Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Fun With Scam Callers


Now, iPhones now alert you to spam and telemarketing, but it doesn't get them all.  Today, I was waiting on my doctor to call me back, and they sometimes call from their private lines, so I answered an unknown number - and of course it wasn't my doctor. 

Guy:  "Hi, this is Dan, am I speaking with Chrystal Chaplow?


Me:  "Yes.  But I was expecting a call from my doctor.  This doesn't sound like my doctor, unless you're a medical assistant?"


Guy:  "No, it's not your doctor's office, but I am calling with good news - you've won $3.8 million from Publisher's Clearing House!"


Me:  "Really? That's amazing - especially because I never entered the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes!" 

"Listen, "Dan" ... I'm waiting on a call from my doctor, so I need to go-"


Guy:  "Well, you'll want to hear this, your doctor can wait.  We can send you $3.8 million right now."


Me:  "Dude - I'm pretty sure I just told you I'm waiting on an important call from my doctor and need to go, but you want to persist in telling me that I magically won $3.8 million, from a sweepstakes I've never entered."

 "So if that's true, then either send Marie Osmond or Brad Paisley to my house with the famous giant check and balloons, write me a prescription for Cipro for my UTI,  or hang up, because I'm sure as hell not giving you my bank account number to direct deposit this magic check in, which I'm sure was your next question-"



Hehehe - ain't I a stinkah? 

I really hate being rude to anyone, but I also love messing with scammers, for my own amusement, I can't help myself - because, I mean, they really are the scum of the earth.

I've even been know to say things like this, if they persist:

Me:  "So ... what are you wearing?"

Guy:  "I'm ... sorry?"

Me:  "You heard me.  Are you into cosplay or furries?  Oooh, tell me you're in a giant panda suit, that's hot ..." 


Hehehe - that usually does it, if all else fails! 

However, already not feeling well today, snark was the best I could muster.

But laughter is the best medicine :) 

But seriously - are people really dumb enough to fall for that stuff?

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