PS x 2 - Clarification

 (*Edit complete.)

In the post below, I briefly mentioned the last time I experienced that "speechless" trauma reaction was briefly after a threat my sister made in 2012, just 2 weeks before my daughter's graduation, without going in to detail. 

Then I realized that information may be a surprise to some, forgetting that only myself, Mark, Mom, and Kim even knew about  it. 

But I'm going to disclose that detail now, because this truth is about 14 years overdue.

So as mentioned a few posts ago, I signed off on my grandmother's estate to prove I wasn't after money - I just wanted to be her primary caretaker and with her the moment she closed her eyes.

(For the record, we had moved in with my grandmother 1 year prior, after leaving my ex-husband and Domestic Violence was helping me divorce him. My grandmother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer 6 months later. I had worked at home as a medical transcriptionist for the same company since 2000, until the company I worked for outsourced all work to India in May of 2006, when I began to work locally until this happened.)

I also mentioned that I moved out of my grandmother's house after my older sister (Kim) called and threatened me with calling the sheriff, fearing I'd change my mind and claim "squatter's rights" later - and I never told my grandmother why, which would've put her in the middle, when she was dying of cancer.

Now - what I didn't mention is, though I signed off on the estate, my grandmother insisted that a special provision be added to the will in order for her to gift me her old 1993 Chevy Lumina, because I didn't have a car to move out or get to work.

(Remember, at the time, Kim had lied to her and told her I'd abandoned her, rather than the truth - which Granny had semi figured out herself, by then, or at least that something was off with Kim's story.)

Regardless, I took that legally gifted 15-year-old car worth about $3,500 and moved us to Northern Kentucky to be near McKenna's Dad to help out.

Fast forward to 2012 - I hadn't heard a peep from Kim in 3 years, when she dropped off a box of my stuff at my apartment that I left at Granny's 2 years prior.

My mom called me in May 2012, saying that Kim had her call, she needed my address - saying that if I didn't help her pay taxes on the estate because of the old 1993 car that Granny had legally gifted me - the same estate I signed off all rights to, mind you - I could go to jail.

She said Kim  needed my address to send me the paperwork, and I 'd better sign it and send it back or bring it with me to McKenna's graduation.

My mom seemed somewhat scared by this, but also strangely smug  at times. 

I also thought it was strange my Mom would call me at all, since the last time I heard from her was the prior fall, when she had a psychotic break and blamed ME for it, rather than the fact that she had ripped herself off her meds after feeling better, believing God healed her.

I had her on speaker phone and Mark heard everything - and his mouth dropped open. That was his first experience with my family.

He mouthed "Bullshit."

So I said I needed a minute to call an accountant and a lawyer before I gave my address to them, because I don't think this is legally possible.

Then I had the trauma reaction I mentioned in the post below.

After I pulled myself together, Mark called his Detroit attorney (Chuck), who said:

"Okay, so the old 1993 beat-up Lumina was left to Chrystal under special provision by her grandmother, despite Chrystal signing herself off on any right to the estate, correct? " 

"And I assume a car of that year was valued at less than $10,000, correct? Okay, has she paid yearly taxes on the car? All good there." 

"And then she junked it in 2010 for $200 and has the receipt and copy of the title transfer? Good there too."

"So since she was not a primary beneficiary of the will, having signed off any right to the estate, and the gifted car valued at  less than $10,0000, then junked for $200 - then she's fine, and she is definitely NOT responsible for paying 1 penny of the estate taxes." 

"And even if she WAS - which she is not -  NOBODY is going to jail over it, it's a civil matter lol. " 

"Now, I don't know either of them - but what the sister is threatening isn't even legally possible - so it sounds to me like this sister is trying to bully her sister into helping her pay estate taxes - the same estate she bullied her into signing off all rights to."  

"But here's the thing -  when did all this happen, 2007?  So the sister has been paying property, estate, and inheritance taxes  out of the estate funds for the last 5 years - so why now, all of the sudden?" 

