My Mother's Favorite Birthday Gift ...

 

Well, it was one of 2 birthday gifts, but she liked this one best :)

So my mother turned 80, the other day, and I gave her a necklace just like this one, only it was silver ...

It's actually a lot more delicate-looking in person, looking something like this ...

That isn't her, of course, that's an ad photo, but I do have a picture of her wearing it, in which she looks beautiful, but will not share it for privacy.

She loved it!

In case you can't read the inscription, it is Proverbs 33:25

 

"She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

Love that verse, for her, and for all women :)

 If you're interested in this necklace, or similar religious-themed jewelry, you can find Vicki on Etsy at "FromTheEmeraldCoast"  

 It's now actually on sale today, by the way, if you're interested - lots of sales going on everywhere, to compete with Amazon Prime Day!

Ziggy Pug's Head -Tilt Reaction to Watching Pug Videos, Dancing to Morris Day and The Time, and Playing Patty Cake with Mom :)

 Ziggy taking note of bad pug behavior from pug videos on YouTube ...

Or as I now call it, PBO (Pug Box Office).  Are there any pug parental controls? 

Yeah, speaking of which - pardon the voiceover cursing in the clip of the pug stuck in the doggy door lol - the voiceover says (speaking for the pug stuck in the doggy door):  "I'm so ...effing sick of being ... g-damn fat!" 

I didn't expect that when I started filming Ziggy watching the videos  - and yet it IS hilarious (note Mark and me cracking up in the background).

Note Ziggy's pug head tilt to it!

LOLOLOL!!!

________________________________

*BONUS *

Just some clips I've taken of him over the past week ...

My current favorite video, Ziggy dancing "The Bird," with Morris Day and The Time :)

My favorite part is throwing up his paws on the "Bawk! Hallelujah" part LOL

And likely the cutest video of him I've taken yet, as far as cuteness factor ... 

Playing patty cake with Mom ...

Forgive the toys strewn about in the background.  He's not spoiled, noooo! ;)

Precious, precious baby ... he's my joy :)

PS - Screen Shots of My Last 2 Emails To This Person - Requesting No More Contact - Dated December 28, 2022 ...

Considering I have received 7 emails over the past week, 5 of them threatening a lawsuit, by a member of our "new family" (after I took a DNA test for them, at my expense, to help solve a family mystery, but became uncomfortable with them and cut ties),  I am posting the last two emails I have to this person from December 28, 2022, in which I asked for no more contact (circled in red).

I am not sharing this person's emails publicly because I don't have her permission - I am only sharing my last two replies to her, dated December 28, 2022 - asking,  then begging for her to stop contacting me - then finally telling her that she was blocked from email and phone permanently - because yes, she was literally starting to scare me.

And yet she continues to contact me, now making legal threats. (Blocked Gmail goes to your spam folder.)

Also, names and email addresses have been blocked for privacy.

I have never replied to any of her attempts at contacting me since.

For background/context, this person had already text-bombed me 2 days earlier -  on Christmas Day, mind you - about how I "abandoned her" by asking them all for no more contact in November.

The impetus for this was apparently sending each of them a Christmas Card - seriously, I shit you not - which I sent to show there were no hard feelings. 

(Abandoned - seriously? We talked maybe 5 times, knowing each other for a total of 2 months!)

So going against my better judgment, I responded to her sad Christmas Day text bomb by telling her it was not a good time, my neighbors were over, and perhaps we could talk later.

Now - the only reason I went back on my own "no contact" boundary and agreed to discuss this later with her was because I felt sorry for her, alone at Christmas - how badly she was feeling on Christmas, fearing perhaps I had been too harsh when I said my goodbyes.

Then she wrote the email on December 27th, that I'm responding to here, going on and on about how "she didn't know if she could trust me ever again"  after cutting her off.

I replied that - erm - I wasn't asking her to trust me nor back into her life, in fact, I didn't want that - I simply sent her a Christmas card to show there were no hard feelings - period.

Then I said now wasn't a good time to discuss her feelings about how things ended as I was sick with a throat infection - which I really did have, and turned out to be a complication from previously undiagnosed Sjogren's syndrome.

Then I went to bed - only to wake up and find she had written me four more emails overnight, despite being asked to stop, and becoming increasingly verbally abusive.

