So I now work for a large faith-based hospital in another state. Now when I say "faith-based," though I mean a particular Christian denomination, being that they are in a large metropolitan area, their Pastoral Care Department is interfaith - meaning they have chaplains available for several denominations of Christianity, but for every faith.
Every morning, their Pastoral Care Department sends these little spiritual notes, which is great, because I believe every faith has some pearl of wisdom to help us get through this thing called life.
The notes have been very helpful after Brookie's passing, as well as thoughtful notes about Holy Week and the profound love, mercy, and sacrifice of Christ.
I asked my employer if I could share the note from Maundy Thursday, but being a large institution, I probably wouldn't get approval until after Easter, so I just decided to share the general concept, as it was Maundy Thursday that day, but what I WILL do is credit the Pastoral Care Dept for the inspiration 😊
Of course, although the spiritual notes this week have been comforting during Brookie's passing, Thursday's message was a great reminder about Christianity not being just about my own comfort, as Christianity is mostly about servitude, not receiving service.
I tend to isolate myself during times of grief or difficulties, not wanting to burden anyone or to cry in front of others whom I don't know well.
(In fact, although I tear up, I have a hard time crying full tears at all anymore, and rarely do - but believe me, I did this week!)
Also, it's just not safe to be vulnerable and share your thoughts and feelings with everybody, especially in these times of snap-judgement social media, as well as us seeing a revival of the idea of sharing any other feeling but anger is a sign of weakness.
But since female anger or outrage scares men, what are we supposed to do? We cry, which science now tells us relieves stress hormones.
But since female anger or outrage scares men, what are we supposed to do? We cry, which science now tells us relieves stress hormones.
Then even with that, women have gotten a bad wrap for that too, for "using tears" as "manipulation"
I'm not saying some women don't - but women like that give the rest of us women a bad name, especially when most "normal" women cry more often in sympathy or empathy, rather than out of their own pain or self-pity.
I'm not saying some women don't - but women like that give the rest of us women a bad name, especially when most "normal" women cry more often in sympathy or empathy, rather than out of their own pain or self-pity.
In fact, over the years, though I can't hide my anxiety disorder, I've become an expert at hiding sorrow, only sharing it with people who I'm sure won't judge.
Also, I need to add here in full disclosure, that I've been very confused about faith for a while, now - not only after my most loving Christian friend was killed by a drunk driver in May of 2023, driving home from church on a Sunday afternoon, after tending to the church garden ...
... but also because of some things I'd hoped were life-restoration gifts from God that actually were not ...
... but mostly because today's Christian movement has become so militant, so angry, so demanding, so merciless, so paranoid - so unable to distinguish between criticism and true persecution - so greedy and selfish - the antithesis of everything Christ stood for, according to my interpretation of who Christ was in his own words.
... but also because of some things I'd hoped were life-restoration gifts from God that actually were not ...
... but mostly because today's Christian movement has become so militant, so angry, so demanding, so merciless, so paranoid - so unable to distinguish between criticism and true persecution - so greedy and selfish - the antithesis of everything Christ stood for, according to my interpretation of who Christ was in his own words.
In fact, dare I say it, today's Christians seem to embody everything that Christ himself preached against.
I believe Christ evolved humanity and human law, even repudiated prior merciless OT law - and we were meant to continue that progression, as we grew as civilizations and understood more about science, and people and the world around us - NOT adhere to and revert back to OT-style merciless law!
Now, I'm no Christian expert, but I have studied comparative religion as well as Christianity, in college, meaning within it's historical and cultural context, which is quite eye-opening. (But don't do it if you're defensive about what you already believe and aren't open to new ways of looking at things and new interpretations, or willing to concede the bible itself was edited twice - at the Council of Nicene and the Council of Trent.)
I believe Christ evolved humanity and human law, even repudiated prior merciless OT law - and we were meant to continue that progression, as we grew as civilizations and understood more about science, and people and the world around us - NOT adhere to and revert back to OT-style merciless law!
