Comment I Left Under a YouTube Video ...

 

Sometimes my husband and I watch creepy videos like doorbell cam videos or cop videos or ghostie stuff if nothing else is on, or if it's late and we don't want to start a longer show, or in the case of tonight, waiting for MSU to play UConn in the tournament tonight at 9:45.

Anyway, we ended up going down the rabbit hole and watching these cop videos, one guy keeping a paralyzed woman in his basement in Cleveland.

Aside - Cleveland, what is up with you all and keeping women in your basement?

Anyway, the videos were pretty good, with the second one being heartbreaking for the children, so I considered subscribing - and then I saw the very last video.

It actually really upset me, because it was scary, and not for the reasons that you think.

I don't leave comments anywhere anymore, unless they're positive, or answering a question, but even that's rare - but this one really rattled me.

Now, keep in mind, I'm well aware that women can commit domestic violence just like men - for instance, I saw the Frankie Taylor Paul video - that was HER domestic violence, no doubt about it.

However, I am also acutely aware of the dismissive bias against women when making a complaint, which is another reason women don't report it or fail to press charges.

And before I say this, I want to make clear that that did NOT happen in my own DV personal experience years ago.

In fact, it was a DV- trained white male Southern cop, believe it or not -  called by a neighbor after eyewitnessing something -  who actually woke me up to how bad things really were, because I had been dismissing things/gaslighting myself - and I am forever grateful to him for it  🥲

I'm not going to post the actual video here because I don't want to give this channel more attention, but I can leave a copy of my comment after what I saw - and I think you can get the gist of what's in the video by my comment.

Really scary-good videos that I hadn't seen before (the second one was more heartbreaking than scary), I almost hit the subscribe button - until the very last video, you lost me - here's why ... 

I'm sorry, but as unlikeable as that woman appeared to be that called the police on her boyfriend, the cops ignored crucial details - nobody just walks up and scratches somebody in the neck when mad - neck scratches are usually self-defensive wounds. 

That is why in sexual assault and murders of women, they check under the lady's fingernails for DNA first, and often, they were choked which doesn't necessarily leave obvious marks. 

 

Also, did you not notice the beer already in his hand despite it being early morning? 

 

Or ask yourselves why she called HIS mother during the altercation if she had physically attacked HIM first? 

Why did she call - to let his mom know she was attacking him? I don't think so. 

And you're taking the word of his mommy over her, without asking yourselves that question? 

 

Even if you ignore all that - the cops are going to take her to jail for leaving a mark on him, fine, whatever. 

But THEN the police said they were going to tack on a charge of "cruelty to children" for her for having witnessed it - though the children said they didn't see it, just heard it, and said they both were fighting?!? 

 

Whaaa!? 

My husband watched this with me and it was his mouth that dropped open. 

Mine didn't - because we women have seen this before, many times, in fact. It's why women don't report it. fearing attitudes like this. 

 

Don't get me wrong, women commit DV violence, too, like Frankie Taylor Paul - but this was NOT that situation. 

And I'm not saying she's a victim - I don't think either of them were victims. 

 

For the record, that's what I personally believe - they likely put their hands on each other, and being that he's stronger, she used her nails to get him off. 

And had they just removed him from the home like she asked, because it's in her name, and separated them to calm down, that would've been the best course, and if it happened again, well, then someone goes to jail - maybe both of them. 

This was so biased against women, ignoring the actual evidence based on he said/she said and nothing more that it was sickening - so I'm sorry, making sure I never watch your videos again :(

For the record, I didn't perceive her as "aggressive" OR "telling the cops what to do" - and believe me, I've seen verbally aggressive women, both in real life and on these videos.

She wasn't yelling, but she was clearly upset, talking a mile a minute, rattling off possible witnesses they could talk to - maybe a bit snarky about it, already sensing their disbelief the moment they arrived herself, and the evidence of that is she ended that speech with "That's okay, I know the truth and so does God, and that's enough for me."

And he interrupted the cops too - they both did, while upset, adrenaline pumping -  but guess that didn't matter, a woman never should? 

The kids said they didn't even see it, just heard it - but you're taking just her to jail for "child cruelty?" because it "happened in front of them" - why?" 

I hope the judge laughs in their faces for the lack of evidence -  and the body cam actually helps her more than it does him.

But in fact, nobody had to go to jail here, and the only evidence was the scratches on his neck, which again, are defensive wounds. 

Because she called the cops to help remove him from the home because she'd asked him to leave and he wouldn't, and only her name is on the house - so why didn't they just do that?

Another clue this was biased against women was the cop who talked to the kids, asking one of them what they got for their birthday. After telling them his was 2 days ago, he said "You know what I got from my family? Nothing."

Clearly, he's not happy with his own wife and life. 

Dude - if your own wife and kids aren't giving you birthday gifts,  unless they're ALL selfish people overall, then might be time to look at what's wrong with YOU instead of self-pity to the degree that you're inappropriately seeking sympathy from a 7-year-old child in  a potential DV situation?

These particular cops were either that dumb or that intentionally blind - which is it?

My money is in the latter. Or both.