Saying things like that I 'deserved' the Christmas text bomb for "shitting on her family" - that if I really cared about boundaries, I wouldn't have answered her, so I must not respect myself -  that I'm not some "passive seaweed," I didn't have to answer her, no one was forcing me to - and worst of all, that my husband "Should be angry with me for answering her on Christmas Day.

Now, at this point, I began to suspect the whole "I'm so sad at Christmas because you abandoned me and I'm alone at Christmas" thing was apparently just another way to manipulate/push past my "no" and "please stop" boundaries. 

Then, after I blocked her, her last email before this current round, on December 31st - entitled "Thank you" admitted that she was intentionally trying to push past my boundaries, rambling about some little experiment for herself, which didn't even make sense. 

For the record, THAT is what I meant in that post about giving me the chills - because it did scare me  - but I didn't say which new family member.  I also said only two other people have ever given me literal chills like that in my life. 

Like this person, both admitted to consciously emotionally manipulating  me, to push past my "Please, just leave me alone" boundaries, just to see if they could - and then laughing at me at my "weakness" and "stupidity"  if I did believe them and cave

It scared me because this is not normal-range behavior for a grown adult, especially someone with whom I only communicated  a handful of times over two months - and of course, she wouldn't stop - and became increasingly verbally abusive and aggressive each time I asked her to stop. 

Bully behavior, yes, but more than that - I believe it may be pathologic - but that is just my opinion.

In fact, that - combined with repeatedly attempting to contact me after being asked to stop and being blocked  - is dancing dangerously close to the legal definition of stalking, harassment, and terroristic threatening for the legal threats being made.

Regardless, these are those last 2 emails to her on December 28th, with the first email split into two screen shots (because I couldn't fit the whole thing in one screen shot without it being tiny - see my requests for her to stop and that I was blocking her permanently, when she wouldn't, circled in red) ...

As you can see, just as I stated in the post below, I went from asking her to stop -  to literally begging her to stop.

She replied with some more snarky, accusatory stuff, to which I didn't take the bait - and just sent this last email that I was blocking her from email and phone - permanently 

Despite her persistent contact, again, I have never answered her, ever again.

Thus, if I am sued, that is exactly what I will say - and more importantly, what I can prove - in court.

So if you're going to sue me, then just do it already - enough with the threatening and harassing emails.

I never said who gave me chills in that post anyway, so ... guilty conscience speaking for you? ;)

Yes, it's true, you scare me/gave me chills - gee, I wonder why? LOL

Yes, I questioned whether drinking was involved, because of what appeared to be slurred speech to us in two late-night calls - because I was trying to give you an excuse for suddenly behaving so bizarrely!

However, those are just my opinions. 

What is NOT just my opinion, and is actually fact - what I CAN actually prove - is that you were asked twice not to contact me - and then told you were blocked - and yet you persist.

Does your family - and this supposed attorney - know you're continuing to contact me, after being asked not to and blocked six months ago, threatening me five times of a lawsuit in the past one week? 

I doubt it ;) 

7 (More) Harassing/Threatening Emails: 5 on June 18th and 2 on June 25th

 

... to my spam folder, from the person in our "new" family (via DNA test) that I had asked for no more contact from this person, and she was blocked in December.  

(When you block someone in Gmail, their emails go to spam.)

I just happened to notice them while checking my spam/deleting emails to free up space. 

I continue to not reply/respond to this person's emails, of course, threatening or not.

Good luck with suing me - because I do have email proof from December 27th through December 31st - that I at first tried to calm this person down, reason with her, then asked her for no more contact, literally begging her to stop, I didn't want to have to block her.  Instead, she became increasingly verbally abusive, so I blocked her (meaning all subsequent emails go to spam) on December 28th -  because as I said, she was literally starting to scare me!

But of course, she continued to write more, over the next couple of days, which I did not respond to, and she finally stopped on December 31st.

All of those emails - plus the new 7 emails - have been saved - and will be forwarded to our attorney today.

I'm not sure if there's a reading comprehension issue or what - but the post mentioned in these new emails as the impetus - which is the second before last - clearly stated why I was writing that post, and it has not been touched ...

