PS x2 - And Finally, To The Man That Killed Marian

*Edited - content added.

 

This is over 2 years coming, but as a part of my therapy, I'm gonna say this, and then go back to talking about other things. 

Like I said, I try not to think about her because it's so very painful - but I can't carry on her legacy, if I don't  - and I guess I'm not done grieving her.

So to the drunk driver that killed Marian ... 

I don't know you and I don't think I want to know you ... but I forgive you ... as I know Marian would forgive you.

I know you didn't do it on purpose.  

And I do feel sorry for you, that you were so addicted to alcohol to cope with this crazy world and soothe your own pain that you were already so drunk by Sunday afternoon, such that you sped down a 2-lane road, swerving so badly she couldn't avoid you, and plowed head on into her car.  

All I can hope is that you've taken responsibility, sought help with your addiction, and turned your life around - because of Marian.  

 

Nevertheless, I have to be honest - I can't help but want you to have to live with what you did for the rest of your life, just as we have to live the rest of our lives without her.  

And I hope you want to know more about the exceedingly rare, beautiful butterfly of a human life you took, even inadvertently. 

 

She was not just the stereotypical obituary of a mother, grandmother, sister, wife, and friend - she was committed to helping the lives of others, with a special gift for working with children - the most compassionate person I have ever known.  

 

And she was brilliant  - a trained classical pianist, she could compose her own original piece or arrange an existing piece of music for a particular group or choir, literally overnight - adjusting the key or tempo to fit the players and singers, or the general mood, watching them steadfastly for cues while accompanying them.   

 

She thought in metaphors, everything was a metaphor and an opportunity for spiritual growth, especially nature. 

 

And as I said in the post below, to me, she was the walking embodiment of I Corinthians 13.  

If you needed Marian, no matter who you were, Marian was there immediately, day or night.  

 

And she had a great laugh, a little giggle I can still hear.

Once, she took in all the farm-animal pets one of her sons couldn't afford anymore, and single-handedly took care of them all, by herself, in addition to working and mothering and grandmothering - geese, ducks, turkeys, chickens, goats, rabbits, dog and cats.  

She was overwhelmed, which we talked about, then just to make her laugh, I told her that now, I knew what to get her for Christmas that year - a donkey - just to round things out - PLUS - she could shorten her name to "Mary" and ride it into town at Christmas, get people talking 😂  

She laughed so much over that, I miss that laugh.  

 

She would laugh or cry with you, do whatever it took to help ease your pain, no matter what it was.   

And she would've done the same for you, even now, had she lived.  

 

Thus, I can think of no one less deserving of being killed by you or anyone. 

 

As you try to get sober (hopefully) - which I'm sure is harder than ever, after killing someone and not being able to depend on alcohol to cope - please keep Marian in your thoughts every day, to help you remember why you are getting sober?

 

And remember, she would forgive you as I do. 

If nothing else?  

Please ... just remember her.

 

Lastly, as Marian would wish you, ending every call or note with this parting phrase ... "God's Peace."