Bad AND Good Dream ...

I realize it's 9/11 and I had intended to have radio silence, but I had this dream and am writing this down to remember it.  

I'm not sure if I'm going to publish it yet, because it could be twisted (when it's just a dream!).  If I do and remove it later, just know it's not because I'm hiding something, but because it feels too vulnerable - but remember, it was just a dream.

A very significant one, at least for me - and strangely validating - and perhaps also could be for others watching this evangelical Trump nonsense, too.  

I'm hoping finally feel like people are wisening up to just how dangerous that certain forms of evangelicals - and certain evangelicals - can actually be. At least I hope people are. 

And even if they don't, I know now, what I didn't then - they are the crazy ones - mob rule does not make the mob right!

Something similar happened to the events of this dream, once, although it was completely different circumstances and it did not end the same way - meaning I did not say/do these things, nor were any police called - I guess it's a "fantasy" ending lol.

Anyway, here goes ... 

My grandmother was still alive and my daughter was young, probably around 4 - but it was as if COVID was going on.   My mother came and picked my grandmother up for church to have prayer for healing from lung cancer.  

I rushed up to the church, with my daughter in the back seat of the car, with some masks.  

I caught my grandmother at the door of the church, so I told my daughter to stay in the car and ran up to her with a mask.

Me:  "Granny, please ... put this on, please.  If' I'm wrong, your still safe, but if you're wrong, you catch COVID on top of cancer and die sooner."

 

Granny: "I'll be fine.  They're going to pray for me, I have faith. I'm going to get well."

 

Me:  "I want that to be true, too, Granny, but how can I take care of you if you don't do what you're supposed to do?  I have faith too, but God expects us to use wisdom.  Which means we don't do things like handle snakes in church or walk in to a room full of non-socially distanced people and not wear a mask during a deadly virus pandemic.  Please?  Please, just put this on."

 

I kept my voice down, but was holding out the mask.  

 

Everyone walking in the church started laughing at me:  "She's crazy, see?  Her mother's right."

 

Granny:  "Chrystal, just go home, I'll be fine."

 

Me:  "Granny, Trump said, on audio tape, that he purposely downplayed it, please, listen to me. Didn't you hear that on the news?  Didn't Fox News tell you that? Please, just take it, just in case?"

 

Granny:  "Chrystal, go home, I have faith." ... and then walked inside. 

 

I turned around to see my mother and the pastor's wife had gotten my daughter out of the car and walked in past me. 

 

I ran in and said to my daughter:

 

"Honey, come on with Mommy, please.  You can come with Nana another day" -- and tried to take her from my Mom.

My mom would not let go. 

 

Mom:   "Help, she's attacking me!  XXXXXXX, your mommy is attacking me!"

 

Me:   "No, Mommy's not attacking Nana.  Just give me my daughter, please, Mom.  NOW."  

 

Mom:  "No, she's better with me.  They're going to pray for her, she won't get COVID. None of us will.  Our faith is too strong." 

 

My daughter starts crying.  

 

Me:  "Oh, I know, honey, but it's okay.  Just come on with Mommy.  You can come back another day, okay? Just not right now." 

 

But while my arms were around her, I dug my nails into my Mom's arm so she'd have to let go.

 

Mom:  "Help!"

 

 Me: "Yeah, no, somebody help ME!  I'm surrounded by crazy people who think prayer saves them from COVID, won't follow social distancing restrictions and wear a mask, but think I'M crazy for wearing one, and that they can just abduct my daughter from the car, and know better than me how to raise my daughter, just because they're addicted to their own personal Jesus!"

 

People rushed over.

 

Me:  "Anyone touches my daughter, you go down, you understand me?  I'm walking out of this church with my child."

 

Pastor's Wife:  "She's crazy, she's demon-possessed - call the police!"

 

Me:  "Do it!  Call them!  I don't care how much money you have versus me, or how much you wave the Jesus flag, or even if the police believe you lot - in the end, legally, she's still MY child and you had no right to take her out of the car and bring her in here, without my permission!" 

 

"This thing is real, I type health reports for a living.  I'm sorry you don't believe in it and believe prayer will save you, and that Trump is your Messiah in graven-image idolatry.  I pray too, you know, I believe in Christ - but sometimes prayer doesn't save you, especially from the consequences of your own poor choices! "

 

Then I leaned over and whispered to my mother ... 

 

Me:  "Now, you listen to me.  If she catches this and dies, you die - are we clear? I am sick of your bullshit.  You couldn't raise a cactus, you crazy old bat, what makes you think you could raise my daughter? And stop blaming Dad for your crazy - you're both crazy as hell by your own merits. I did not grow up in a vacuum, if I'm crazy, how do you think I got this way?"

