Thank You, SNL, for Keeping Us Laughing - Plus My Extraordinarily Bad Poetry, Entitled "Ode to Tucker Carlson" (HeHeHe ) ...

 (Edited - Tucker Carlson GIF added - the self-describing chyron  graphic actually appeared under Tucker while speaking, for just a few hilarious seconds, during his broadcast on Fox News in September 2021-  lol. 

Also, I corrected the reference in the explanation of this occurrence below -  (General) Mark Milley, not Mark Meadows

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One "weapon" we liberals have always had that Trumpites/Putinites don't is - a quick wit/sense of humor :)

Exhibit A - Saturday Night Live's cold open from this past Saturday Night ...

"The Fox News Ukrainian Invasion Celebration Spectacular  - Live from Mar-A-Lago !"

A telethon fundraiser for the real victims of this tragedy -  Russian Oligarchs - with your hosts, Tucker Carlson (Beck Bennett) and Laura Ingraham (Kate McKinnon)! 

LOLOLOLOL!

It's ALL gold, I can't stop laughing  - but here some highlights ...

Tucker:  "Laura, we're sending every Russian soldier a Fox News Care Package, and that includes a My Pillow, a six-month LifeLock Subscription, and 10 American Flag catheters ... let's take a quick break, and when we come back, we'll be giving away a free t-shirt." 

 

Laura:  "That's right, the front says "I Stormed the Capitol," and on the back it says, "This does not constitute an admission of guilt" ... "Oh, ho ... every time I laugh, an angel dies."

Trump:  "I know the whales, very popular with whales, I do great with whales. They come up to me on the beach and they say "Thank you, Mr. President" ... you know, their blowholes blasting away, 200, 300 feet in the air, it's how they salute me."

And his little song dedicated to Putin, "My Funny Valentine"  LOL!

Then Tucker peddling reverse mortgages ...

Tucker:  "Because this is Fox News, you can either send money or take out a reverse mortgage."

For those who don't get that last joke, here's why that last one is also horrific, sad, and funny, at the same time... 

A reverse mortgage is a predatory - but unfortunately legal and unrestricted (US and UK) -  Republican/Conservative-pushed additional home-equity mortgage loan, in which the loan is granted based on the equity value of your home, in order to free up cash flow - but it isn't repaid until you either move out of the home or die. 

After your death, the debt repayment then falls on your children/grandchildren to repay, and is also subject to variable/skyrocketing interest rates (except in Australia, where there's a cap on both amount you can borrow and interest).

In other words, the only people for whom these loans work are people with large life insurance payouts to their families after death and/or people whose children and/or grandchildren are already wealthy and/or will inherit a large estate.

However, both of these scenarios are unlikely - because if their children/grandchildren could afford to help them financially now  -  rather than taking an extremely risky bet on their own financial future,  plus interest - they would.

Also, if a large life-insurance policy payout is expected, typically,  those types of policies also have either an option to cancel and receive a "cash out" payment (a percentage back of what you've paid in on the policy) , or an option to borrow a loan with the life insurance agency based off of what you'd paid in already to the policy itself, in case of emergency; therefore, you wouldn't need to obtain a second, third or "reverse" mortgage for improved cash flow, the life-insurance policy itself could help.

Thus, the majority of people who end up getting these loans are then desperate, fixed-income-with-little-savings seniors and their middle-income children and/or grandchildren :/

Regardless, reverse-loan commercials are being heavily rotated predominantly on Fox News networks, being peddled by celebrity Republican actor, Tom Selleck, who literally says "trust me." 


(I'd sooner trust an Eastern Kentucky used car salesman.)

Well, gotta grab a laugh when and where you can, during this, right? 

And now, some extraordinarily bad poetry, I just wrote, that even Fox News viewers can understand ... (ahem) ...

ODE TO TUCKER CARLSON

Again - the graphic chyron touting "This Man is a Danger to The Country" under Tucker actually appeared - "accidentally" (and hilariously) - during his broadcast in September 2021.

He actually approved it - because he was referring to General Mark Milley - not realizing how it looked until he got a glimpse of it on the air, and it was quickly taken down LOL.

 

"Oh, Tucker, Dear Tucker 

You poor, ethically challenged mother @&#*er ...

 

What a travesty of truth, justice, and journalistic integrity you are 

Let us count the ways ...

Once kicked out of Swiss boarding school   

Then rejected by the CIA.

"Go into journalism, they'll take anybody," your father said 

Though you were fine living off of Daddy's bread 

Alas, now  facts and truth are dead 

In favor of your political prostitution instead"

Shall I continue my extraordinarily bad poetry and counting the ways?  ;)

No, I'll keep my day job, thanks lol