This is the kind of absurd sh*t that my husband and I playfully ponder to make each other laugh lol.
So yesterday, we had to go to Louisville for a mammogram (nothing to worry about, Lexington messed up my appointment and then couldn't get me in again until August, so I called the same health system in Louisville).
On the way back, we needed dog food and stopped at a Tractor Supply.
My husband loves Tractor Supply.
He could spend all day in there, despite the fact that we do not have a farm.
(we board a horse, and we have a dog, but that's about it lol)
And though we do buy Ivermectin there, it's for our horse for deworming - not for us - we're diehard vaxxers.
So he went in alone, as we do, during COVID, especially because though the staff wears masks, most of the people in that store are not vaccinated or wearing masks, plus I know he'd be in there for an hour at least, so I'd sit and read the book I brought in the car (which is Trevor Noah's "Born a Crime," if anyone's interested).
Thus, the absurd conversation began like this ...
Mark: "I love Tractor Supply, you know this. They have clothes, everything you need for your livestock and pets, seeds and plants so you can grow vegetables and flowers - all they need are guns and you could hole up in here forever, if you need to. All kinds of fun toys and stuff you could use to defend yourself or entertain yourself for hours, plus you could use the livestock medicinal stuff if injured. "
Me: "Okay, Mr. Former Army Ranger, but it'd take a while for those plants to grow, you still need actual food - but the only instant food they have is candy bars."
Mark: "F*** food, they have supplements and you can eat the plant stalks, you can even eat dirt if you have to, short term."
Me: "Okay, but since they do not actually have guns yet, what would you do during a zombie apocalypse - ride around after them on a riding lawnmower like, 'I'm coming to get you, Zombie - Die, Zombie, Die! Bzzzzz bzzzz ... hold on, I'll be there in a minute ... bzzzzz bzzzz?'"
Mark: "Lol. I'd put his head in the woodchipper, no more Mr. Zombie."
Me: "Yeah - because a zombie is going to willingly put their head in a running woodchipper for no apparent reason lol."
So this sparked more absurd discussion about where we would hole up if there was a zombie apocalypse.
Walmart was the best, most obvious choice, of course.
Okay, we have a love/hate relationship with Walmart, and yet if there was a zombie apocalypse, Walmart has everything you'd need ;) lol