PS x 2 ... The Voice of The Good Shepherd VS. The Hired Hand

*Edited, content and personal picture added.

After the video played in the post below, Madonna's "Like a Prayer" played next for some reason - the video in which she speaks up for the oppressed and wrongfully accused along racial lines, as she believes this is what Christ would do.

Though never a huge Madonna fan, I DO like this song, it makes me smile, sing, and dance immediately. And I DO love a good gospel choir 😊

She wasn't exactly a social justice warrior, but I did admire her method of including marginalized groups and bringing issues to the forefront of her videos.

Yes, parts of the video are controversial and it's Madonna - but the overall message - Madonna was speaking out for social justice way back when, as she believes Jesus would.

Now, the actual song "Like A Prayer" is about feeling God's love through voice - not God speaking directly to you, but through the voices of the people you love and love you.

Well, some people claim God speaks directly to them, but in this instance, she doesn't mean literally, she means through the people you love.

But in the video, through things which are overly coincidental, like running into a church for guidance, and the statue of Jesus looking just like the falsely accused man.

Or like an old song you haven't heard in years, playing at just the right time.  

Or a particular picture falls out of an old album.

Things that make you look up and go "Um ... was that you? Nah."

(The "you" in that sentence can mean God, a loved one who has passed on, or both -  take your pick 🙂)

As for me,  I have never heard God or Christ's actual voice speak to me, as many Christians claim they can.

Some might say it's lack of faith or not having the right kind of faith  or I wasn't "chosen" -  but even when I followed their charismatic way, growing up, I couldn't literally hear him, either out loud or "in my thoughts." 

Plus the people that said they could often contradicted each other and fought over it?

Others might say that that's a good thing - it means I lack mental illness!

Well, at least in a hallucinatory way - God knows I have my anxiety and trauma issues, though lol.

Even those "psychic" moments I had, when younger, I didn't literally hear or see anything, it was internal -  like in my dreams or upon just waking up.   Or if awake, it was in my "mind's eye" like trying to remember a dream, but only if I tuned out everything else/tuned into it. Or sometimes if I had a fever lol.

So no, I was never Teresa Caputo, walking down the street and accosting people with messages from passed-away loved ones because these people were "breaking through" or anything  😂 

This "ability" did lie along those lines, though - past loved one communication - never anything really useful like or solving crimes or finding lost items. 

Well, I did have a hunch about the derby a few times and won, but the only lost items I ever found were a gas cap to the lawnmower and my daughter's soccer jersey.  😂

In fact, that day in particular, for some reason, it was super strong. I just knew I could tap in fairly easily versus other days, where it took more effort. 

So I just got quiet and looked in my mind's eye. I "saw" (internally) the gas cap roll under a chest of drawers in the garage. I saw my grandmother folding and putting my daughter's soccer shirt in the 3rd drawer down in a chest of drawers at her house. Again, it's like remembering a dream.

Sure enough, when my now exhusband went to the garage and checked, the gas cap was exactly where I had "seen" it roll, and a quick call to my grandmother let us know my daughter had indeed left her soccer jersey there, and my grandma had indeed just folded it and put it in the 3rd drawer down in a chest of drawers.

All this happened to be Kentucky Derby Day, that year, so my exhusband got all excited and said: 

"You're on fire today!  Okay, who wins the derby?" 😂

Me: "Okay, I don't usually get stuff like that, you know that. I guess I could ask somebody (passed on) but it's almost rude because that's not why they're here. And remember, I can't literally hear anything. Tuning in is like remembering a dream, or like trying to read with bad vision and not wearing your glasses lol."  

"They usually don't answer future questions or answer life-decision questions unless you're in danger - your life decisions are yours to make, the future could change based on choices, and the point of them being there is not as your personal fortune teller, they just want to let you know they're still near, especially when life gets hard or you're thinking of them or they are thinking of you." 

"So usually if I ask stuff like that, they just sit there silent, smiling at me 😂. Even if they do, it's never a direct answer, it's playful, like in riddles for me to figure out and I still have to guess the riddle right." 

"I think there are rules, like they're not supposed to give a direct answer to future stuff like that, especially regarding money, so it's really kind of rude to even ask."  

"But today does appear to be strong for some reason, somebody appears to be nearby and wanting to communicate, so who do you want me to ask, your uncle? "Okay ... Hi, Uncle X.  I'm assuming that's you helping us out today? Thank you! So ... this is stupid ... and I'm sorry about this rude question, because I know the rules, but ... J would like to know if you can tell us who wins the derby today somehow?"  

"Okay, surprisingly, I think he's showing me the letter F, I think?  I guess that could be an R he's showing me, but I really think it's an F. Yeah, he's nodding his head yes, VERY excitedly, and smiling when I say F, so yeah, some horse that starts with an F. Thank you, Uncle X! I know that's really bending the rules for us, so appreciate it!" 

 

Ex-Hubby: "Okay, so there's no horses that start with R today and the only horse that starts with an F is Funny Cide at 50-1. Winning the derby as a long shot, with odds like that, is extremely rare, so it CAN'T be an F he's showing you. Yeah, either that's not an F or the fire is out now."

But it WAS Funny Cide - and had he bet on that long-shot, we would've won about $12,000 that year!

Regardless, I usually had to be asleep, just waking up, have a fever, or really tune in if awake. 

