Thursday, January 16, 2020

Why I Think the Peloton Marketing Director Has Serious Issues (LOL)

Speaking of sometimes disagreeing with women that I otherwise agree with, when too eager to get up in arms, without thinking things through fully  ... let's talk about the Peloton Lady commercial and other Peloton stereotyped and/or non-woke commercials lol.

(Not to mention that contrary to popular belief, being overly to get up in arms is a trait exclusive to women - i.e., Trump? ). 

Believe me, ladies, after some of my experiences, I understand hyper-vigilance better than anybody, especially in this political climate and culture, where we have re-sanctioned blaming women for everything again, wanting to burn women at the stake as witches based on suspicion alone, often for crimes considered 'no big deal' when a man does them, and/or ascribing the most dastardly motivations for everything we say and do, leaving men off scott-free for their behavior again (with women themselves, on both sides of politics, helping true power abusers misogynists out).  

Contrary to popular belief, these attitudes never actually left our culture, clearly - it's just now they're Trump-approved and on steroids again :/

I'm just saying, let's pick and choose our battles a bit better?

Because we can do ourselves and our equal pay/opportunity and #metoo causes a disservice by knee jerking/ jumping to conclusions  about every little thing simply because of gender, and 'should' perhaps still try to view each situation as an individual situation, listen to all the facts and consider all the possibilities first, for why people said/did what they did, and both sides of a story, regardless of gender? 

Because the last thing we'd need is to act like the jury race nullifers did,  in the OJ case, defending someone because of their race or gender - then have them turn right around and be a now-proven dangerous female OJ, that we've let loose in society, that we're now all responsible for - agreed? 

HOWEVER -  on the other side of things - people should listen to women's perspectives, because we do vote, and we might actually have a valid point -  even if you feel it's been overblown? 

Because for goodness sakes, Trump overblows and overreacts to things every single day, with even less validity, less proof, and less rationale,  and yet people still act his every word is gospel and as if this behavior is at all sane -  simply because he's white and has a penis (and money)? 

Tack on his supporters tend to lend blind trust and overall support for everything he does, based on just 1 or 2 issues alone - abortion and/or paranoia about (especially dark-skinned) people who believe differently from themselves ;)

Now, to my point ... which may at first seem unrelated, but bear with me ...

First, I whole-heartedly made fun of the original  Peloton ads beginning a couple of years ago.

I mean, seriously - Peloton bikes, which are around $2500 - were featured in ads geared towards the over-privileged, featuring people who clearly have time and money to burn, in that they apparently spend thousands of dollars to build a special platform (altar?) to their own workouts in their Mindfulness Zen garden  ...

(I mean ... doesn't everybody?) 

Or apparently make sure their bike is situated right by the window in your 360-degree glass panoramic penthouse, so that everyone in Manhattan can watch them work out on their Peloton ...

And here was the oddest one from that series (apparently this Twitter user also found it odd) ... 


I swear, I laughed for 10 minutes at the tagline meme lol.

Yeah, so  - that's when I personally started to actually raise an eyebrow - and apparently somebody else who found this ad odd, too. 

I mean, what is even going on, in that ad?

Is this a married couple and their weird way of spending quality time together? 

Is this some kind of bizarre fetish foreplay?

Or is this their first face-to-face meeting after matching on Tinder, but he's only agreed to go out with her after watching the full merchandise have a work out, before he agrees to pay for dinner? 

Why isn't he in sports gear, too, either ready to work out or has already worked out himself? 

Does he feel he needs to supervise her workout?  

Who IS that guy, anyway - Jeff Goldblum?

Under what circumstances would Jeff Goldblum ever just be sitting around some lady's  gentrified Brooklyn townhouse, while she works out?

Did Jeff agree to a cameo, but working out on camera would cost Peloton too much?

Or perhaps with all that money to burn, she pays Jeff Goldblum to watch her work out? ;)

LOL - just kidding, btw, that is NOT  Jeff Goldblum, it's an imposter! ;) 

(Just kidding again!  It's just a Jeff Goldblum look alike/wannabe, who gets Jeff's quirky style horribly wrong.)

Whoever he is, he's clearly not her trainer, because trainers work out with you and spot you when lifting, etc.  

Personal trainers should NOT be sitting on your couch, reading magazines, while you work out (and if they do, you should fire them immediately lol)

I don't know about you, but I don't dig exercising in front of people anyway, I'm not comfortable enough with myself - so what kind of OCD exhibitionist/narcissist does things like this - AND - what kind of an inconsiderate, selfish, controlling, fetish freak sits there reading a magazine, watching you sweat your arse off?   

Seriously, I mean, WTF is even going on and what kind of rich freaks live their lives like this and who could possibly relate to these ads? LOL

Having said that, I could totally see the portly billionaire, power abusing narcissist that is Trump, sitting there, flipping through an Archie comic book in one hand, quarter-pound cheeseburger in the other, ordering his already pencil-thin, beautiful wife, Melania, to peddle faster and work off a few extra Christmas pounds, or she'll make him look bad (as if he isn't doing a good job of this  all by himself, which people could see, if they could get over the he's white/has a penis/single-issue anti-abortion thing) -  can't you?

I mean, you could like, buy Puerto Rico and put a Peloton factory there and help that poor country out, for what you spent our your Peloton and pedestal?

So considering Peloton became the bud of jokes by those of us not in the top 1% of wealth (and who are also not exhibitionist narcissists or perhaps feel we  need men to supervise our workouts) ... 

... what does Peloton do?