 

I then ran to the car with my daughter,  who was crying and didn't understand.

 

Me:  "Honey, I know you don't understand this and what it must look like, and it's okay if you're mad at me, but I AM trying to protect you. Don't worry about Nana, Nana is okay, she just didn't get her way, that's all.  But everything is going to be fine, but let's get you home and into a bath."  

 

 

And then I woke up, my heart was beating so fast.

Again, I guess it's a fantasy ending - this did not happen. 

I was once in a similar situation with her, but not at a church and no police were called - and no, I did not end things this way.

I did not - nor would I ever - threaten her, or anyone else with death, nor could I ever kill anyone - and I honest to God do NOT wish my mother, or anyone else, harm or death.

However, I DO wish there were some consequences and accountability for her behavior and her enablers, but I really gave up on that idea years ago.

And by that, I mean consequences other than her being hospitalized over 10 times for mental illness - including hallucinations which included her being an angel or a demon, and not knowing who or where she was.

Which of course they, and certain members of my family, just brush off as either the "side effects" of being a prophetess of God, or as being the fault of others or "Satan" - actually encouraging her to NOT to take her meds, saying "God will heal you, if you have enough faith."

Regardless, point being, although I guess I must have some buried residual anger towards my mom, I actually also sometimes feel sorry for my Mom, but I can't let her know it because she'd use it/manipulate it, she's done it before. 

But I can't even kill a spider - and I hate spiders! (I put a cup over them and scoot them outside lol).


In fact, the other day, I released a struggling wasp from a spider's web, risking being stung despite a moderate allergic to wasps (severe allergy to honeybees), because I couldn't stand to watch it struggle, with the spider already on its way - it just made me so sad :(

So I felt guilt and shame, for saying these things even in my dream, when I first woke up.


However, I then realized you can't control what you dream, and in fact, the dream was therapeutic - just my mind's way of resolving the unresolved, helping me feel less powerless from a past similar situation, long ago - as well as it didn't end with me feeling the like crazy one, in the end?

In fact, I actually have much scarier/worse stories I could tell about some evangelicals, that really happened, in real life - but I'll spare you the details lol.




That is not to say ALL evangelicals - but most do have a tendency towards group-flock behavior/brainwashing and swallowing whole one person's subjective interpretation of the bible and events, without question.

For example, if one church leader says that something or someone is "of the devil," they all will, despite facts, and never considering that that leader might be gaslighting to cover for their own misdeeds.


Many people - especially if white and wealthy - get away with even criminal things if they just wave the Jesus flag for cover - and you're crazy if you don't go along with it.

Even if they're caught red-handed with undeniable evidence, they tend to protect and enable the abuser, preferring the church "counsel" them rather than that person face justice and go to jail - i.e., Josh Duggar's pedophilia.

Point being, I've been saying for a long time that many evangelicals are not well people - and that mentality permeates not only entire families, but the entire culture, especially here in the South - evangelicals are an integral part of enabling our broken socioeconomic system.

Now, for the first time in history, we're seeing just how dangerous some forms of evangelicalism can be - and using Jesus' name as a get out of jail or the mental hospital free card perhaps isn't going to fly anymore.

At least, I hope that's the end result of all this, someday. 

And even if people still don't get how crazy this mentality is, I know now, what I didn't then ... though I have my trauma issues, to be sure - they are the crazy ones - (brainwashed) mob rule does not make the mob right.

Jesus was never meant to be used as cover for a multitude of sins. 

PS   -  And now, a song about being group-gaslighted, and the video itself includes apparent church approval of the common practice of gaslighting any naysayers. 

The song was written after The Dixie Chicks were black-balled from country music and gaslighted, after lead singer, Natalie Maines, said on stage, while in London in 2003, that she did not support a "pre-emptive strike war in Iraq without evidence, and that she was "Ashamed that POTUS (GW Bush) was from Texas."   


Though she has apologized for the effect it had on the other members of the band, she has not, and will not, apologize for saying it - and quite honestly, I don't think she ever should.


Radio stations refused to play her song, there were mass smashing of their CD, she received death threats and was smeared as crazy and a traitor, and the Dixie Chicks were smeared as "Sadam's Angels" and "Dixie Sluts." 

One death threat said if she didn't "Shut Up and Sing," she would be killed on a specific time and date.  

Regardless of whether or not that's true, "Shut Up and Sing" was the name of their documentary on the subject in 2007 -a phrase that was revisited when Taylor Swift finally spoke up against Trump - and a phrase that only female artists tend to hear when they speak up politically, as opposed to men.

This song was released in 2007, and discusses the ability to forgive, but the enduring trauma the experience has made on her life.