Now, I'm no Christian expert, but I have studied comparative religion as well as Christianity, in college, meaning within it's historical and cultural context, which is quite eye-opening. (But don't do it if you're defensive about what you already believe and aren't open to new ways of looking at things and new interpretations, or willing to concede the bible itself was edited twice - at the Council of Nicene and the Council of Trent.)
In doing so, although I think all religious icons have something we can learn from, I rechose Christianity as my faith because he was the only one to die in sacrifice for our redemption.
I also chose Buddhism as adjunctive philosophy, and yes, Christians can do that - because when I say Buddhist philosophy, I mean Buddhism before people started mixing it with ancestor worship, as Buddha himself never meant for Buddhism to be a religion and said "When I'm dead, don't pray to me, I won't hear you. Work out your own salvation with diligence - I'm here to teach you a better way to live."
But no religion is pure - they've all been influenced by the others and prior - including Christianity, who "borrowed" most of their OT law from the merciless Sumerians/Babylonians, their captors, who didn't believe in an afterlife and thus all punishment was swift and merciless, which is why Christ amended or repudiated it - because it's not Judeo-Christian at all.
Regardless, the miracle of Christianity in particular to me is that despite the appropriation from other faiths within the bible itself, despite the heavy editing, despite the mistranslations, despite omissions of important text at the Councils of Nicene and Trent, despite our varying interpretations - Christ's message of love, mercy, self-sacrifice, and servitude somehow still survived the cuts.
Christ's words are unlike anything else in the bible (sometimes even contradicted by Paul later) - but today's Christians seem to focus on everything else in the bible BUT Christ's words.
Despite my confusion in faith in recent years, I found myself wanting comfort, this week, with Brookie's passing, and there are some pearls in scripture about that, too - if nothing else, that Christ understood our sorrow and suffering very well.
And also, as weird as it sounds, if nothing else, I recognized the timing of things was exactly the way it was supposed to be, which restored my faith - a little.
Also, as mentioned, she died peacefully, in Mark's arms, and it happened fast.
Sometimes you think the timing is the worst, but in the end, things happened exactly the way they were supposed to.
Maybe another time you couldn't afford it. Maybe something else was coming, good or bad, that they wouldn't have been able to handle. Maybe it was dramatic, inconvenient timing, but if it hadn't happened that way, you wouldn't be reminded of just who and what is important, or with some things like human deaths and human dynamics, to see truth you needed to see, despite unpleasant.
And of course, there is nothing wrong with needing spiritual comfort and guidance, and those of us with introvert bends tend to want to be alone (or with a close select few) when grieving or sad, rather than needing sympathy or needing to be picked up by others in groups, which is okay, too.
Everybody grieves differently.
In fact, though I've taken the Myers-Briggs many times, it's been 20 years, and though it may have changed over time, I always tested right on the line between introversion or extroversion and that sounds about right. At that time, I was either INFP/ENFP, but right on the line regarding introversion/extroversion.
This essentially means that I like my time to be about 50% alone and the other 50% social-support time.
Though only about 25% of the world's population are introverts, contrary to popular belief, introversion isn't necessarily about being quiet or shy (though that can be a part of it), it's more about how you like to process things, your preference for coping with stress and the amount of time you'd prefer to spend in groups versus alone, etc.
Over time, I have learned to tell other people that I'm going radio-silent for a bit to grieve, etc., so that they know it's not about them, I'm neither abandoning them nor ghosting them, and I'm okay or will be okay - it's just about needing private alone time.
But at some point, it's important to realize there's life out there outside our own pain, people with even greater grief and burdens than yours, and since you know what that feels like to any degree, it's important to reach out of your own pain and help others suffering.
It's appears to be about using the bible a rigid, black-or-white moral rule book for the sort of people that apparently have no internal moral compass and thus need something outside of themselves to stop them from engaging in unhealthy behaviors.
These "moral" rules apparently now only apply only to sex, gender and reproductive issues, completely ignoring that Christ himself never mentioned these things at all and mostly preached against greed, power abuse, deceit, and showing compassion.
Worse, they then unfortunately use these rules to shame/beat other people up with so that they can feel better about themselves and more in control. This has always been around, of course, but it has caught fire to a level I've never seen in my lifetime.
