So I was just rereading the posts I'd written about Marian's death here. Though pretty raw and heavy (especially the first one), I gotta say, they were extremely helpful and therapeutic for to me to write. I am also in hopes that it will be helpful to others who might feel similarly, but do not want to burden others also grieving with their own grief, so that they will know they're not alone.
Grief comes with a range of emotions, all very normal, that are to be expressed and then let pass without taking action, like a wave washing over you - and if you don't, those emotions will come back make themselves known later and become louder and louder, often at the most inopportune times, until you properly deal with them :)
Thus, I will not be deleting a word of it - and am resisting the urge to apologize for subjecting anyone to it - because anything said here was written as simply expression of the range of emotions that come with grief - confusion, sadness, anger - and nothing more.
At present, the family choose cremation, which causes delay in not only a memorial service, but an obituary.
Until then, I am choosing to focus on welcoming new life into the world, my friend just having given birth to a new baby boy, and I'm getting a new puppy next week :)
Thus, as Marian always said, "God's Peace" :)