But once again, I wrote it because my older sister might be reading, (who I'm not in contact with)because she didn't believe I wasn't in contact with  anyone from the "new" family anymore and behind it all  (out of her fear that someone is after the estate).

Though my mother and little sister told her repeatedly that I wasn't, she still didn't believe it  - to the degree that she wrote the genealogist to ask her if I was in contact with you (which was wildly inappropriate).

Thus, rather than open up contact with her, I decided to state it myself, in my own words here, as well as WHY I chose to cut contact with the new family - discomfort with the lawsuit towards the hospital, constant pushing me to find various ways to push past my mom's "No" answer for contact with you, and finally, those crazy emails from this person at Christmas. 

Gee, I ... wonder why I said I felt there were boundary issues, wanted to protect my family from this behavior, and that I literally got chills from one of you - it's a real mystery isn't it? lol.

Now - as I've said before, I'm not very litigious, but after prior experience with similar behavior, let me amend that now to the exception to that rule - if I try to walk away from a person or a situation, and yet they keep following/harassing me/threatening me - then I might.

So do I really need to file a restraining order/harassment against this person or will she just leave me hell alone now, please, and let me walk away and live my life in peace? 

Because short of restraining order, I don't know what else to say or do to make her stop contacting me, because I've tried everything else, but this - FUCK OFF!  GET A LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE."

Dang, after this, I can see I really didn't need a DNA test to prove you're definitely family lol.  

I just feel sorry for the more sane family members, who I did mention by name, who are caught up in middle of this and what to believe, but I won't be there to pressure them in the middle, I walked away from both sides now, specifically for that reason.

Most importantly, I can only hope that Rita and my mother can still find a way to find some peace and healing despite all the crazy :(

______________________

PS - To my immediate family ... *IMPORTANT*

Please save the stamped-and-mailed letter a member of the new family sent to you in late February, as well as any other communication received from them -  because this person also claimed that no one from their family contacted you, and that YOU all contacted THEM. 

Before I Mark My Blog Private Again: Dear Kim

 

*Edited - this was written essentially stream of consciousness, just to get it all out, so I have removed redundancies.  Forgive me for those, they are a side effect of not being believed originally.  But those of you that have heard this story before, you will note that the details never change, it's the same story every time.  Only liars change their stories ;)

Also, I added a PS that I'm not marking my blog private, as it could appear that I'm hiding something.  

So here will stand my truth, my story having remained unchanged since the time it happened.

And if nothing else, it was super therapeutic for me to write? ;)

_______________________________________

I am marking my blog private again because ridiculous family lawsuits (which I refuse to be a part of) over surprising DNA results continue to persist - and people are now taking unnecessary actions, preparing for a war that likely won't happen -  without ever realizing that in doing so, they can actually create a self-fulfilling prophecy with contagious paranoia and making false accusations, destroying their own families themselves.

However, before I do, I'd like to say the following, mostly to my older sister, Kim ...

As you are discovering for yourself, I have told  the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (which really pisses you off, doesn't it?).

I took a DNA test at my own expense to help an elderly woman whose genealogist contacted me, to help solve her family mystery before her death, because you all refused to answer their letter.

After they opened a lawsuit against the hospital - and kept trying various ways to push past mom's "No" answer for contact -  I became extremely uncomfortable (and one of them literally scared me at Christmas, see the post below) - so  I cut all ties with them by December. 

So the only thing I have to apologize for here is had I known that it would turn into this, I never would have taken that DNA test - and truly, I am so,  SO sorry for what this has turned into. 

(No good deed goes unpunished, I guess, as they say.)

Otherwise, I have absolutely nothing else to apologize for - nothing.

I'm sorry you didn't believe me that I haven't been in contact with the new family since December (though Mom and Ruthie told you repeatedly) -  to the degree that you felt you had to write the genealogist (a total stranger to you, mind you) -  to tell her you were "concerned" that "people in your family were still talking to the new family," actually asking if she knew if anyone was?

We thought at first maybe you meant McKenna, giving you the benefit of the doubt - but I knew you meant me, and Ruthie confirmed that later. 

Gee, I wonder why Sharon - or any sane person - might tell you to ask your own family instead of her, and that she doesn't have time to talk  anymore - it's a mystery, isn't it?

Also, news flash - people tend to not want to talk much when there's a lawsuit in the works?