Now - I worded it that way, "by the sort of people who need something outside of themselves to stop them," for a reason - because this is addict behavior.
And in fact, Jesus is used by many like a drug to get a personal high from - especially in America - which is why so many alcoholics/addicts are drawn to it.
And if you think it's not harmful like a drug, think again - especially for others around them. Look at our politics, right now. Look at the worst case scenario, killing people as witches and heretics.
For many, it's about the self-uplift, the feeling of acceptance, belonging and being loved unconditionally of Christ, of Christ understanding their own struggles (though the church itself is so NOT like that).
Though the uplift and feeling unconditionally loved/belonging is part of it, the actual focus of Christ's sermons is about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you and standing up to power abuse - WITHOUT - the goal of gaining anything in return OR converting anyone to Christianity.
Now - I worded it that way, "by the sort of people who need something outside of themselves to stop them," for a reason - because this is addict behavior.
And in fact, Jesus is used by many like a drug to get a personal high from - especially in America - which is why so many alcoholics/addicts are drawn to it.
And if you think it's not harmful like a drug, think again - especially for others around them. Look at our politics, right now. Look at the worst case scenario, killing people as witches and heretics.
For many, it's about the self-uplift, the feeling of acceptance, belonging and being loved unconditionally of Christ, of Christ understanding their own struggles (though the church itself is so NOT like that).
Though the uplift and feeling unconditionally loved/belonging is part of it, the actual focus of Christ's sermons is about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you and standing up to power abuse - WITHOUT - the goal of gaining anything in return OR converting anyone to Christianity.
In fact, Christ is very specific differentiating between "evangelizing" and "proselytizing," actually chiding the Pharisees for the latter.
"Evangelism" is sharing the good news to people who either haven't heard (which is rare in today's word) and/or who have expressed interest in it.
"Proselytizing" is preaching and doing good deeds with the goal of conversion.
Unfortunately, most of today's Christians do not know the difference and actually believe Christianity is about proselytizing and converting others, "saving souls," when Christ commanded nothing of the sort.
The Great Commission in is about "evangelizing" - NOT proseytizing.
Need proof?
Let's compare words Christ used.
Matthew 23:15
What did Christ mean here?
I think Christ is pretty clear, here - Christ meant your travel and interactions with the goal of conversion - especially forceful, but even doing good works with travel with the goal of conversion - was actually a sinful act deserving of hell..
Now - The Great Commission - which has actually been mistranslated from its original Koine Greek.
Our English interpretation of Matthew 28:16-20 says this:
Here's where the mistranslation lies -- πορευθέντες (“go”).
This actually means "as you are going" in Greek, not an imperative command of "Go."
In other words, it means he was telling the disciples as they spread the good news to people who hadn't ever heard it, "evangelizing," they were to baptize those who choose it to become fellow disciples along the way.
It therefore is NOT a commandment, it is instruction for the disciples at a specific time, when the world had not yet heard of Christ, and it definitely does NOT mean to proseltyze or force anyone into Christianity as a convert.
Also - and most importantly - verse 18 is the most important.
Jesus said right before this instruction that "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
That means God and Christ do the conversion work, not us - which should've been a precursor clue that Christ was instructing not to proselytize, but to assist others into becoming disciples of Christ who have heard the good news and show interest.
Therefore, IMO, if you were doing your good works for the goal of conversion points for yourself or your church, rather than the benefit of the person you're helping, then you are, in fact, sinning and will make the proselyte "twice as much" a child of hell/sinner than yourself.
So totally confused about what Christ really wanted now? 😂
No worries - if nothing else, Christ's ultimate sacrifice should make it abundantly clear.
We are to follow suit and serve, even making personal sacrifices, with the goal of doing unto others as we would have them do unto us with no other goal than helping others/betterment of humanity as extension of the love of God - period.
Illustrating the point perhaps better than any act Christ took just before his death was what we call "Maundy Thursday."
John 13:1 - 17
At this time, kneeling down to wash others' feet was a very humble, subservient act.
