Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Happy Halloween, But ... "No One Will Save You” Muwhahahaha! 💀👻 👽🎃😉

So my title is referring to a Huluween movie (meaning a Hulu original film) called "No One Will Save You," phrased that way just to sound spooky - see what I did there? 😛

So let me just preface what I'm about to say with what I've said before; there are only two things I'm snobby about/look down on - film and architecture.  

That's because I figure if you have the money to do either, do them right - don't just be throwing sh*t up in our faces, assaulting our senses, just to make a buck. 😏

So the movie was definitely NOT in my title because it's necessarily a recommendation.  

Well, it could have been a recommendation, and an awesome one at that - but it so was not - unless you like those "create/interpret your own ending" movies?

I ... do not 😒

Now, I am NOT talking about movies with ambiguous endings, where you don't know, but you do know - movies that don't explicitly spell it out, but you can make some safe assumptions, at least for now.

You know, movies like "The Shining" or "Donnie Darko"   which I actually consider among the best - where someone died, meaning others lived as a result, or even that you find out the main character's  perception isn't reliable, (again, Donnie Darko or Black Swan).

Or like in less horror-genre examples, people decided to go their separate ways, at least for now, but you can hope for the future, or you can safely assume that they got back together or at least are going to give it another try?

No, I'm talking instead about movie endings where you have to interpret an ending that could have several meanings, or you literally have to create your own ending, because they left you THAT clueless.

Movies where you just spent the last 2 hours getting into this movie and caring about the characters, only at the end of those 2 hours, you find yourself saying, to yourself and others around you, "I honest-to-God do not know WTF just happened" -  so you just sit there, like confused. 😂

Because you know you could never get away with that sh*t in a book. At least they give you some indication to make assumptions with.  And some things in books can be left up to artistic interpretation or discussion, but books still have definite endings, even if just leaves you with assumptions.

So how are these "create/interpret your own ending" screenplays  even written, do they literally just say "(Insert Your Own Ending Here)," or does it read something like "Sam looks out the window, then up into the sky, when a look of excited surprise crosses her face?" 😆

Now, you know dang well, if a book ever ended like that, you would go "AND?!?"  

You'd think it wasn't finished, and get all frustrated, having wasted time, right?  

Regardless, ever since the movie "Birdman," which is one of the few films that did this "interpret the ending yourself/create your own ending" fairly well (but it still bugged me) ...

... lots of films started doing this, and not nearly as well.

So it being Halloween, Mark and I recently watched the Hulu original movie, "No One Will Save You,"  because it had an 82% critics' rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and I tend to agree with the critics more than the audience score (and if both scores are high, it's a hit and usually worth the watch and the money.)

Not that we won't watch bad horror movies on Halloween, that's kind of the point, but we were in the mood for something truly spooky.

And thus movie had well-deserved praise, truly scary - until the end.

I haven't a clue what that ending was supposed to mean - and it really bugged me lol.  I kept tossing the possibilities around in my head, ultimately landing on nothing definitive, which bothered me immensely, like "It could mean THIS, but it could also mean THAT."

That is not fun for me, that's maddening.  You can speculate all night with your family and friends, and you'll still never know.

I mean, I get it that visual art is always open to interpretation, but you just told me a literal story for the last 2 hours, then abruptly stopped - so the "but it's art, art is open for interpretation" excuse isn't gonna fly here sorry.

Thus, I hereby am renaming this movie, "No One Will Save This Movie."

I don't know why critics love movie endings like this, pronouncing them brilliant, I truly don't.   

IMO, it's not brilliant, it's just ... lazy. 😆

To me, it's even lazier than wrapping up a movie whirlwind fast because you: A) Couldn't figure out how to end it properly, B) ran out of budget, or C) you ran out of time, resulting in leaving ends untied and unanswered questions; not because you were hoping for a sequel, but because you just thought we were either too stupid or too attention-deficient to notice, or you lost the plot and forgot about certain parts of the story yourself lol.

So let me get this straight - you just charged me anywhere from $5.99 to $12.50 - all at once or via subscription - and I just invested 2 hours of my time  in your story, only to not know WTF really happened at the end of that 2 hours  - either because you didn't know how to end it, or you were too lazy?

Therefore, you oughtta pay ME to for having to write an ending for you?  


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