And the most amazing part is that apparently neither you, nor the family, have any idea of how bizarre, paranoid, and off-putting that was and need to villainize her for not reacting to it in the way you would've liked?

Because as usual, instead of anyone in the family realizing how inappropriate your behavior was - they chided me instead, and villainized Sharon, because we talked about it?

Erm - Sharon had no idea who was still talking to whom for certain - she had to ask?!?

THEN I was accused of "consulting" with Sharon?

Why, because apparently, it's not possible you made an ass of yourself, all by yourself, so Sharon and I therefore must be colluding against  you?

No - and you still have no idea how you create your own self-fulfilling prophecies and enemies out of actions you take out of your paranoia, do you, Kim?

How when nobody was talking about you negatively before - to the new family or each other - they might NOW, after you basically  falsely accused them - which you imagine is an "A-ha, I was right" moment, having reversed the order of events.  

Regardless, sorry to break this to you, Kim, but here's the reality: The only reason Sharon wrote me was to:  (1) Ask my permission to share my DNA results with you (which I agreed to),  and (2), answer your paranoid question about whether or not I was still talking to the new family, because last she heard, I wasn't - so she had to ask me to make sure she'd answered you correctly, that I still wasn't in contact with them.

Other than that, the last email I have to Sharon was about a month ago to let her know about Marian's death, because she knows Marian was the one to actually inform Mom about the switch in early September. Prior to that, we hadn't spoken in literally months.

As for whether Sharon is talking to the new family or not, that's none of our business!

Sharon's actual contract was with them, they were her paying clients - we didn't pay her a dime!

So Sharon does not have to talk to you, Kim - she doesn't have to talk to any of us - her case was officially closed in October.  

In fact, Sharon does not owe anyone shit.

The only reason she did answer you is because she felt sad for the way things have turned out for all of us.

Also, again, probably not wise for her to talk to any of us in either family, now that there's a lawsuit in the works -  but she did anyway. 

Sigh.  I had hoped for better, this time around - from you, as well as  from the family, after that insanity at Granny's death.  I guess that was unrealistic, considering the choke hold you have them in.

Thus, I'm going to take this as a sign that you still consider me a threat to you -  though I never was - and will continue to try to find a way to blame me for everything, which would continually put everyone else in the middle again.

I guess I hoped that after all this time, you would've seen things differently, how wrong you were about me, that maybe you realized you'd made a mistake - but I can see nothing has changed since Granny's death.

Because once you find out that you're wrong with your insinuations and accusations, you either refuse to believe it or you just roll onto the next false accusation, blame me for everything, bully me, and/or stick me with the bill if you can, simply so you don't have to spend your own money so you can finance your expensive lifestyle.

Speaking of that expensive lifestyle, you complain about finances, but exactly how many times have you been to France now in the last 16 years?

Have you become so textbook white-over-privileged that you don't understand that most people cam never make it to France even once in their lifetime - especially when they have an elderly parent to take are of?  

Or that these days, only the top 1% can afford to NOT have to dip into their personal savings to help an elderly parent? 

Or that most people in America would kill to have what apparently is your worst problem? 

Regardless, just like a textbook bully/abuser, you will believe I deserved it until doomsday and do your best to convince everyone else I deserve it, too, even help bully me previously - and the family will continue to protect the abuser and be guilt-tripped into putting your financial and emotional needs ahead of their own.

Mark could not believe that Ruthie watches you whisk off to Paris or God knows where, several times a year, while she's doing all the heavy lifting and all the hand-holding for Mom's for surgeries, etc, and that you have you never given actual physical care, for either Granny OR Mom, because of your "fear of medical stuff.," 

(I could believe it because you did the same with Granny and worse - you never even offered to come down, at least you insincerely did Ruthie.) 

And yet you demand to be appreciated and absolute loyalty, and somehow convince everyone that YOU are doing all the hard work because you handle her finances???

And everyone is supposed to freak out about "poor Kim" having to dip into your own bank account because the estate left to Mom may not be enough, when Ruthie doesn't even make a-one-tenth of what Matthew makes - and she totally buys into it, caring more about how YOU feel and YOUR finances more than her own!! 

(And by the way, NO - Ruthie did NOT say a bad word about you - it's just obvious to everyone on the outside viewing the situation - and yes, that included Marian.)