How about Matthew
For evidence that there was a difference to Christ is this:
Unfortunately, many Christian faiths today do not
The Great Commission in is about "evangelizing" - NOT proseytizing.
Need proof?
Let's compare words Christ used.
Matthew 23:15
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
What did Christ mean here?
I think Christ is pretty clear, here - Christ meant your travel and interactions with the goal of conversion - especially forceful, but even doing good works with travel with the goal of conversion - was actually a sinful act deserving of hell..
Now - The Great Commission - which has actually been mistranslated from its original Koine Greek.
Our English interpretation of Matthew 28:16-20 says this:
"Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Here's where the mistranslation lies -- πορευθέντες (“go”).
This actually means "as you are going" in Greek, not an imperative command of "Go."
In other words, it means he was telling the disciples as they spread the good news to people who hadn't ever heard it, "evangelizing," they were to baptize those who choose it to become fellow disciples along the way.
It therefore is NOT a commandment, it is instruction for the disciples at a specific time, when the world had not yet heard of Christ, and it definitely does NOT mean to proseltyze or force anyone into Christianity as a convert.
Also - and most importantly - verse 18 is the most important.
Jesus said right before this instruction that "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."
That means God and Christ do the conversion work, not us - which should've been a precursor clue that Christ was instructing not to proselytize, but to assist others into becoming disciples of Christ who have heard the good news and show interest.
Therefore, IMO, if you were doing your good works for the goal of conversion points for yourself or your church, rather than the benefit of the person you're helping, then you are, in fact, sinning and will make the proselyte "twice as much" a child of hell/sinner than yourself.
So totally confused about what Christ really wanted now? 😂
No worries - if nothing else, Christ's ultimate sacrifice should make it abundantly clear.
We are to follow suit and serve, even making personal sacrifices, with the goal of doing unto others as we would have them do unto us with no other goal than helping others/betterment of humanity as extension of the love of God - period.
Illustrating the point perhaps better than any act Christ took just before his death was what we call "Maundy Thursday."
John 13:1 - 17
2 The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
7 Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
8 “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
9 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
10 Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.
12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them.
13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
At this time, kneeling down to wash others' feet was a very humble, subservient act.
Was he telling them to do it with the goal of conversion of others?
Was he telling them to only do it for other Christians or people they cared about?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
He commanded them - actually using the word "command" to once again, do unto others as you would have them do unto you and that "no master is greater than his servant."
Also, interestingly, John 12 is worth a read in conjunction to his words just before:
47 And if anyone hears My words and does not [g]believe, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. 48 He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him—the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day. 49 For I have not spoken on My own authority; but the Father who sent Me gave Me a command, what I should say and what I should speak.
Ho, hoooo, my fellow Christians - Christ is saying here that others reject him, Christ himself does not judge, that is up to his father, God, on judgment day.
Therefore, if Christ himself does not judge rejection of himself and leaves reward/punishment to God for choosing him in free will, why aren't we again, and why are we so obsessed with conversion of others?
In fact, why are we trying to now force our entire nation to follow Christ - especially by your own likely misinterpretation of him?
Okay, but don't forget, fellow Christians - Christ offers a double-entendre warning in Matthew 18 of what awaits you if you were cause "little ones" (meaning God's children to stumble in their faith) because of your own actions; in fact, he states that "greater a millstone be hung around they neck and thrown into the deepest ocean that what awaits you from God's punishment."
Now - once again, I do not claim to be an expert on Christianity, nor do I demand anyone else interprets Christ the way I do - but I DO take issue with the selfish direction modern Christianity is taking.
But if you do dig my interpretation - or more accurately, my focus on verses other Christians like to ignore - here are the takeaways:
TAKEAWAYS
1. Jesus is NOT a replacement drug for your addictions, or a self-uplifting high off of t all.
In fact, he's not to be used solely to make yourself "feel better" and get through life - he expects stewardship of others and yes, even requests selflessness and self-sacrifice if for the betterment of humanity.
2. Conversely, Jesus never "commanded" that you convert anybody, forcefully or under the guises of doing good deeds with the goal of conversion.