I use the past tense because this is an ability which, by the way, seems to have almost completely disappeared after menopause. 😂

You lose a lot of good sh*t with menopause and loss of estrogen - your hair, your skin elasticity and moisture, your entire pelvic floor, your libido, your cardiovascular protection, your immune protection, your reproductive-cancer protection, and your ... psychic ability? 😂

But seriously, I've tried and it's just not there anymore. Sure, it's nice not having a period, cramps, and PMS anymore, but with all the good stuff above that you lose, I would gladly trade back for having a period again 😃

But back to the point (finally) - sometimes it does feel like God's love coming through the faces and voices of the  people we love and who love us, though, doesn't it? 🥰

Now, also, as mentioned previously, I've been confused/struggling in my faith for a while, but especially the last 2 years, after my "spiritual mom" - my mom when my mom couldn't be, Marian -  was killed by a drunk driver in 2023, on a Sunday, driving home from church.

Though a flawed human like everyone else, and we didn't agree on everything, there was no one I've ever known who more embodied the compassion of Christ or who was more devoted to Christ than Marian.  She topped even my grandmother!

And yet she was mistreated by her husband, often underappreciated by her kids, and struggled financially, and just landed a good paying job doing what she's wanted to do again for years, as a music teacher and Director of Child Care at a local church   - and then she's killed by a drunk driver just before starting that job, while he walks away without a scratch. 😢

All that devotion and dedication, all that compassion for others, all those prayers for protection, all that faith and hope - for what?

None of it mattered.  

In fact, she was the last "psychic/spiritual moment" I had was 2 years ago, right after Marian died, and I went and got Ziggy. I was thinking of her and wishing she could see him.

Right at that moment, I looked down at my shoe - and this was stuck to it ... 

In case you can't tell what it is, is a silver cross earring that had somehow stuck to my running shoe - and it wasn't mine. 

God only knows how long it was stuck there, that day, but I didn't notice it until I sat down in the grass and said aloud, to the sky, to Marian, that I missed her and wished she was there to see Ziggy, how much she would've loved him.

When I saw it, I gasped, then looked up and said "Okay, that's weird timing. Is that you? Nah, that's ridiculous.  Wait, was it?"

Then I was thinking in the off-chance it WAS her, rather than coincidence, that'd be exactly like her in life ... leave you some little inspirational gift or scripture verse in some random place, like your your bathroom, then giggle when you found it, figured out it was her, and said "Did you...  leave some scented soap with a scripture verse on it in my bathroom for me?" 🥲

Regardless, that was the very last spiritual "moment" I've ever had.

I tried "tuning in" but she wasn't there - in fact, nobody was there anymore - not Marian, not my grandparents, not Mark's parents or grandparents or old Army buddies - no one was there anymore, or at least I couldn't sense them anymore. 

Who knows why - I jokingly say menopause, or it maybe it's struggling in my faith, or maybe I abused it asking stuff like that, or maybe it's just we're okay now and need less hand-holding - or maybe it never was and I was just a really good guesser? 😂

I don't know, though, some people and stuff I couldn't have possibly known or known about.

Like my exhusband's uncle, the first time I tuned into him, his eyes were grayed out, and he was wearing a dark brown fedora with a feather. That usually means something was wrong with that part of the body, either they pantomime it or it's disfigured in some way. 

J said he died of brain cancer but wasn't blind, at least he didn't think so.

J called his mom, who rushed right over.  Turns out he DID go blind from metastacized brain tumors putting pressure on his optic nerves, 3 weeks before he died; in fact, they had to put one-month old J in his arms to hold him because he couldn't see him.  

Then she opened up a plastic bag that she had brought with her, containing a hat that belonged his uncle, which she kept in her closet - a brown fedora with a feather. 

Neither J nor I had ever seen that hat.

Let's put in this way - rummaging around in his mother's private closet would've been a very, very bad idea, and we wouldn't want to know about most of what was in there 😂

Regardless, this, like Marian, is gone - but yes, I DO still have that earring in a box 🥰

Regardless, I feel like I still know it in my conscience and soul when something is or isn't the right thing to do, despite what other Christians say.

And unfortunately, I think we all, as humans, Christians or not, at some point in our lives have stepped right over that right thing to do in favor of what we want to do at times, justifying it.

However, today's Christians step over both Christ's words AND societal or constitutional law so much, and justify it, that I sometimes wonder who their master actually is, but I guess they might wonder the same about me. 😂

So who is following the true "voice" of Good Shepherd and who is following the hired hand (see below scripture) ?

Them ... or me?

Well, I cannot judge who is actually following Christ or not, I don't know their soul. 

However, Christ does say we will know them by the fruits of their labor and that fruit tastes spoiled, bitter, and just plain nasty!

And let me say this ...  

I do not idolize or follow blindly any human without question, accepting every word out any leader's mouth, especially any politician, as gospel truth or as God's chosen, like other Christians do Trump.

In fact, they're starting to quote Trump more than Jesus!

No - the only Good Shepherd is Christ - Trump is the hired hand (though I certainly didn't hire him!)

I cannot hear my master's voice in a single word Trump says - in fact, his voice/message disturbs my soul.

So to me, his voice/message is worse than a hired hand - I hear a wolf in sheep's clothing instead.

Who but a wolf would deceive, falsely accuse, and arrest or order physical attack on the flock they lead and claim to care for, just because they disagree with him?

John 10:11-16

11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.  

14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.