Despite the fact that GW Bush has since said he received bad intel and has apologized for the "mistake" of the war first in Iraq - and it is popular knowledge that the "pre-emptive" strike war towards Iraq instead of Afghanistan was bogus - the band has never recovered to the popularity it once had, and they have never received public apology or reinstatement of no wrongdoing and being criminalized and black-balled for for exercising their right to freedom of speech.

Much like Natalie, I, too, am chronically that kid that points out emperors and empresses that aren't wearing clothes (even if I never say it, and just don't loudly clamor and praise the person) - so I get it ;)

The Chicks (formerly The Dixie Chicks)  - "Not Ready to Make Nice" 

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it?
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it

I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets, and I don't mind saying
It's a sad, sad story
When a mother will teach her daughter
That she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better
Shut up and sing
Or my life will be over?

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time
To go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should, what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting ...

At This Point, All I Have Left to Say About Trump ...

(*edited - I have added the actual audio of Trump stating to Woodward COVID was deadly back in January, because Trump is calling it "fake news," in the hopes that his supporters will once again believe him and dismiss it without checking it out for themselves ;)

... is "I told you so - " about both Bob Woodward's tape of Trump admitting denying the severity of COVID to the American public, as well as the DHS whistle-blower regarding downplaying Russia interference and the actual threat of White Supremacy. 

This is one of those times I'm not too happy with being right/able to say "I told you so" - but nevertheless, I did -  several times/posts. 

And "downplay" is an understatement as far as COVID - because as I wrote about in this post from March 2nd - which included video - of Trump literally saying it was a "Democrat hoax meant to undermine the election."  


(*Note the Woodward tape is dated February 7th.)


And if anyone believes his excuse, that he just didn't want to "scare and panic " the American public -  when he fear-mongers daily in capital letters on Twitter, over nothing burgers - then you'll believe I'm Mother Theresa. 



We all know the real reasons he downplayed both because he was afraid both would make him look bad/hurt his chances of re-election - period.

And yet accused us of politicizing the virus? :/

Like I said, whatever Trump accuses others of, he is guilty of himself - he's the king of projection, as deflection of his own guilt -  a true textbook narcissist. 

Regardless, both downplaying COVID and Russian election interference are treasonous actions. 




I recall so much bellyaching about 'lack of transparency' with Obama - where are those people now?

*crickets*



Oh, but Trump is white and is anti-abortion and LGBTQ for pay/votes, so it's still all okay. 

*sarcasm*



Otherwise, the first thing I said, when I heard about Woodward's tape/book is, "Why didn't Woodward release the tape sooner?"

The only plausible answer I can speculate for that is that he wanted to complete the full book with all of the information he had before presenting it, or perhaps legalities with the publisher - and yet I can't help but wonder how many lives could've been saved, if he had released just that piece, sooner  :(

Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends

Thoroughly enjoyed this film, loosely based on the true story of Universal Records signing a group of fishermen from Port Isaac, Cornwall in the U.K., singing old sea shanties.   They were discovered when BBC Radio's Johnnie Walker heard them while in vacation, then had his manager come listen to them, and the rest is history.

In America, "shanties" are mostly associated with a small thrown-together houses for the homeless, deriving from the small, thrown-together, clapboard houses during the Great Depression, i.e. "Shanty Towns."

In the U.K. and Ireland, however, "shanties" also mean fishermen's folk songs, which are sung a capella while working - many of them are centuries old.  

Their first album with Universal, Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends, was recorded in St. Kew Parish Church in Cornwall for acoustics. The album made it all the way to #9 on the U.K. charts in 2010. 

Here are the real Fisherman's Friends versus the actors that play them ...

Though they songs are often sung a capella, they have since added a few simple instruments for accompaniment.  

Below are some samples of their songs, and if the scenery of Port Isaac looks familiar to you, it's also where the series Doc Martin is filmed (although it's called Port Wenn in the series).

Mark and I are big fans of the show, as we love shows with quirky characters, and Martin Clunes, who is a huge goofball ordinarily, plays a very Aspergerey, serious role,  but still manages to be funny doing it.  Last season, Sigourney Weaver came to town, so it will be interesting to see where the next season goes,  which I understand will be its last. 

Regardless, Mark and I would love to visit Port Isaac someday :)

So without further ado, starting with the song everyone knows, "Drunken Sailor," ending with their biggest hit, "No Hopers, Jokers, and Rogues" ...

P.S. - Derby Winner, "Authentic," Literally Knocks Bob Baffert Down in the Winner's Circle ...

 (Updated)  

As I added to the PS in the post prior, I didn't bet yesterday or get any intuitions, as per usual, I didn't have time.

I had no favorite in this race, but I did like 'Tiz the Law's backstory, as well  as Storm the Court.  

