Just an FYI, this plan was NOT mandated by federal, state, or even city government - this is just the school-system bureaucracy itself, making all kinds of strange decisions after our superintendent Manny's death in December.
A mass general email was sent out this morning - and no, I'm NOT kidding - by an assistant to an operations administrator, telling people that she was a "hugger" and really missed hugging people, and then asking for employee feedback on their comfort level with wearing different colored lanyards to identify if they:
1. Wear a GREEN lanyard to identify that they had been vaccinated and it was okay for you to hug, shake hands, or touch them.
2. Wear a YELLOW lanyard to identify that they had been vaccinated and it was okay to fist bump, but nothing else.
3. Wear a RED lanyard identifying that they had not been vaccinated and it was not okay to touch them.
What the ... are you freaking kidding me with that?
Is this some kind of social experiment or parody on SNL? LOL.
Alas, it was not - it's for real.
Seriously - was management on some kind of whack experimental COVID medicine or something, when they discussed this plan, then said, "Hey, this sounds like a great idea! Let's send it out to everybody for feedback!"
There are soooo many problems with that, I don't even know where to start?
Here are the first few off the top of my head:
1. Just because people are vaccinated doesn't mean they still shouldn't socially distance and wear masks - we still don't know who's in that 5% or if those vaccinated can still carry/transmit the virus after exposure to COVID, despite being immune themselves.
2. Why it always up to us powerless peons, male or female, to keep ourselves safe from/confront coworkers on their inability to keep their hands to themselves and an appropriate social distance for disease control?
Management just wants to go get popcorn while we duke it out or sue each other, or what?
3. Geez, why don't you just sew a gold star on the jackets of people who haven't been vaccinated, why don't you - as IF we're sure that keeps everybody safe long term and the vaccinated don't still transmit - and like it's still ever a good idea, in a me-too era, to be touchy/feely at work and get all up in faces?
Now, my husband said he wanted to give the feedback:
"How about I wear a purple one, which means 'I've been vaccinated, but if you don't still back the F--k up by 6 feet, you may find yourself black and blue!'"
But, ya know ... no? lol
So my husband asked me to find a diplomatic way to give a one-sentence summation feedback of our shared opinion of this absurdity, and how to best word his reply.
Thus, I dictated the following feedback, which he approved and sent:
"I feel that this plan is putting it on the employees to confront their coworkers on social distancing and will result in conflict."
PS - Regarding #2, I've been told the assistant that wrote this email is cute.
Dohkay, so let's say we go with her idea.
Let her wear the "Okay to Touch Me" green lanyard and let's see what happens lol.
Because - erm - it might complicate sexual harassment issues, to say the least?!?
Some guy grabs her boobs and defends himself by saying, "But ... but ... she was wearing a 'Go Ahead and Touch Me' green lanyard, so I thought it was okay!"
LOL ... sigh.
It's funny, but it's also ... not.
In fact, it wins the award for the dumbest idea that I have ever heard come out of the school system - and I've heard plenty of dumb ideas, believe me ;)
God, I miss Manny.
Did IQs drop while people were working at home or-?