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Saturday, May 21, 2022

My Husband's Integrity :)


I realized that in the two posts below, I made my husband sound like he's an angry person or something, when I promise you, he's not lol.

(Well, the first one was a dream anyway, which was actually hilarious :)

He's actually well beloved at work and reasonable - it's just he has zero tolerance for Trumper bullshit - and certain other triggers, as we all do.

However, the biggest reason I fell in love with him is his integrity - he will still do the right thing regardless, in the end :)

We both value integrity above nearly everything else, we have that in common.

So without giving too much private information away, how can I tell this story?

Actually, it's public knowledge and they've publicly admitted it, the school board knows, everybody - but I don't want to beat a dead horse out of empathy for those involved, those who effed up, because they know they did and are already paying for it.

So my husband changed departments where he worked two years ago, essentially because his prior boss just sort of ... checked out mentally, started partying more, etc ... and unofficially left all the management stuff to, well, a total A-hole.

Both men are Trumpers - BUT - his former boss was extremely kind and accommodating during Mark's stroke and I will never forget that, I will always be grateful for that - but he was really pissing us off, at the same time lol

Unfortunately, it came out that he got himself into trouble with a female coworker, whom he has since married, after divorcing his previous wife.

Additionally, the new woman was given - erm - special perks at work that others in the department didn't receive - which is what caused the trouble.

My husband was pissed about all of it - a pay raise and special perks for his love interest, essentially abandoning his job and leaving it to a raving lunatic, and especially for abandoning his wife - my husband cannot stand people that cheat on their spouses, it's one of his triggers, both because he's Catholic and because his ex-wife frequently did.

I'm not a fan of cheating either, of course, and I've never cheated on anyone in my life.  I'm a bit more relaxed about it because most of the time, there's already something wrong in the marriage before the cheating happens and one never knows what's going on in their marriage already.

IMO, in that case, then just be honest with the person that you don't want to be married anymore - don't lie and go behind their back - it's the lying and the public humiliation that hurt the most - but not everyone handles things that way.

Regardless, IMO, extramarital affairs are nobody else's business - unless - it affects work or the person receives perks the others don't get.  This situation did - and the part that bothered me, personally, the most. 

Now again - I haven't said anything that isn't common knowledge and that this person hasn't publicly admitted himself - and again, he's now married to her - and both have acknowledged their mistakes. 

HOWEVER, the institution pink-slipped just her -  despite the fact that she is now his wife. 

Mark's former boss received no consequences at all - just a slap on the wrist, despite the fact that he authorized the special perks for her.

They moved her temporarily to Mark's department until the year ends, but after that, her only options were to reapply, but only to food service or a bus driver, though she was formerly senior level in her field :(

We learned that she also was very ill with a medical issue she nearly died from this past winter.

So a new position came up in Mark's department - and Mark told his boss that she would be the perfect candidate for it :)

Thus, she interviewed for it, Mark and Mark's current boss put in a good word for her,  and  then they decided to approve it :)

In other words, even though Marks hates cheaters and Trumpers, was super pissed, he knows she is qualified and felt they had done her wrong, by penalizing just her, for the situation, but not touching the man in power.

So you see?

That's the kind of man my husband is - he will do the right thing regardless of his personal feelings, in the end :)

Both this man and his wife have thanked him profusely.

Former Boss: "Man, I know how you feel about this situation, so I was surprised you still did that for her ... for us.  You disapproved of all it, were really pissed at me, and yet you did it anyway to help us, in the end. So anything you need, just ask."


Mark:  "Yeah, I gotta be honest, I didn't care for you leaving your wife for her, but mostly, how that ended up affecting the workplace - but I feel like they penalized just her for something the both of you did and that's not right - just being honest.  

"Yeah, I was SO pissed off at you for basically leaving everything in his hands.  You just sort of checked out completely, I didn't recognize you anymore.  He's a lunatic, you know, I tried to tell you, but at the time, you wouldn't listen.  But I can't help but still like you, you know that.  We both saw some shit in combat and I get some of your stuff, but you went off the deep end, man." 

"Plus my wife constantly reminded me how good you were to us during my stroke and asked for a while to just give you more time to sort yourself out. Because very few people were around or asked us what we needed, even my own family -  but you did.  You asked what you could do for us and did it, during my lowest point in life, when few others did, even some in my own family. We've never forgotten that and never will - even when you piss us off lol" 

"And you and she both are super smart, when you're on your games, there's no better, man.  She didn't deserve to take all the blame and she's an educated and talented tech.  I mean, food service or bus driver? Come on, man, that was wrong of them."  


Former Boss:  "Yeah, I know.  And you're right, he's an asshole.  You tried to tell me, but he's really good at being duplicitous.  And I know I effed up. we're still paying for it.  And I trusted the wrong people to have my back, but they were all secretly using it to their advantage.  But I do love her, you know?" 

"We've always been able to be direct and frank with each other rather than bullshit.  It used to piss me off, but in the end, that's how I know this isn't another back-scratching game, you're for real, thanks, man.   Like I said, if you ever need a favor, I'm your man."


Mark:  "No need, just keep your head on straight, from now on, man, don't eff up again, because I can't help you then " 

Fences successfully mended :)

That's called integrity, folks - watch and learn from my husband :)

My motto used to be, "Exemplify the behavior you want Trumpers to emulate" and I still believe that, even though it has no effect - just because it's the right thing to do :)

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