We turned off the race the moment we saw Bob Baffert win again, so we missed this ...

Derby winner, Authentic, appearing overly jacked - and despite no fans present - spooks in the Winner's Circle, and knocks Bob Baffert down ...

Hehehe ... good, someone should ;)

Nobody deserves a swift kick in the arse by his own horses  more than Bob Baffert  ;)

Now, of course, if he was seriously hurt,  I wouldn't be saying that. 

Also, if Bob Baffert were a nice person with a good reputation for both the way he treats horses and jockeys, I wouldn't be saying that. 

(As I said in the P.S. to the post below, I've met him - and found him to be rude, arrogant, a-hole.)

Bob Baffert's unsafe, dirty play is an open secret, here in Kentucky - he is infamous for no level being too unsafe for either jockeys and horses to win - which is why no one will ever file an inquiry against Bob Baffert -  because they're afraid of him :(

First of all, in 146 years, a horse has never behaved that way in the Winner's Circle, especially with no fans there to spook them - and we can all see for ourselves, that horse was clearly overly revved up, to an OTT degree.

Secondly, take a look at what happened with Baffert's other horse in the Kentucky Derby, A Thousand Words, just before the race ...

A Thousand Words, also acting overly jacked, was scratched just before the race. While in the paddock, he rared up and nearly flipped himself over on his back.

A Thousand Words - completely different horse than Derby winner, Authentic - but both horses horses appeared overly jacked, and both horses were trained by none other than Bob Baffert.

And of course, who's standing right there when both A Thousand Words and Authentic freaked out?

 

Bob Baffert.

Don't you find it  overly coincidental that both Baffert horses seemed so OTT jacked and freaked out, despite no fans present? 

So ... is it possible they were illegally "juiced"?

Are they afraid of Bob Baffert?

Some combination of both? 

Lastly, always watch what happens right out of the gait - because that's where the dirt usually happens.

For example, it appeared that Mike Smith drove Honor AP directly towards 'Tiz the Law" right out of the gait - which is, of course, not only illegal, but shocked us - we've seen that many times before, but never from Mike Smith, previously famous for clean rides.

Also, John Velasquez "drifted" Authentic over directly in front of Tiz the Law in the last stretch, which is also unsafe and illegal.

Had it been anybody else but Bob Baffert, an inquiry would've been filed - but notice how nobody every files an inquiry against a Bob Baffert horse or jockey, current or former?

Like I said - because everyone's afraid of him :(

As I said in the post below, of course he's a Trump supporter - aren't all socially irresponsible, dishonest, dirty cheaters Trump supporters? :)

As my husband just said, "Bob Baffert is the Donald Trump of horse-racing" - which is why we turned it off, disgusted. 

I hate to be so negative, this week, it's actually the same theme - no level is too low to stoop, too dishonest, or too dangerous for everyone else,  to win.

Regardless, Bob Baffert is an unsafe trainer, for both jockey and horses, and it's dangerous, so it needs to be said - and we're tempted to stop watching racing until somebody besides the horse himself finally does knock Bob Baffert down from his reign of terror.

It's Derby Day!

... 'Tiz the law, here in Kentucky :)

I haven't actually done any "intuitive" predictions yet, this year (which won us a bit of money last year) - that was just a play on words using the name of the Kentucky Derby favorite, "'Tiz the Law."

Also, if you are interested into what led to the win via intuitive hints, last year, see THIS post - interesting enough, looking back, in addition to "Farmer's Market" being a strong intuition hint that played into winning us some money, one of the hints was "Stars and Stripes," which I wasn't sure how to interpret, thinking at the time it meant Code of Honor would be in the top three - however, it seems to coincide more with our current events/news this year - see my earlier post lol)

It's going to look a little weird, without fans or big parties, but nevertheless, the show is going on  :)

________________

P.S.  - No bets this year, didn't have time for intuitive "hints" or betting today. 

But gee, Bob Baffert won again.  What a totally unexpected and complete surprise. 

*sarcasm*

#BobBaffertIsAShadyDouchebag 

 

And yes, by the way - I have met Bob Baffert in person.

Don't be fooled my his recent efforts to smile and be more pleasant and cordial while on camera - he's the same arrogant, rude, a-hole he always has been lol.

Everyone here in Kentucky knows it - but they're afraid of him - because no level is too dirty or unsafe, for either jockey or rider, for him to stoop to win :/

Of course Baffert supports Trump - don't all arrogant, greedy, dishonest, dirty, cheaters? ;)

An Annual Subscription to Stars and Stripes is on Labor Day Sale for $19.99, Right Now

Just an FYI, for those worried about the future for the military newspaper, Stars and Stripes, it's on Labor Day Sale, right now - you can get an annual subscription for $19.99. 

