy, do something about it." — Kelly King, Pittsburgh 

"There’s a connection between novelty and joy." — Jacqueline Lovell-Lantz, Sandy, Utah 

"Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me, now?" — Astrid Moresco, Fort Collins, Colo. 

"Don’t look at your medical test reports before the doctor has a chance to explain them to you." — Melanie Mullins, Walden, N.Y. 

"Nothing is ever as good as you think it will be or as bad as you fear."— Gail Baron, Charlotte, N.C. 

"Does your houseplant make you feel happy? If you’re just keeping it alive out of a sense of obligation, let it go!" — Mary Ann Carter, Kensington, Md. 

"Don’t be the one to tell yourself no." — Skye Verhofste, Des Moines 

"Sometimes the greatest act of kindness is to pretend you haven’t already heard that story before." — Sarah Schroeder, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

Some of these will be of no help at all, and some will make you go "Huh, that's true, that's good." 

Take the good, leave the rest behind ... which is MY advice for the New Year :) 

Merry ... Trumpmas?

 

So if you've lived in Lexington in the 90s, you will likely remember the Turner house on Chinoe, which everyone visited when looking at Christmas lights.  It was tacky and overdone even then, but the kids loved it, right?

Well, the Turners sold the house in the early-to-mid 2000s, so it had no Christmas display for a few years, but then rebought it in 2012 , and since 2020, instead of true, traditional Christmas decorations and lights, they did this instead ... 

Sigh.

Nothing says Christmas like tacky red, white, and blue ... everything ... PLUS an ugly new Tesla out front, right?

No ... just ... no.

We do not mix Jesus' birthday with frenzied, American over-nationalism, I'm sorry. 

BTW, this is not my photo - I won't be visiting the Turner house, thank you!

I have no young children anymore, and if I did, I wouldn't be taking them, because I don't want to indoctrinate them in American fascism disguised as patriotism disguised as Christmas decorations.  They're confused enough about this political era as it is. 

Sigh again.

If you want to see Christmas lights, go to the Southern Lights at the Horse Park, the Jones' Mt. McKinley and Toronto Road Houses, or the Fire Station on Harrodsburg Road, the Tanbark or Hartland subdivisions, Hays Road, or our favorite - the Ellerslie Lake community across from Jacobson Park, if you're into more tasteful Christmas lights and decor? (Well, mostly.)

Regardless, at some point, all of this Trump worship, American arrogance, and choosing propagandic belief/paranoia over fact must end. 

PS UPDATE

_________________

The above photo was taken last year, before the election - this year, they have resorted back to traditional Christmas fare.

PS - One of My Gifts from Mark

 

... is a true Claddagh from Ireland (since we both found out through DNA testing that we have distant relatives who are both from County Cork, Ireland).

So here's the symbolism of the claddagh.

Heart - Love.

Crown - Loyalty.

Two hands, holding the heart with crown,= friendship/partnership is the base of both the ring and the relationship.

How it's worn traditionally ...

If single - right hand, heart out, crown facing you.  

If in a relationship - worn on the right hand, crown out, heart facing you. 

If engaged - left hand, heart out, crown facing you.  

If married - left hand, crown out, heart facing you. 

He got it at Failte, the Irish imports shop downtown, and I love it!!! 

If single, you wear the hear

Merry Christmas!

 

Now it's time to play our annual game, guess who made which cookies? 

Well, he's getting better - and mine are getting worse?  

(So mine are on the right, his are on the left.)

He says the white one with red is a Chinese dragon, but I'm pretty sure he made that up after the fact, whatever shape he saw in the gloop 😂

Still a fun time!  🙂

And lastly, a little hammer dulcimer Christmas music for you, from champion Ted Yoder.

Merry Christmas!

Ziggy, "Helping" Me Wrap Presents ...

 

So if your presents are wrapped a little wonky, this year, this is why ... 😂

 Yeah, there will be no present-wrapping in his presence, because it all becomes toys for Ziggy, especially if there's ribbon. 😂

And then when he's finished chewing all the paper and entangling himself in ribbon, he prances around with it, as if he's really accomplished something.  😂

Well, I'm glad someone did! 

What the AUA Guidelines Actually Say ...

 

Not exactly Christmas fare, I know, but I'm growing a bit tired of being quoted "the guidelines" by physicians, at least here in Lexington, regarding recurring/chronic urinary tract infections, without understanding them.

This puts the patient in a situation where they have to rebuttal the doctor with what the guidelines they skimmed actually say, which is never a good position to be in.

Yes, the AUA Guidelines DO say this: 

5. Clinicians should obtain urinalysis, urine culture and sensitivity with each symptomatic acute cystitis episode prior to initiating treatment in patients with rUTIs. (Moderate Recommendation; Evidence Level: Grade C)

But then immediately afterwards, they say this ..