Not me, I gave enabling you up for lent a long time ago - and may I just add, if it's dishonesty, selfishness, manipulation, thievery, need for control of all communication and over everyone's perception, that you seek - look no further than yourself. 

After therapy helped me see reality instead of seeing what I wanted to see/the family believed, I stopped enabling you.  And the healthier I got, the worse family shit towards me became - especially when I started standing up to you/stopped enabling you. 

But I was never a threat to you - you made me your enemy, out of your own paranoia, projecting your own motivations, behaviors, and mental issues onto me.  In fact, you have no idea who I am and never have, you have never seen me clearly out of your own issues.

I'm sorry you've hated me all my life - I sincerely don't hate you, despite everything. I'm extraordinarily pissed that apparently you're up to your old tricks again, but I don't hate you.

Honestly, I didn't realize how much you hated me, growing up, I wish I had. Everyone else around us who was not in our dysfunctional family - friends, teachers, parents of friends, etc. - tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. 

I just told them they didn't understand you like I did. In fact, I spent the majority of our childhood defending you from other people, more than you will ever know, who found you "intense" and "scary"  and "vindictive."

And we both know it became worse after I was in that movie, then you really hated me -  because you felt you deserved that kind of attention more than me.

And you know what?  You're right, you do.

I hate being the center of attention and never felt I deserved it, and every chance I could, I pulled you into spotlight beside me because I wasn't comfortable with it and I felt you deserved the spotlight more than me - and yet your hatred only grew worse and worse.

Everyone - including even one of my castmates (Ben) - tried to tell me you were spreading rumors and lies about me to get the attention on yourself.  I didn't want to believe them, and at most, I chalked it up to normal sibling rivalry stuff.

Because I thought you were my big sister that had my back - that if I really ever needed you, you'd be there - but you never were.

Then, during the worst time in my life (after the 2004//2005 hurricanes, Jon, and then Granny's cancer diagnosis), you didn't just kick me when down -  you told me that I either was lying or "made my bed and had to lie in it" and that I deserved abuse.  Then you bullied me/stripped me of everything and everyone I loved over Granny's estate.

An estate which I told you I didn't want and signed off on, but that wasn't enough for you - then you threatened me out of the house or you'd call the Sheriff (among other things), out of fear I'd come back later and contest it using "squatter's rights." 

And then you had the audacity to tell everyone, including my daughter (whom I didn't tell why we left until years later) that I "abandoned" Granny and that I threatened YOU to dump my daughter off with her father, when the opposite was true!

I begged you to let me stay, I had nowhere to go, and I  told you that I wouldn't have much choice other than to share half-time with her alcoholic father because I had to find a place to live  - which you told her was a threat rather than a beg.

I had no idea you were actually were my worst enemy until then. I should've known, but I didn't - not because I'm as stupid as you think, but because like the rest of our extremely dysfunctional family, I saw what I wanted to see, forgave despite no apology, made excuses and minimized things that were really quite monstrous - until it was too late.

Though it still hurts and I can get super pissed when I think of what you've done at Granny's death, most of the time, I remember a lot of good, fun times, cool stuff you taught me, and it makes me sad, but I don't hate you - in fact, now, I mostly just pity you - just not for the reasons that you think.  How exhausting all of this scheming and lying and paranoia must be. 


You know, victims of bullies can make two choices later: They can ensure that they never bully and hurt anyone else, as well as stand up for the bullied - or they can pity themselves to the degree that they become bitter bullies themselves to make themselves feel superior and don't even realize it or justify it.

I took the first road - you took the latter.

You're not a victim anymore, Kim - you are the bully, now.

In fact, you've become the worst kind of bully - the kind that bullies others, but actually believes she's the victim or justifies their bullying especially when they tell you no, stand up to you, or fight back, and to make yourself feel superior out of your own insecurity.




Regardless, I walked away from it all and didn't try to fight you - Granny was too sick and it would be selfish to put anyone else in the middle of us as to who to believe. I couldn't have afforded an attorney even if I had wanted to, but I didn't want to.  I kept thinking you'd calm down, and if nothing else, the truth would come out in time.