At the moment, we're holding on a subscription until after the election ;)

My husband, Mark, who retired from the military as an Army ranger in 1996, at first said: "Yep, let's do it!"

However, Mark then said: "Wait, though - this means if he and the Pentagon aren't going to shut it down, then it will be subject to Trump's authoritarian-style leadership and censorship, calling any news not favorable towards himself "fake news" - and you can be court-marshaled for not following Trump's orders as Commander in Chief.  In fact, if Trump ordered Troops to go in and attack liberal cities to put down opposition to him, they'd have to do it - and he's just a stone's throw from doing that.

Me: "True. But the other side of that coin is that many of the reporters for Stars and Stripes either aren't military or are no longer military - they actually also work for Cox Media and other news publications; therefore, they are not only NOT subject to court martial, but considering this possible defunding has made national news, if they are told by Trump to censor the news, you know we'll hear about it from the other news agencies that they work in conjunction with."

"Trump won't last forever, legitimate press should - keeping this paper alive, despite efforts to squash its voice completely, is most important, here, in my opinion."

Mark: "Yeah, but especially up until the election, it will be heavily pro-Trump, and I don't want to contribute in any way to that.  Let's hold until after the election.  I'm willing to pay the full $40 a year and avoid that."

Me:  True, and agreed.  

Thus, personally, we're going to hold off on a subscription until after the election, paying the full price, if need be  :)

Regardless, though Trump has since tried to play himself off as the hero, now, in hindsight - by tweeting that he's "saving the military newspaper" - the fact is, he is the Commander in Chief, which means he controls the Pentagon and their budget, so he had to have approved that cut to the military newspaper "Stars and Stripes" initially. 

Now - even though there were multiple sources, because the sources were unnamed in the Atlantic article, I have withheld opinion on the story about refusing to visit Belleau Wood cemetery and other veteran cemeteries while in France, allegedly both because the rain would "mess up his hair" (how is that even possible, it's already a mess?) and called those who lost their lives "losers" and "suckers."

Speaking of "multiple unnamed former administration sources" - including a retired general - what does that mean?

That they're not afraid of dying for this country, but they are afraid of  losing their job and/or what Trump says about them on Twitter?

Seriously - there really are different forms of bravery and cowardice, aren't there?

Well, perhaps if they had stayed soldiers rather than playing politics, then they've have nothing to be afraid of as far as reputation ruin, now wouldn't they?

I didn't rule it out, of course, and in fact considered it likely, considering what he said about John McCain being a loser for being a POW on video.

Instead, he is announced cutting the funding for sensitivity training for things like racism and sexual assault and harassment, calling them "anti-American."

I'm not convinced of the effectiveness of these programs, myself, but they first of all, they are meant to be team-building, and most importantly - they provide legal protection from the institution if there are incidents of sexual assault and racial persecution, and retaliation for those things. 

Speaking of retaliation - it is interesting that he's so focused on cutting military funding somewhere, after this news broke, isn't it? 

And if the "losers and suckers" story is true, you DO realize, ladies and gentlemen, that viewing POWs and lives lost in battle as "losers," instead of providing the ultimate sacrifice for their country, would be yet more evidence of  Trump having literal Nazi mentality, right? 

I think what is also true about Trump, is what the unnamed retired military general allegedly also said in the Atlantic article, that he can't imagine not doing anything for personal gain shouldn't be done. 



Regardless, to me, defunding certain military programs - including their newspaper - is not only censorship, but it is about 1000 times more "anti-American" than kneeling for a flag or sensitivity programs ever even thought of being. 

(FYI, for the ignorant - the reason why people kneel for the flag is to still show reverence and deference for the flag, while at the same time recognizing that there is a double-standard justice in this country, for people of color and the poor.)




Also, by the way, the history of the Stars and Stripes newspaper may also come into play, here - the full history is here, but it began in 1861 during the Civil War, when Union Army captured a newspaper printing press from the Confederate Army in Bloomfield, Missouri, and took over publication. 

If you are interested in helping to avoid total defunding the military's newspaper, Stars and Stripes, please see their subscription info through the first link and/or HERE. 

Otherwise, still wondering how conservative publications can talk out of both sides of their mouths and condemn ALL protesters in America, despite being peaceful, but condemn police brutality in Belarus.

However modern/neoconservatives began to defy logic about 15 years ago or so, so I don't even try to understand it anymore - I gave that up for Lent this past year  - and week, actually :)


____________________________________


PS - I see several people coming over from other blogs; some are friends just checking in; and some - aren't. 




Regardless, just an FYI - I really did remove all remaining Trump/alt-right bloggers from my blog reader and bookmarks, last week,  and I have not been back since and I am not going to go.