The marketing manager apparently says to him/herself, "Hey, let's offer a financing program and make the commercials geared to making Peloton look more accessible for everybody."

Great idea!

But - erm - record scratch again.

Because then, there was first ill-fated commercial right before Christmas, featuring a young, already super-fit mother, is surprised by her husband with a Peloton for Christmas, which sparked the tongue-in-cheek #freethepelotonlady campaign ...

In all honesty, when I saw the commercial, I did think for 2 seconds, "That's odd. Who gets their wife a $2500 Peloton bike for Christmas, and what kind of passive-aggressive message is that?  'You're fat, start working out!?!'"  

However, this thought was followed immediately thereafter with:  "Well, okay, we don't know - maybe she asked for one? If so, they should've shown that part because it can otherwise be construed like some 1950s update version of buying your wife a vacuum cleaner or a full set of cookware and saying, 'Clean the house, cook better, and look better for me.'""

Then the commercial moves on to make it worse, with her saying she's nervous and this anxious face.

This begs both the questions of: "WHY is she selfie-ing before her first 6 a.m. workout  - because she thinks she needs to prove she did it?"  and "WHY is she nervous? She's just riding a bike in her own home?"

This clip, of course, sparking memes  like this ....

... or THIS (based on the film "Get Out") ...

If there are still men out there THAT clueless (this may or may not include Peloton's marketing manager), who really don't know what's wrong with buying those sorts of things as gifts for your wife - without her asking for them - might I suggest therapy? lol

The short version is - No.  Ya never want to buy "gifts" that say "You're my maid/cook" or "you're fat" for women - unless they ask for them.

This will not end well for you, in 2020, regardless of what political party she appears to supports.  

Because unless she's a true abuse victim (who either believe she deserves it or has no way out), there's no way she thinks this is okay. 

If she's a liberal, she'll most likely tell you in no uncertain terms exactly where to go, leave your butt, and tell you to keep your money, she doesn't need you, she'll figure it out by herself (or find someone else to share life with). 

If conservative, she'll most likely act like she's okay with your attitude, happy to spend your money, then patiently wait - either siphoning/hoarding away bits of money here and there in secret accounts until she can afford to leave you OR bide her time and clean your clock when she divorces you, years later -  so fast it'll make your head spin ;)

Not always, but as a general guideline - yes. 

Buy them something they want, or what THEY express that they need - not necessarily what YOU  think they need.  

Just think if  we bought you the Jenny Craig Weight Loss Program, for Christmas, instead of the collectible version of entire season of Game of Thrones on DVD that you wanted - get it now and see what we mean? ;)

Also, we are typically harder on ourselves about our bodies than you are, believe me - we really don't need your 'help' with this issue ;)

However, note the last meme above was written by a man, and that most men - including my husband - found the commercial odd and hilarious, too, and many chimed in on the fun on on social media (proving most men aren't that clueless) - and that this commercial makes both genders look bad, in the end, by clinging to old stereotypes. 

And then there's her half-hearted, sarcastic: "It's 6:00 a.m., yayyyyy," - didn't help. 

Apparently, she is getting up for her first ride, the day after Christmas, at 6 a.m. - while her husband presumably is sound asleep alongside her?

Spawning a female comedian's parody of the commercial later  - that I couldn't find on a quick search, as I only had a few minutes today) that  said something like, "Get your snoring, lazy, fat a*s up with me!  If I have to get up at 6 a.m. the day after Christmas to work out, then you at least have to get up! Especially after your snoring kept me awake all night!"

"And what kind of sociopath buys his wife a Peloton for Christmas without her asking for it, anyway?  I asked for a set of luggage (gee, I wonder why)?  Then makes me wake up at 6:00 a.m. and take selfies to prove I'm peddling at pell-mell speed, while you snore your fat a*s away in bed?"


Okay, otherwise, to be honest, I thought people got a little too much up in arms about this -  but the memes and parodies were hilarious.

And the good news of hope is - people on both sides of politics found the commercials odd, too.

The actress in the commercial was questioned as to her thoughts on the backlash - and she just blamed her face (???)

Regardless, all of the above backlash prompted actor Ryan Reynolds to hire the actress for his Aviation American gin commercial ... "To Happy Endings" ...

Okay, Peloton, do you see now why these are not wise marketing choices you're making that backfire on you?

Did you not run this past a focus group first? 

Because it really can easily be construed to make it look like her husband is controlling a-hole.  

Their ads leave too much to the imagination.

Had they started the commercial with a clip where she asked for the Peloton herself, but they didn't -  and commercial continues as it does - and thus the backlash.

So, what does Peloton do now?

Learn their lesson?

That would be a resounding no.

Because apparently, the marketing manager said to him/herself, "Hey, I know! Let's try to appear more accessible and 'woke' by featuring a black man in a more modest housethat inexplicably begins very dark and ominous, like a horror movie singing along with Lauryn Hill/The Fugees so intensely, while working out, that by the end, he has somehow transformed the playful lyrics into sounding like he's a maniacal stalker literally hunting someone down."

Way to perpetuate scary-black-male stereotypes, in this political climate, Peloton!

Seriously - time for a new marketing team and running these by diverse focus groups first lol"

Dear Marketing Manager at Peloton, 
Not too quick on the uptake with social cues, eh?   
Seriously  - please hire a marketing team who is not comprised of over-privileged, exhibitionist/narcissists, and perhaps consider running these spots by diverse focus groups first for reaction, before launching them?
The American People. 
PS - Considering you now have much competition, also consider coming down on your price by at least $1000 bucks :)

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