Edited - content added - I went ahead and added the story here, as well, including new content with a happier story about my grandmother's bucket list and "The Dorothy Doll" :)
Work is slow today, lots of people on vacay, thus the reason for more posts today lol.
Getting serious, for a second, on this one - so skip it, if it's not your thing.
So I wrote a post a couple of days ago, the inspiration for which was watching an episode of Serengeti and how elephants handle birth, death, family, and community VS. us supposedly more highly-evolved humans - but I just added a personal story to it about my grandmother.
I hope many will read it - because it's a situation that many have dealt with, or will have to deal with, when a loved one with cancer - who is of sound mind - either refuses further cancer treatment or refuses to undergo any cancer treatment at all.
Do you legally force them to undergo it or comply with their wishes, if they're of sound mind?
The answer isn't so simple, is it?
Some things aren't as black and white, as we Christians especially try to make them - there are gray areas that aren't specifically addressed by the bible, and they don't fit into neat little boxes.
But the truth remains - that despite what WE think, feel, and believe, and our best daily protests, the decision to choose no treatment/no more treatment and hospice care/certain death - choosing to die on their own terms and with dignity - is still ultimately their decision (if the person is of sound mind) - and so it should be.
The added story/content to the original post ...
Granny: "There's a 50% chance they puncture my lung and I'll be in pain breathless."
Me: "But Granny - if you DON'T get it, it will grow, and then there's a 100% chance you will DEFINITELY be breathless and in pain at some point?!?
I begged her. I pleaded with her. Daily.
But she refused.
When it grew, as we knew it would, she asked to have the surgery done then, but they told her it was too late :(
At that point, she chose hospice care rather than undergoing any sort of chemo or radiation treatment.
I realized at that point - "If this is the way she wants to go out, on her terms and with dignity, rather than chemo weakening and sickening her further, then she should have it, despite what I think."
But to this day, I ask myself: "Could and should I have legally forced my grandmother to have more treatment, or did I do the right thing abiding by her wishes?"
Not helping is when the rest of the family is nowhere around - so they blame you for not forcing more treatment :/
Then again, people want someone to blame, when someone dies, and they say insane stuff out of grief - especially in my family.
I figure God and my grandmother know the truth - and that's good enough for me - she chose not to have more treatment, and despite my daily protests, I realized it was ultimately her decision, how her life would end - on her own terms and with dignity - and I honored that decision.
The first thing on her bucket list was having all of the Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz dolls that McDonald's was giving away with Happy Meals, at that time (2007) :)
Granny (wringing her hands, frantic) : "Where's Dorothy? WHERE IS DOROTHY? Why can't we get Dorothy? Please find Dorothy. Please. God, please help us find Dorothy, just do this one thing? Do whatever it takes, Chrystal - just find her."
Me: "I'm trying! Okay, Granny, sheesh, what is the big freakin' deal with finding Dorothy? I'm doing my best. "
I got his phone number at the new church where he worked - and then she asked ME to confront him for her?!?
However, no worries about the things said to me by my family, during that time, and in general - since we unfortunately are NOT elephants, I've found my life is so much better, since I distanced myself from my toxic, extremely dysfunctional, band-of-unevolved-chimps family, years ago :)