That is because I spent over a decade, repeatedly trying to be fair, listening to both sides of these political issues, and encouraging the conservative right to have a voice, even if I didn't agree with it - never receiving the same in return.  

It's become clear that that modern/neoconservatives have abused their privilege of freedom of speech, by promoting fear/hate propaganda and other lies to demonize people of color, other faiths, and even us as their fellow American Democrats - including accusing me personally of things I never said or did.

Modern-day/neoconservatives AKA Trumpers appear to be only concerned about their rights, their privileges, and their social justice, as well putting their money above the money, lives, and livelihoods above everyone and everything else.

Not only is that NOT in line the base premise of the Republican Party or the definition of conservatism, but it is the furthest removed "religion" from the actual words of Christ and Christianity that I can think of; in fact, I would even go so far as to say it's anti-Christian. 

Because the basic premise of the Republican Party is less government intervention/regulation and control/more civil rights, and being a conservative, by definition, meant people who take a strict, conservative approach to the constitution.

However, clearly, that is NOT what neoconservatives and Trumpers stand for; in fact, it's clear they stand for exactly the opposite - unless you look and believe exactly as they do - which is actually taking a liberal approach to the constitution, anti-Republican, not to mention both communist AND fascist simultaneously in mentality and practice - in the sense that both are authoritarianism.

Which is, of course, what makes neoconservatives and Trumpers the ones who are "RINOs" "posers," and "anti-Americans,"  in the end.

Thus, I've decided to just ... stop listening :)

They've made it clear that they are never going to do the same, because  they don't care what anyone who disagrees with them has to say, and in fact, they hope we are silenced - because to them, we're the "enemy," that "all is fair in war" and even libel becomes twisted into "freedom of speech and press."


Thus, after over a decade of repeatedly being willing to at least listen to what they have to say, validating what I agreed with and politely disagreeing with what I didn't - never receiving the same in return (actually twisting my words and falsely accusing me) - I've decided enough is enough - enough time, enough chances.



Lastly, also because it has become abundantly clear that anyone - with the exception of the uneducated, those of lower IQ, and/or people brainwashed in cult-like evangelical religious belief - that still hasn't figured out how much of a pathological liar and con Trump really is, how dark his soul is, by now?

They've repeatedly proven to me that they don't care Trump cheats, compromises national security, and is a greedy, selfish, pathological liar and con, anything to "win" - mostly because they are often dark-souled, greedy, selfish, cheaters,  pathological liars and cons themselves - whether they claim to be a fellow Christian or not.

In fact, it pisses me off that  greed, selfishness, and deception, at the expense of others' lives and livehoods,  have now become synonymous with Christianity, thanks to Trump types of Christians :(


However, I'm not going to stop talking here (despite a few people who have tried to go to great lengths to shut me up) - because freedom of speech goes both ways - and unlike them, I don't abuse that privilege by spreading dysinformation and lies - and this is MY house :)

No, Trump - Even ATTEMPTING to Vote Twice - Both By Mail and In Person - Is Illegal

While in North Carolina, Trump encouraged voters to vote both by mail and in person to "test" it. 

"Let them send it in and let them go vote, and if the system is as good as they say it is, then obviously they won't be able to vote," Trump told local station WECT after arriving in Wilmington, North Carolina.

This is, of course, encouraging voter fraud -  and even attempting to vote twice is illegal - according to both federal election law and North Carolina law - and he knows it.

There are varous ways states have made this illegal, as well as the classification of illegality (felony class, misdemeanor class) -  but it IS illegal in all states, according to both federal and all-state law. 

In fact, in states like North Carolina - it is a felony.

And even if you didn't know that, it says so, on every state's official absentee ballot request, like this one from my state of Kentucky ...

... as well as on the received ballot form itself.

Voting twice is punishable by law - so follow Trump's advice and even attempt to vote twice and you risk jail time. 

Ya know, every time Trump accuses somebody else of something - like election rigging/voter fraud -  I now always say to myself:  "Hey, thanks for the heads up - and by that I mean chronically projecting your own behavior onto everybody else, you completely morally-depraved narcissist." 

Realization After Morning Prayer: "I Shall Not Be Moved "

(Edited/Updated)






(Lyrics at the end of the post) 



So, while praying this morning, I realized some things.

I prayed for healing, unity, peace - and also for anything I might be missing in this situation - was I wrong?  

Why did so many other Christians follow Trump, who appears to me to be a spirtual-deceptive, man-made, graven-image idol armed with propaganda?


Then this song popped in my head, out of nowhere, in the quiet - the Johnny Cash version :)



I didn't mention the whole story of how this happened, when I originally posted this post yesterday, because it sounded so hokey and cheesy, and I was already questioning my sanity because so many Christians and others around me support Trump lol.

