PS - And Then There's "The Bulldozer"

 

So my classmate and friend were talking more about these group projects, and unfortunately, she's in one with a "Bulldozer."

So in my last post, I neglected to mention those school group projects where one person is a know-it-all, tells you what to do, refuses to take your input or any help from others because they want it done their way - and then has the audacity to claim no one would help them and nobody appreciates them enough.

Grr ... I HATE dat, that's almost worse! 😂

I call such personalities "Bulldozers."

And I hate to say it -  but they're usually women.

Not always - I mean, we have a Bulldozer president, right now - it's just women seem to get away with it longer.

Now - when I said in the below post it was usually me and one other person who ended up doing most of the work and everybody else just signed off on them, it was NOT that.

I meant because others didn't show or went MIA, so we just ended up doing it to get it all done lol. 

And we never snitched about that to our professors OR complained about being appreciated. (I think the professors pretty much know who does what anyway, if nothing else by your other grades.)

And I don't CARE if my classmates "appreciate" me, I'm lucky if my classmates or professors even notice me 😂

With one exception - appreciation in the form of compensation for  actual work tasks on jobs is nice, right? 

I don't need a "thank you" for working OT, just pay me, right? 😂

Also, as I mentioned, I took input and feedback on the work I did, because I know I DON'T know it all - AND other perspectives help you see things in a different way you hadn't thought of before, I welcome feedback (well, as long as it's not screamed at me or thrown AT me).

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one bothered by that type of personality. 

I thought it was my issue/personal pet peeve, being a product of an older sister with a "Bulldozer" personality - but apparently, it irks  just about everybody but the Karen herself - erm - I mean person herself, with this personality.

On that same subject, we started to talk about personality traits in general that we don't care for.

But the truth is - I pretty much like everybody - even people who don't like ME. 😂

(Well, except for certain politicians wreaking havoc, racists, bigots, bullies, physically/verbally abusive people, pathological liars, manipulators etc. - but if in a work situation, I still manage to either find common ground or be civil to them, while perhaps trying to avoid them/try not to piss them off - if I can lol.)

There are certain things that get on my nerves, sure -  but that doesn't mean I necessarily dislike somebody - because hell, I have an anxiety disorder, there are tons of things I do that get on people's nerves, I know! 😂)

Along those lines, I KNOW I'm not everyone's cup of tea! 

In fact, up until about 2 years ago, if I received negative feedback about myself, I would immediately assume they were correct and then I worked on whatever it was.

But then, don't you know, somebody else would invariably give the exact opposite feedback!

Example: "You're too quiet" VS. "You talk too much."

So since then, though I will always listen to and consider feedback - I've given up trying to change myself  just to make people happy.

Though I still have a bit of social anxiety, it's 100x better now the longer I'm away from toxic family - and I'm STILL somewhat of a people-pleaser -  but that's just exhausting, so I gave it up for Lent. 😂

I dunno, perhaps also because when you're in your 50s you put up with less BS and care less what other people think, so I just let my freak flag fly! 😂

(Well, as long as I know I meant no harm - and after I've checked myself first to see if I'm the one in the wrong.)

And then there's something to be said about the source of the feedback, too, and what is potentially motivating them.

This is something I previously didn't consider, I always thought the feedback they gave must be gospel truth and third-party perspective  was shared by everybody, until I found out it wasn't.

So sometimes, once in a blue moon, after considering it for a second, I realize it's not really about me, it's about them and their own issues - and at that point, it goes in one ear and out the other 😂