And note that I never came back to contest the estate, like you thought I would - I told you I didn't want it and I meant it - too many bad memories on that farm. I only wanted to care for Granny as she'd cared for me, be there when she closed her eyes. 

However, the dysfunctional family belief is so ingrained that as much as I had hoped for a happy ending for us all together again in forgiveness - I can see you will never, ever let that happen - you must make me the villain and family threat - I must be erased from the family and  you can't stand it if I'm in contact with them. 

And do you know why just the immediate family continues to believe your lies and refuses to look at any actual evidence otherwise?

Much the same reason as to why Trump voters don't dump Trump, or any severely dysfunctional group refuses to see truth and follows leaders without question - because the alternative is too scary.

The idea that what they went along with/believed wasn't true wasn't justified is too scary, too manyfeelings of guilt-by-association for the psyche to process at one time, so it's easier to stay willfully in denial.

But not to worry, you'll be pleased to know that I just bowed out of the family again, to take pressure of those in the middle and let you have control of their perception again.  

I have been super sad about that for the last few days, because I have never been happier to see Mom doing so well on better medication, and I've missed her and Ruthie so much, and at least from my perspective, I felt a lot of healing.

But I will take those recent positive memories with me, knowing that just like last time, by the time you're done twisting and talking, they will believe you that everything I said and did had some dastardly motivation and they'll forget entirely that I helped Ruthie  during mom's surgeries.  Regardless, I choose to take the good and leave the rest.



But other than bowing out to keep those in the middle from having to choose between us what to believe again -  as well as protect myself from further blame if I'm nowhere around -  know this ...

The similarities between 2007 and now end there - because I'm no longer alone, broke, broken, and powerless anymore.

Most importantly, I no longer believe your gaslighting about myself.

So should you come looking for a war with me again, you'll definitely get one.

So I will continue to walk away  - *UNLESS* - you go back to your old tricks and try in anyway blame me, accuse me, bully/intimidate through legally or through other family members, or try make me financially responsible for either this DNA situation OR Granny's estate (that you bullied/threatened me out of).

This time, should you choose to give a repeat performance of 2007 - I will fight back - and I will show you as much mercy as you showed me.

Also note that I will still always help Mom, McKenna, and Ruthie if they ever need it - always.

But never you, Kim - never you - I'm sorry.

You have no one to blame but yourself - this is the consequence of your actions - none of which you have ever shown the slightest bit of remorse for doing whatsoever, and in fact, continue to justify.

Karma's a bitch, Kim - an even bigger bitch than you.

However, I had nothing to do with facilitating this other than taking a DNA test to help a woman solve her own family mystery.

If nothing else, let this be a lesson to all of us - no matter how well hidden the truth is, intentionally or otherwise, the truth always comes out eventually, sometimes even after we're gone - always.

_________________________

PS - I have decided not to go private because it might look like I am hiding something, when I'm not - but I won't post anything else until the their lawsuit with the hospital (and/or each other) is either dropped or over. 

Because everything I have said here - including in the post below - is 100% truth and I would stand by it in a court of law - and I can prove it (though no one has ever asked to see it, people need to believe otherwise, I guess).

As for the rest of the family, I'd be very careful about what to believe, this time around - because what if you are/have been wrong?

Regardless, though I love you all, I've given up hope for a reunited family as of this weekend - maybe some day, my family, who are otherwise highly intelligent - will stop seeing what they want to see in this family and stop enabling some truly monstrous behavior.

If I can do it, anyone can - but it takes bravery, willingness to risk loss to avoid or stop enabling the toxicity, and years of therapy :)

"Oh, Father" - Madonna

It's funny that way, you can get used
To the tears and the pain
What a child will believe
You never loved me

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you, I never thought I would
You can't make me cry, you once had the power
I never felt so good about myself :)

Dear Families ... From "Mule"

                         

 

*Edited - heavily. Material added.



*I had more here originally, but I have removed it as I said it in a text to some members of my family of origin already - and some things have been clarified since then that I had misunderstood - and some things weren't any clearer at all.*


At this point, I understand that Rita and mom will finally be meeting over Zoom, which is all you said you wanted, Rita, Ger, and Heather - so why continue the lawsuit?


As I've said repeatedly, I want no part in your ridiculous, unnecessary lawsuit.