Christ instructed - not commanded - sharing the good news "along the way" to those who haven't heard it (which is rare in today's world) and baptizing them as disciples - IF - they showed interest/chose to in their God-given free will.
In fact, nowhere in the bible does it say you get extra reward points in heaven for doing so, and it does NOT say it is your job to "save people from hell.
In fact, according to Matthew 23, it is more likely that you are making them "twice a child of hell" with your pushing or your forceful conversion attempts.
It only says he will say "Well done by good and faithful servant" - IF - you followed his commandments - but remember, Christ only gave two, loving God above all else in your life AND loving your neighbor than yourself.
So then if you're honest, the only reason you're trying to actively trying to convert people, either through force or even good works or talking about Jesus every time you speak with someone, it's done out of actual selfishness - imaging you'll get some extra reward points for yourself or your church, or even your own insecurity - not for them or for God.
And if you imagine that there will be some punishment for NOT converting others - where is THAT in the bible again?
Christ's commandments never included doing good deeds for others as a means of conversion, but out out of nothing more than the love of/betterment of humanity, as an extension of himself.
Therefore, servitude should never come with any attachment goals of conversion or votes or anything else, either for yourself or your church - these good deeds are to be done to better the lives of others and humanity - period.
Also, note that he never says "Other Christians" or "Only other _____ people" - he says "others" - period.
3) Unless you humble yourself to serve others, regardless of leadership or position, serving others in humility - doing unto others as you would have them do unto you - then you are NOT following Christ's actual commandments - not instruction, commandments.
Not only did Christ say the millstone thing, but he also said that you can heal, cast out demons in Christ's name, but if you also sew discord, work iniquity and strife, he will still say "Depart from me, I never knew you." (Matthew 7:21-23)
5. If you're using the bible as some sort of moral rulebook for yourself on how to behave and what's right/wrong, as well as feel more comfortable/less out of control - either because you otherwise have no internal moral compass or need something outside of yourself to guide you in general - it doesn't mean everyone else does.
The above sentence is doubly true if you limit your morality to sex.
So if you are using the bible as just your sexual morality rulebook - and worse, imposing these as rules on others - not only have you completely ignored Christ's message in favor of others' passages, but you're completely missing out on the total height, breadth, and depth of Christ's actual message about the true love of God.
5) Understand the difference between criticism and and persecution and stop being so defensive out of your own insecurity; self-examine first?.
Is there something you're doing as a self-proposed Christian that could legitimately be perceived as hurtful, rude, cruel, exclusive, or mean?
Have you demanded your own way, under the guises of Christianity or not, above all other ways, imposing just your version of Christianity and conversion on everyone else, then called it "persecution" when criticized for doing so, after someone(s) was adversely affected by your doing so?
Have you caused others to stumble because of your actions or misinterpretations is scripture?
Then above passages encourage you, according to Christ, to self-examine your behavior as a Christian and to take criticism - NOT automatically jump to persecution when others have done so.
Perhaps the way you are doing things instead according to your personality as a human, and it's hurting others or causing others to stumble in Christ's name?
In that case, it's not persecution - it means it's time for self-examination and self-correction, demanding what YOU want over others.
All of the above to say, if you have jumped on the current Christian political bandwagon to follow the way of greed, paranoia, mercilessness, demanding of your own way or faith, labeling anyone not just like you your "enemy," then ask yourself if who you're following is really Christ or Christ based - because these are things that Christ would never, ever condone, and actually preached against.
Also know this - this current behavior by self-proposed Christians in politics is causing many, many "little ones" and others struggling in their Christian faith to stumble, and causing some to turn away completely.
Because it appears, at least to me, that today's Christians do not know the difference between "value" and "love" anymore?
Perhaps that is because not a single one of our self-proposed Christian politicians appear to know the difference.
This weekend, I am going to focus not on what I value but what I love = and serve them accordingly.
Will you join me?
Happy Easter 😊
How about Matthew
For evidence that there was a difference to Christ is this:
Unfortunately, many Christian faiths today do not
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