However, it IS a true story, nonetheless :)
  

As I mentioned in THIS post about John Prine's death, I was once lucky enough to have Johnny Cash sing several songs to me, live,  when I was 12 years old, in an old Ford truck, while the film crew set up the shot. 

He sang many songs  - not only John Prine's "Paradise," as I mentioned in that prior post, but also "I Shall Not Be Moved." :)

This version, in particular, reminds me of that day - just him and a guitar, Ben Marley and Me  - and the film crew trying to get the shot set up and the lighting just right :)

It was so comforting - he was like a spiritual Dad to me, during that time in my life :)



Also, this hymn was sung during civil rights marches in the 1960s :)


No, God doesn't "talk to me" when I pray (I wish) lol - but it's amazing what insights you glean, when you let things get quiet and pray or meditate :)

However, I DO believe loved ones that have passed on can still let us know they're near sometimes, though, in various ways - and that sometimes, your spirit/soul gives you a little prompt, grieving, or swift kick in the pants lol :)

Not sure if this was one of those times or just subconscious self-comforting?

Regardless, it doesn't really matter - because the song and that memory popped in my head at exactly the right time :)

Because not only was it comforting, but it at least felt like a sort of spiritual confirmation of having the right spiritual perspective, being on the right spiritual path :)

So what other insights did I glean during prayer and meditation today? 

Well, first of all, already known was that clearly, I'm from an extremely dysfunctional family lol.



However, in my family, whenever I pointed out the emperors/empresses weren't wearing clothes - sometimes too aggressively in a panic - but even with sugar on top, I was gaslighted as being the crazy one,  for not seeing things the way they wanted me to,  and got the shit kicked out of me for it, and they made themselves the victims saying I was gaslighting them - and I ended up believing them, for a long time.



As a result, when I see groups of people following another crazy, socially irresponsible, dangerous emperor or empress not wearing clothes, but everyone's pretending they are - I admit - I get a little panicky and start to believe I'M the problem, I'M the crazy one, because so many people can't see what I see.

Thus, I sometimes relentlessly go over and over all the documented facts again and again - which is often perceived as me aggressively having to be right (and not helping the crazy fear lol)  - but what I'm actually doing is going over the facts myself again and again, out of panic that I'm a nut lol ;)




Thus, I apologize for doing so - and I'm sorry it feels that way on the receiving end, I can see where it might.

But please remember, I'm not trying to nail you or anyone to the wall - in fact, it's not even necessarily you that I'm trying to prove wrong (although it depends on whether or not I think you're intentionally lying to my face lol).

Regardless, the intensity comes from me, trying to prove to myself, whether or not I'm crazy, for having the perspective that I have, because of prior experience.

Does that make sense?

Just know "nailing you to the wall" is not my intent - it's really not because I "have to be right" - it's really that I'm panicked that if I'm wrong, that automatically means I'M "crazy," because of my family experience:)



However, simply the act of being wrong, or seeing things from a different perspective, in and of itself, doesn't necessarily mean anyone is crazy.


In fact, that really depends on our definitions of morality, or our levels of the severity of immorality - or perhaps what levels of immorality we think are being ignored versus others - doesn't it?



Regardless, though I may still doubt myself, my perspective, my ability, or even my sanity lol - what I never doubt is a clear difference between right and wrong. 

Because in this case, there's no gray area - I'm very sure of what's right and wrong. 

In fact, even if Trump flooded the world with Kool-Aid, built an ark to save only his own supporters, and you could only get on if you pledged your loyalty to him, and I was the only one left  - I still would not hop on, I would not budge an inch.

 
I shall not be moved :)

(Mark just read this and said he would then blow up the ark to save humanity from the monsters, but I think he's joking. I hope lol.  But we must never forget he was an Army ranger. )

Regardless,  I'm sorry - but from my perspective, nearly everything Trump says, does, and supports is politically motivated, selfish, and morally wrong - and that is never justified - never. 

To include Trump's verbal defense of just one political side, in the Kyle Rittenhouse situation, as "self-defense" - despite the fact that Kyle Rittenhouse shot Joe Rosenbaum before he was chased by the crowd - is morally wrong.


Or his stating to Fox News' Laura Ingraham, this morning, that police officers who kill people"choke" and "miss a 3-foot putt" - meaning what, exactly?   

First of all - puhleease, like you've ever been in that situation as a cop or a soldier to even know.  

Secondly, what the BLEEP does that even mean?  

That they should've shot better and killed Jacob rather than just paralyze him or ?  

They should've shot George Floyd rather than choke him to death?  