 I think it's a very poor idea, pushing an already stressful situation to maximum drama capacity unnecessarily, making 2 elderly people's lives, in poor health already, even more stressful - and for what?

I think you'll find it will not solve anything - it will not heal any old wounds - it will only make things worse.

Also, the situation breeds distrust and paranoia because there's money involved - and if there are any chinks in the family chain, they will break.




Now - let me say this - I have given a lot of benefit of the doubt here and several chances for a few of you on both sides - i.e., this was a shock and emotions were high, you'd calm down when the initial shock wore off, you had a history of trauma, etc. (In fact, most people say I gave you all TOO many chances, for too long - a chronic problem for me).

Then I walked away from any contact in November except for Mary (but the last time we even spoke was early January) - after the lawsuit and constant pushing me to push my mother into contacting you after she repeatedly said no, made me uncomfortable - and yet initially, there were no hard feelings.

In fact, I still sent Christmas cards -  specifically to show you I had no feelings - but then one of you behaved like an absolute (drunken) psychopath, now, didn't you?

And surprisingly, it wasn't Ger.

In fact, there are only 3 people in my life who have ever given me literal chills - my ex-husband when drunk, an internet psycho I once knew - and this particular member of your family. 

But despite this, I still left my DNA results still for you to use for your lawsuit, so as not to be vindictive, now, didn't I?


Because it wasn't Rita's fault you two appear to have absolutely zero boundaries or self-control (well, one of you just when drinking) -  and hate it when somebody tells you "no."

I said I would still allow you to use my DNA under 2 conditions, well, really just one - that you waited for my mom to contact you when she was ready, if she ever did, as well as that you did not harass my family - specifically, that you did not contact/involve my daughter and try to go through her now to push my mom.

Then what did you do?

Exactly the only two things I asked you not to do, which I said I'd I'd delete my results for.


Thus, two of you have now taken advantage of/used up all the benefit-of-the-doubt. compassion, and mercy for you that I had left for you. I need to reserve those things for reasonable, sane people lol.

So as much as I don't want this lawsuit - and I pride myself on not being a vindictive person, letting go and letting God - not only have I deleted the DNA results, but we have contracted an attorney - and not a Kentucky one.

Thus, you will really have to fight tooth and nail for my compliance on anything at all, for your ridiculous lawsuit. 

If I am deposed and asked my opinion against my will, it's not going to be helpful to your case, I guarantee it.




Now - as some may recall, the reason Pap changed my nickname from "Pete" to "Mule" was because he said I reminded him of a mule he once had, and not just because I was stubborn.


Shortly before he died, he explained the reason:

"You see too much, just like this mule I once had. That's why we put blinders on them. I had this mule once and I was trying to hoe a row and he sat down, brayed, and would not go a step further. I'm ashamed to say I beat that mule, cussed him, but he wouldn't budge. I finally realized I was getting too mad and walked down the row, wiped my brow, and looked up just in time to see that there was a hornet's nest in the crook of the tree, but on the other side of the tree, where he couldn't see from where I had previously been - and the mule was trying to warn me it was there."  

"You remind me of that mule. You see stuff that other's can't see or don't want to. So when this happens, you have three choices. You can: 

1) Walk on ahead with them and get stung.  

2) Sit down and bray once and then let it go - let them think you're crazy or stupid or lazy - you'll be safe.  

3) Sit down and bray again and again - but if you do that, not only will they think you're crazy, but distracting them from seeing it themselves, and worst of all - you'll probably get your ass whupped!"

LOL!

I've finally learned that lesson. (I think.)

Thus, the Mule has spoken lol.

I have seen the hornet's nest -  a big one - on both sides.

In fact, if it weren't for my mom, Rita, Aunt Mary, my little sister,  and my daughter, I'd be getting my popcorn, watching as you eat each other alive (but still try to play the victim of each other), because I think the rest of you deserve each other, on both sides.)

Regardless - consider this my braying once about it and letting it go.

The rest is up to you.




Lastly, and once again - please remember, this is NOT ABOUT YOU - this is about Mom and Rita - let them speak before YOU do - please?

Okay, I'm Almost Done Bombarding Y'all With New Puppy Videos ...

 

... but I can't help myself. I just got him and there are very few things cuter in this world than a baby pug puppy ...