6. Clinicians may offer patient-initiated treatment (self-start treatment) to select rUTI patients with acute episodes while awaiting urine cultures. (Moderate Recommendation; Evidence Level: Grade C)

Which means, doctors of Kentucky and others in America -  you DO treat the patient with something when they're symptomatic while awaiting culture results -  at least first-line therapy to keep them at bay, but usually based on evidential effectiveness of the last culture and sensitivity results - you do NOT just let them sit there for another 5 days getting sicker and sicker!

Also, THIS ???

Antibiotic Prophylaxis

12. Following discussion of the risks, benefits, and alternatives, clinicians may prescribe antibiotic prophylaxis to decrease the risk of future UTIs in women of all ages previously diagnosed with UTIs. (Conditional Recommendation; Evidence Level: Grade B) 

Non–Antibiotic Prophylaxis 

13. Clinicians may offer cranberry prophylaxis for women with rUTIs. (Conditional Recommendation; Evidence Level: Grade C

And THIS ...???

Estrogen 

16. In peri– and post–menopausal women with rUTIs, clinicians should recommend vaginal estrogen therapy to reduce the risk of future UTIs if there is no contraindication to estrogen therapy. (Moderate Recommendation; Evidence Level: Grade B)

I am taking cranberry and D-mannose daily (helpful in some women) and I'm just about to start estrogen (which was suggested by my OB/GYN, not my urologist - but where's my prophylactic antibiotic after at least 4 UTIs a year, hmm?

And then of course there's this, AUA ...

If I have to leave work every time I have a UTI and come in and get a suprapubic cath specimen and wait 5 days for treatment, I will lose my job - not to mention, a kidney infection, and as I age, confusion symptoms.

Also, the only places that do catheter specimens are urologists and the ER - are you really gonna make me go to the ER, when I can't get into my urologist - for a UTI?

Lastly, if you could change "self-start the patient on treatment while awaiting cultures" from moderate recommendation to "strong," that would be super helpful. 

We all understand the risk of antibiotic resistant infections, but are we doing all we can to prevent them?

Because many women DO require prophylactic antibiotic treatment, and even estrogen after menopause. 

If I have more than 4 a year and am postmenopausal, I should be on prophylactic antibiotics and estrogen - period.

You cannot just not treat symptomatic women with a proven UTI through clean catch specimen and allow them to get sicker and sicker, just to avoid community antibiotic resistance, when they ARE sick. 

End of rant! 

😂

 

Luigi Mangione, Flips The American Script?

 

Well, this one is an interesting sociological case study, isn't it?

I say sociological, rather than psychological, because of public reaction to it - but perhaps the field of social psychology would be the best fit.

For starters, you can't say the usual suspects, can you?

A good-looking kid from wealth and privilege, valedictorian at his prep school, attended Ivy League college for both his undergrade and his master's, and until recently, close with his family and a ton of friends, seemingly happy, "normal" - then shoots and kills someone he considers a symbol of the corporate culture that afforded his family that privilege?

Interestingly, rather than dig up dirt on him, the press is almost sympathetic towards him, speaking of "debilitating" back pain and surgery in 2023 and possible mounting medical bills for a young adult as a potential motive.

So ... is that because of his family's wealth and privilege again, or this time, is it because he's become a sort of folk hero to many Americans who imagine a "nobler" cause of fighting against corporate America, particularly healthcare?

Similarly, is the extra press attention, on both side of politics - as well as the well-publicized nationwide manhunt and "Wanted" poster postings - because he shot a corporate CEO or because people are fascinated with this story?

(Well, he also embarrassed NYPD by shooting Brian Thompson in supposedly the most secure, well monitored areas of NYC, so they  definitely wanted their man after that.)

Time will tell. 

Regardless, therein may lie Mangione's point.

What seemed like a senseless act of violence that ended in the murder of a CEO that would do little to nothing to change our healthcare system in and of itself, may have ramped up the conversation on the high cost of healthcare versus the profits some healthcare companies are making.

In the end, will this change the way we look at healthcare or will it entrench it? 

Again, time will tell. 

United Healthcare CEO, Brian Thompson, Shot and Killed in the Street ...

 

Working in healthcare myself, I found this especially shocking, right?

So though we don't know yet why that United Healthcare CEO, Brian Thompson, was shot and killed in the Manhattan street, we know this - somebody was trying to send a message - but what IS the message?

As I was writing this post, just a few moments ago, the news came across the wire that there were words written on the bullet casings found at the scene: 

"Delay. Deny. Defend" and another news outlet claimed one of them said "Depose."

Hmmmm.

Wait .. what???

If it's true that one really said "depose," then that almost sounds ... political?

I don't know what that means, but I only hope it does NOT mean there will be more shootings.

