PPS - Will Smith/Chris Rock - And Yet, I Still Have Mixed Feelings - and BOTH Men Need to Apologize ...

There's talk of Will having his Oscar taken away now.

I do forgive Will Smith - this was reportedly so out of character for him, and at some point, you get tired of smiling and letting things roll off your back, while living in the fishbowl - BUT - actions do have consequences.

Then again, there should also be consequences to someone abusing their freedom of speech to publicly humiliate your wife - for a medical condition she cannot control -  in front of the entire world!

Clearly, I have mixed feelings about this - I can't stop thinking about it, what it means, what should be done.

Part of me feels proud that there are still chivalrous famous men who defend their wives (especially over a medical condition she has no control over) - whose love for others is greater than their love of themselves and their own fame -  to the degree that they're willing to sacrifice their own career and reputation for it.

And yet at the same time, the other part of me doesn't condone violence under any circumstances, especially at an event that is one of our most important cultural institutions.


Regardless, I can't help but find myself still feeling like the Oscars is now ruined :/

It was already on its last legs, but now, I fear it is dead.


To be honest with you, I think BOTH men should apologize - Will for slapping Chris, and Chris for taking such a low blow at Will's wife for an autoimmune condition she cannot control.

This is yet of further evidence of "freedom of "speech" is turning into a culture of meanness without consequence - and at some point, our words will have social consequences, if not legal ones.

(Later added - I am NOT saying their behavior is equivalent. I'm saying they both participated and behaved badly in different ways. I'm saying it's not like Chris Rock was standing there innocently minding his business, he joked about the physical manifestation of Will's wife medical condition that cannot be controlled, which already humiliates her.)

For me personally, this incident has hit me like a punch.

Because though I rarely watch the full thing anymore, the Oscars was my escape as a child.

In fact, it saved me as a creative, shy, weird kid growing up in an abusive, dysfunctional family - which, by the way, was all white.

It was an escape from all that violence and meanness in my home, and in the real world itself - and now it's not - does that make sense?

I know this is stupid, but in a world of chaos, as a child, the Oscars was like Spring itself - you could count on it regularly.


Of course I will forgive both of them, if they both apologize - but I wonder if the Oscars will ever be the same again - so I would like each of those men to think about how their actions may have helped give our culture of meanness and violence yet a further push past the point of no return :(


EXCEPT - if we find out the whole thing was staged -  which although I doubt, I still question, considering what Will Packer said on the red carpet beforehand (see two posts below) - and then in that case, all three men should be banned from Hollywood, I'm sorry.