"What's going on now that she's suddenly making threats again? That's what I'd be asking myself if I were Chrystal - what else is this bitch hiding?"

And the answer to THAT is, my daughter was graduating in 2 weeks - Kim was trying to to bully/terrorize me out of attending my own daughter's graduation, so she could twist it to look like I didn't care, like she did when Granny died.

So I called my mom and said:

"Um, as I suspected, Mark's attorney says there's no way this is even possible, and definitely, no one can go to jail over it, this is a civil matter." 

"And even though she doesn't have the balls to call me directly and manipulates you or Ruthie to do her dirty work - and you HAD to know something was wrong with this bogus story, only an idiot wouldn't , and you're no idiot  - here's my address anyway." 

"But yes -  PLEASE go ahead send me whatever BS Kim's drawn up herself, acting like the estate attorney advised it, so that I can take it to Mark's pitbull of an attorney with no conscience in Detroit. We'll all have a good laugh in actual court of law about it, this go 'round."

"Oh, and Zack should plan on being be there, too. We can talk about how this family estate  drama played right into his hands .We can subpoena state child support agents that spoke with him, as well as school officials as witnesses." 

"It'll be one of Zack and Kim's big fat greedy parental alienation parties together - only I'll be there, this time, and the only one having fun! Who knows, I might even change my mind and contest the will after all"

"Nice  try, but that's a fail - I'm not alone,unable to afford an attorney and broke, and broken anymore - and I WILL be at McKenna's graduation.🙂" 

"And I won't be telling McKenna about this and ruining her graduation myself - so make that a fail x2 - EPIC fail."

 "But send Kim my love anyway - and tell her I'm really proud of the sister and person she's become -  not at all worse than either of our parents ever even thought about being combined!🙂"

My mom muttered something about my not having to be so sarcastic and "nasty" about it, how sensitive I was, then sheepishly said she didn't know (but her tone said otherwise), that's what Kim told her -  Kim must've just misunderstood and was confused, she didn't do it on purpose, how much stress Kim is under, "taking care of so much," blah, blah, blah.

I just hung up on her, I admit it lol.

Nothing came in the mail.

No police called and no jail.

Most importantly, my daughter's graduation went off without a hitch - and she was none the wiser that any of that had happened.

I never told her about it - until now, 14 years later, when I wrote this.

And THAT, Ladies and Gentleman, is the last time my older sister ever threatened me - directly or through anyone else - and the last time I had a temporary "speechless" trauma reaction - but then came out of it with a vengeance 😂

I strongly suspect she's done way worse out of desperation, trying to convince other family members of BS, but I have no proof, other than those 2 incidents I've mentioned - and quite frankly, I don't think I want to know lol.

She tried her best to not only break me, but erase me from family history - and for what?

What a hollow victory it must be.

Because the farm is gone, the estate money is gone, and she ran off to Norway, cutting all contact with them, leaving all physical and emotional care of my mom with Ruthie -  just like she did with Granny and me at first - and just as I predicted she would.

And yet despite the shame of initially letting her bully me, but finally standing up to her in 2012, you know what I'm actually proud of? 

That I did not catch her bitter-bitch disease. 

I still love, laugh, trust, find the positive in people and find joy - she can't steal THAT from me -  unless I let her. 

Though the most painful experience of my life - and still makes me mad sometimes (like now) - I can honestly say I don't hate her like she hates me - because then I will have become her.

I understand why she's the way she is better than anybody, and I have empathy for her still, actually - I just don't make excuses for her anymore, especially after what she's done.

But most importantly, I survived - I'm actually better than I ever was before.

I wouldn't say stronger, but I'm better than I ever have been.

True -  all I have left of my grandmother and family are precious memories, I don't even have pictures  - but to me, memories are worth more than gold. Or family estates - and she can't steal memories from me, either. 

The rest is just stuff - but will she ever realize that?