So  until we figure out that out, let's talk about public reaction, and the first thought that ashamedly went through our minds when we first heard this, for a split second, admittedly or not, was "All right, who's medication or surgery didn't get covered?"

Now, that's a sad state of affairs in America, when even for a brief second, we're considering some sort of less dastardly motive for  murder, as if it's somehow justified because it's a health-insurance CEO, isn't it?

So then I felt badly for thinking that even for a brief second as a motive - because this is a human being - who didn't deserve to be shot in the back in the street by some coward who ran away, leaving 2 teenage boys fatherless. 

But apparently, the lack of sympathy for the man on social media wasn't just a brief fleeting thought for others, some of whom are openly expressing their outrage with health insurance companies and American greed as a result?

Okay, people, I get it - the astronomical cost of healthcare and the fact that this guy made $10 million a year, when so many people can't even afford their medication ...

... but DO understand that insurance companies are often just as frustrated as we are with overpriced pharmaceuticals and they are the only gatekeepers we have to try to mitigate pharmaceutical cost by placing prior authorizations on them to ensure 'right drug, right patient' or placing "steps" of other generics "steps" ahead of them first - (think Ozempic).

In fact, I jokingly said yesterday "Dang, if you want to shoot somebody over high healthcare costs and lack of coverage, shoot the pharma CEOs or the third-party pharmacy-benefit-manager CEOs!"

Of course, I was joking - nobody deserves to be shot over anything! 

(Well, unless it's self-defense.)

Look, I understand American frustration with American greed and losing faith in our justice system, especially when it comes to wealthy, powerful people whose actions affect, even ruin, people's lives - but we do NOT shoot people over it in vigilante justice!

There are also many theories as to what kind of message the shooter was trying to send, from possible insider trading, considering it was an investor meeting, or if there was some sort of love triangle or pissing off the wrong person over coverage - but we don't know.

That's what happens when you try to send some sort of message, but shoot somebody in the back and run away rather than face justice yourself, like a coward.

Regardless, let's all try to find our moral center again, because although we are all frustrated with the high cost of healthcare and greed run amuck and the lack of affordable justice - we do NOT go vigilante and shoot people!

Día de Acción de Gracias (Thanksgiving Day)

I know that everyone loves their own yearly traditions on Thanksgiving - but it's also fun to try something new!

Though I don't have any pictures because we were too busy having fun (although one might be forthcoming from the hosts, though it was difficult to get us all together in one photo), we had a GREAT time at my neighbors' brother and sister-in-law's house on Thanksgiving! 😄

They are originally from Puerto Rico, so we blended together some traditional Puerto Rican fare and Southern-American fare - and it was delicious!

So in addition to turkey and my usual Southern fare, we had the best ensalada de papa (potato salad) I've ever had in my life from our hostess ...

(These aren't pictures of the actual meal we had, just pics I found that matched what was made 😉)

It was so sweet! (But not too sweet, it was perfect!)

Arroz con gandules (rice and peas) from my neighbors, which can be a side dish or standalone ...

And flan (a caramel custard sort of tart), also from my neighbors, which I'd always wanted to try - DELICIOUS!

From what I understand Spanish or Mexican flan usually comes in a pie shape that you cut into big slices, like a pie ...

And Puerto Rican flan can come this way, but it has slightly different ingredients that makes it "lighter" - and it comes more like this, small and delicate ...

... and then you cut small slices from it.

SO good - especially if you're a caramel fan, which of course I am!

So Puerto Rican flan is my new favorite dessert, which is saying something, because I generally don't eat a lot of dessert - but it's the perfect dessert because it's so light!

It was cute, because my neighbor and friend and I decided to try each other's dessert at the same time - her flan and my cranberry-maple (brown-sugar and cinnamon) tart, and we were like "Ready? Go!" and we both went "Mmmmmm ... oh my God" at the same time! 😂

Then we had after-dinner drinks called called "Coquitos" (co-KEET-os - super fun to say, try it), which is like Puerto Rican egg nog - sort of - but coconut based.

Coconut, condensed milk, vanilla, rum, cloves, nutmeg and cinnamon!

Mmmm ... SO good!

I was like "Let's make a barrel of this and roll it out to the pool, this summer!"  😂

Then our hosts' son's college friends came over and I had brought the game "In the Air" Pictionary (which is like regular Pictionary, only you draw in the air with a digital pen and it shows up on your devices), only we didn't take the time to set everyone up and just drew on paper.

No one but us (Mark and me) had ever played Pictionary before (including the young ones), so we had a blast, laughing!

Unfortunately, we had to leave early because my husband gets headaches (and cranky) since his stroke with loud noise, but we a wonderful time!

Good food, good drinks, good company!

Thank you SO much, K and K, for inviting us to your beautiful, warm and inviting home! 😊