Ode to Tori Amos: Silent All These Years ...

I wandered over to my dear friend Cherie's Place in the UK, this morning, and one of her posts reminded of a song by Tori Amos, in a round about sort of way, with the way my weird brain works lol.

Her posts were actually about her recent travels to Gloucester - which I asked and learned is pronounced "GLOSSter" in the UK, by the way.

As her thought for the week, though, she had posted a picture of a plaque she saw there about things not to flush down the toilet, which including your hopes and dreams. Then somebody commented and asked where we should put them then? lol.

I was reminded of this old Tori Amos song, "Silent All These Years," which I'd completely forgotten about.  And Tori just sort of disappeared, where did she go? 

Classically-trained pianist, controversial lyrics at times.

For example, her song, "Me and a Gun" was her true story about being raped and wishing she'd had a gun, at the time. 

Men went nuts over it, so did anti-gun advocates -  but let me tell you something - if you're ever raped, at least in that moment, you'll wish you had a gun, too -  even liberals like us ;)

But it was "Silent All These Years" in particular that struck a chord with me, at that time - because it's about being a young adult, but still having to live with a dysfunctional family because of finances, feeling stuck, unheard. Troubled relationships with mothers, overly religious and not, and screaming back only makes it worse.  Wondering if you'll ever escape the dysfunction, and find your own voice.

I'm this she's referring to herself on the "so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts" - either that or her ex's new girlfriend - but clearly, but they still remain each other's best friends and confidantes, having bonded over their mothers lol  :)

So I misremembered the lyrics as:   

"My DREAM got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where some DREAMS have gone?
I got twenty-five bucks an' a cracker
Do you think it's enough to get us there"

But the lyrics are actually:

"My SCREAM got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where some SCREAMS have gone?
I got twenty-five bucks an' a cracker
Do you think it's enough to get us there"

Here are the full lyrics: 

Excuse me, but can I be you for a while?
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the Anti-Christ in the kitchen, yellin' at me again
Yeah, I can hear that 

Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say, you know, but nothing comes
Yes, I know what you think of me, you never shut up
Yeah, I can hear that 

But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes, I said sometimes, I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these years 

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts? 

Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon
How's THAT thought for you? (LOL)

My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I got twenty-five bucks an' a cracker
Do you think it's enough to get us there 

'Cause what if I'm a mermaid,
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes, I said sometimes, I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these 

Years go by, will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand?
Years go by, if I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by, will I choke on my tears
'Til, finally there is nothing left?

One more casualty, you know we're too easy, easy, easy

Well, I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
But, baby, don't look up, the sky is falling 

Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
Hmm, it's YOUR turn now to stand where I stand 

Everybody lookin' at you ... here, take hold of my hand ...
Yeah, I can hear them 

But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of yours with her name still on it
Hey, but I don't care
'Cause sometimes, I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice, I hear my voice, and it's been here
Silent all these years
I've been here
Silent all these years
Silent all these
Silent all these years

 Oh, well, either way, perhaps dreams and screams do go to heaven?

And the happy ending to my story, at least, is - I did finally escape the dysfunction and find my voice, in the end :)