Why even bother with due process of law, judge and jury, then, if we're going to allow police and untrained civilians to become judge and jury? 

Oh, that's right - because it's constitutional law.



This is NOT calling for unity - this is divisive, fanning the flames of more fear, more hatred, more violence, and more polarization.

Absolutely and thoroughly bereft of conscience, devoid of morality, spiritually dead and disgusting - and there IS no justification for it. 




Because unless you literally don't have a choice ...


(i.e., military orders or immediate threat of actual harm/death to you or someone you love or destruction of property - and I'm sorry, but Kyle still had a choice - both not to carry an assault rifle illegally, untrained and unauthorized into another neighborhood OR shooting first victim - again, before he was chased - simply because he yelled at him to shoot him or leave and threw a plastic bag.)



... there IS no such thing as committing evil for a greater good.



That is a lie, quite literally from the Father of Lies, that we all just tell ourselves and each other, to justify our own selfishness and evil.

Thanks - back to prayer - and singing "I Shall Not Be Moved" with JC :)

Because I KNOW JC would be disgusted/horrified with what's going on, right along with me - as well as with what Franklin Graham has done to his father (Billy Graham's) ministry and legacy.




Glory hallelujah, I shall not be moved
Anchored in Jehovah, I shall not be moved
Just like the tree that's planted by the waters
I shall not be moved

In His love abiding, I shall not be moved
And in Him confiding, I shall not be moved
Just like the tree that's planted by the water
I shall not be moved

I shall not be, I shall not be moved
I shall not be, I shall not be moved
Just like the tree that's planted by the waters
I shall not be moved

Though all Hell assail me, I shall not be moved
Jesus will not fail me, I shall not be moved
Just like the tree that's planted by the water
I shall not be moved

Though the tempest rages, I shall not be moved
On the rock of ages, I shall not be moved
Just like the tree that's planted by the water
I shall not be moved

I shall not be, I shall not be moved
I shall not be, I shall not be moved
Just like the tree that's planted by the water
I shall not be moved

________________



PS - Speaking of my husband (above), he just walked our dog, and there's some guy, who I don't even think lives here, who's been sitting outside in the middle of the parking lot (not even in a space) for about 20 minutes  - with a big red Trump flag a-flyin' from his antennae. 

 Maybe he's waiting on someone or a contractor, but he's been  sitting in the middle of the parking lot, not even in a parking spot, for at least 20 minutes. 

My husband walked by, dropped his head, shook it, and started laughing.

Trumper "Demonstrator":  (Follows him, pulling up behind him):  "What the F are you laughing at?" 

Mark:  "Ugh - I hate to tell you this, but your boy's going to jail eventually. It's just a matter of time. This is all just desperate deflection and distraction. " 

"Oh, and by the way? I thought you should know, your red communist flag is missing something - the sickle." 

Trumper "Demonstrator" "FU, you don't know what you're talking about, are you a real American? You're anti-America

My husband just walked away, still laughing. 

I'm so proud of him for saying what he had to say about the Trump flag in his face and  then just walking away!

(And yet, I admit, I'm LMAO, too, at what he said.) 

However, that guy is STILL out there, in the parking lot, as I write this, ranting lol!

When my husband just told me about it - I said nothing, just looked out the window at him, still ranting up at my husband, who was now inside with me, I thought to myself: 

"Oh, but I beg to differ, Sir - my husband was an Army ranger - what have YOU done for this country besides wave your little red communist cult flag in other people's parking lots, trying to provoke arguments, in loyalty to your graven-image idol instead of Jesus? 

Trump and America are NOT synonymous, they are two separate entities - and being anti-Trump does NOT mean we're anti-America.
 

And by the way, Mr. America - your little parking lot "demonstration" would have a much bigger impact - IF YOU WEREN'T DRIVING A TOYOTA! LOL!

Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure that's not an iPhone, that's a Samsung, and those clothes you're wearing?  Made in China (as was likely that Trump flag lol). 

But please, continue to stand there and rant, not-so-poetically - in broken, redneck English - about how much you love Trump and "AMUHRca"- when everything you're wearing and own wasn't even made here or by an American company - it amuses us :)

____________________________

BONUS


Another JC song - written by Johnny himself :)

This one didn't just pop in my head during prayer, nor did he sing it in the truck that day - I just thought of it now, while writing about him, and then what my husband said to the Trump "demonstrator" in our parking lot :)


This one was written by Johnny himself ...

"God's Gonna Cut You Down" ... Johnny Cash

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler
The gambler
The back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Well, my goodness gracious, let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee

He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John, go do my will!"

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler
The gambler
The back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Well, you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man

But as sure as God made black and white
What's down in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler
The gambler
The back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down